Have you ever been asked out on a date by someone you didn't like? Or are you feeling it right now? Rejecting someone's feelings or invitations subtly is not as easy as turning the palm of the hand; on the one hand you don't want to hurt his feelings, but on the other hand you also want to quickly get rid of the discomfort that ensnares him. Unfortunately, the same dilemma occurs when you want to break up with someone you no longer want to date. Want to know how to reject someone's feelings without hurting them? Read on for this article to find the answer!
Step
Method 1 of 3: Smooth Refuse
Step 1. Tell the truth
Generally, telling the truth is the best way to turn someone down. Lying, whatever the situation, is basically a negative and disrespectful act. If you really don't want to date someone, make sure you're as honest and straightforward as possible.
- There are times when you need to be outspoken. For example, you could say, "No thanks, I already have a date for the party.".
- But there are times when you need to soften the refusal by saying, “No, thanks. I just feel like we don't quite match up."
- Don't make up excuses. For example, don't admit to going out of town on the weekends if you don't actually do it. Be careful, there's a chance you'll run into him by accident; believe me, his heart will hurt if he knows you have lied to him.
Step 2. Use the “layered compliment” technique
Layered praise is a very effective technique for eliciting a response; Basically, you need to "flank" a negative comment with two positive comments. Try using this technique if you need to turn someone down.
- An example of layered compliments is to say, “You are such a lovely person! Unfortunately, I'm not interested in dating you. But believe me, one day someone will be very lucky to be able to date someone as great as you!"
- You can also say, “You are such a good friend! Sorry, I just thought of you as a friend. Eh, but I really like it when we travel together!"
- Show your sincerity. Don't give false compliments; trust me, she will notice it and get hurt by it.
Step 3. Be straightforward
If you don't want to date someone, be honest and firm about your rejection. Don't be complicated, don't give false hope. If your decision has been made, immediately convey it.
- If someone asks you out on a date but you don't want to accept the invitation, express your refusal in a firm way. Do not worry; You can be direct and friendly at the same time.
- Trust me, you can always express your feelings frankly without hurting other people's feelings. Try smiling and saying, “Your invitation sounds fun, but I'm sorry, I can't come along. I'm not interested in dating you."
- Don't mince words. If you don't want to accept his feelings, there's no need to say, "I'll think about it, okay?".
- It's best to convey your refusal as soon as possible. Don't give false hope by saying, "I'll call you later, okay?".
Step 4. Appreciate him
Treat him the way you want to be treated. In other words, make sure you always think before you speak; consider your response well.
- It's okay to take a moment before responding, especially since you're bound to be surprised and need some time to think first.
- Say thank you. You should feel grateful for being liked by others; For that, try saying, "Thank you for liking me, but sorry, I can't accept it.".
- Do not laugh. Some people tend to laugh nervously when caught in an awkward situation. Try not to do it if you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings.
Step 5. Communicate effectively
Sometimes, what matters is not what you say, but how you say it. If you want to deny someone's feelings, try to think of other factors that play a role besides your words. Remember, nonverbal language also has a very big contribution to a conversation!
- Use the right tone of voice. Make sure your voice is firm but still soft.
- Make eye contact. This kind of body language will show your seriousness as well as your appreciation for the other person.
- If the two of you are out in public, don't talk too loudly. There's no need to show everyone that you're rejecting other people's feelings.
Method 2 of 3: Ending the Relationship on Good
Step 1. Take responsibility for your decisions
Remember, there is always a way to end a relationship on good terms. The first step you need to take is to manage the situation as quickly and wisely as possible.
- Don't procrastinate! If you really want to end the relationship with your partner, do it as soon as possible.
- Don't wait for your partner to break up first. Avoid the temptation to do bad things for your partner to break up!
- Making your partner end your relationship doesn't necessarily make you a better person. By doing so, you will actually put the burden on the shoulders of your partner, right?
Step 2. Respect your partner's feelings
Ending a relationship with a partner can be an awkward and painful experience. Therefore, try to do it very carefully; consider your partner's feelings!
- Don't blame him. For example, you don't have to say, "Our relationship has to end because I don't think you're a good boyfriend!".
- Nothing prevents you from voicing concerns or complaints; just make sure you offer honest and constructive criticism.
- For example, you could say, “I'm sorry, but I'm really annoyed that you keep canceling appointments so suddenly. I think our relationship must end."
- You can also say positive things like, “There are so many things I'm grateful for dating you; Even so, I feel it's time for me to move on without you.".
Step 3. Plan your words
Breaking up with a partner is not an easy process and is sure to leave you feeling nervous. Sometimes, making detailed plans can make the process easier! Think carefully about what kind of communication approach you choose.
- Think about the main points you want to make. For example, if you feel that you are no longer compatible with your partner, make sure you share it.
- Take short notes. Understanding thoughts in written form will be much easier for you; in addition, it will also help you to remember what you want to say.
- Think about your partner's feelings. Practice your rejection in front of the mirror; Try to find a rejection sentence that seems the most honest and natural.
Step 4. Find the right time
You really can't keep your partner from hurting; but at the very least, choosing the right time and location can help make things easier for both of you. Make sure you also consider your partner's perspective!
- Disconnect directly. You might be tempted to say goodbye via email or text message, but don't! Show your appreciation for your partner by having them talk one-on-one.
- As much as possible, don't end the relationship in public. For example, don't break up with your partner at your friend's birthday.
- Give warning in advance. Let your partner know that you want to have a serious conversation with him. Try saying, "I have to say something that might upset you.".
Step 5. Make a firm decision
Ending a relationship with someone you once loved is not easy; this is why many people often try to "end the relationship" slowly by avoiding their partner. In fact, breaking the relationship firmly is the most positive and effective way to end a relationship.
- Set clear boundaries. Try saying, "It seems a lot better if we don't communicate for a while.".
- Consider blocking them from your social media pages; By doing so, neither of you will be tempted to constantly monitor each other's social media status.
- Don't give him hope. After a breakup, stop flirting with your ex or doing anything that might give them false hope.
Method 3 of 3: Put Your Interests First
Step 1. Know what to look out for
Accepting rejection can create a tremendous emotional surge in a person. In fact, your refusal is likely to make him very angry and aggressive. Therefore, make sure you know the things to watch out for before submitting the rejection.
- Your safety is top priority. If you think the rejection could make him very angry, think about preventive measures before dealing with it.
- If you know he has a bad temper, consider rejecting him in public. Although the situation feels more awkward, at least your safety will be more guaranteed because of it.
- Know when it's time to leave the situation. If your refusal upsets him, don't keep trying to explain. Leave him immediately if he starts to be aggressive!
- If the person seems to be having a hard time managing their emotions, you can express your disapproval via email or text message.
Step 2. Put your feelings first
Rejecting someone's feelings is never fun and will likely make you feel guilty afterwards. However, realize that your feelings still come first.
- Don't say "yes" just because you don't want to say "no". Make sure you only date people you like.
- Realize that your happiness is the most important thing. Remember, you are under no obligation to date someone you don't like!
- Consider your motivations. Don't let your decisions be influenced by other people's opinions. Have a personal opinion and stick to it.
Step 3. Ask someone you trust for opinion
Rejecting someone is not an easy act; therefore, there is nothing wrong with asking for opinions from people you trust, such as close friends or relatives.
- Consider asking your relative's opinion. More than likely, they can help you find a more subtle way of saying, “No thanks.”.
- Choose a friend you can trust. Don't let the situation leak into other people's ears before your partner or crush knows about it.
- Share your feelings honestly. Try saying, "I feel really nervous about having to turn someone down.".
Tips
- Give a clear reason for the refusal to reduce the possibility of hurting her.
- Don't gossip. Don't tell your friends about your rejection and laugh at the situation.
- Make eye contact; show that you appreciate it.
- Don't beat around the bush; if you don't make your refusal outright, you're giving it room for hope.
