For many people, accepting rejection from the person they like is not as easy as turning the palm of the hand. In fact, expressing your disapproval is not as easy as you think, especially if the person is a close friend of yours. Although rejecting someone is not a pleasant situation, in fact almost everyone will experience it at least once in their life. Want full tips to make the process even easier? Read on for this article!
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Method 1 of 3: Rejecting People You've Known For A Long Time
Step 1. Prepare yourself
If you're thinking about rejecting someone's romantic feelings, you should have thought about the consequences. In other words, believe that the person isn't the right fit for you, and accept the fact that the friendship that was previously formed may have to end or will no longer feel the same after that. Also think about ways you can convey those intentions.
- Think well of the words. Don't just say, "no"! Instead, try to explain your intentions in a polite and mature manner.
- Choose words wisely. If you want to practice first in front of the mirror or your closest relatives, don't hesitate to do it. Make sure your message sounds clear, polite, and easily understood by those who hear it.
- Be willing to adapt to the reaction. Don't look like you're reading a script! Practice with different scenarios to make your response sound more natural.
Step 2. Don't put it off
Humans have a tendency to put off responsibilities that are not unattractive or enjoyable. However, understand that your procrastination will only make the situation worse, especially if you're absolutely sure you want to end the relationship. The longer you put it off, the more likely you are to think that your relationship is going well. As a result, he will be more surprised and hurt when he hears your refusal.
- Find the right time. For example, don't turn someone down on their birthday or before their job interview. However, don't keep looking for the "best time" because that time will never come.
- If you're looking to cut ties with your long-term partner, try reading the wikiHow articles entitled How to Break Up or How to Break Up with a Guy on a friendly basis for more relevant tips.
Step 3. Express the objection directly
No matter how tempting it may be to express your disapproval via text message, email, phone, etc., understand that bad news is better delivered in person. This step is especially worth taking if you plan to turn down someone you're already good friends with. Show your appreciation and maturity!
- By doing so, you can instantly see his reaction, whether it's surprise, anger, or even relief. As a result, you can adjust your response to whatever the reaction at that time.
- Find a quiet, private (or at least less crowded) location. Remember, no one is willing to be rejected in public. Rejecting someone in a noisy place is also unwise because it could potentially make it difficult for the person to hear what you have to say. If you are reluctant to chat with him alone, at least choose a public place that is not too crowded such as restaurants, malls, etc.
Step 4. Help him prepare to listen to your refusal
When the time comes, don't jump right into the topic without any bridge!
- Make him more relaxed by inviting him to have casual conversations, but don't overdo it either. Remember, you need to be able to bridge casual and serious conversations without sounding awkward or pushy.
- Try bridging the conversation with common rejection opening lines such as, "I'm so happy to be friends with you, but…"; "To be honest, I've been thinking about this for a long time, and…"; or "I'm glad we tried, but…"
Step 5. Be honest, but still polite
Tell the reason behind your refusal honestly! Don't pretend to have a boyfriend, be in a relationship with an ex, or decide to go to military school. If caught, your lie will only make the situation between the two of you even more difficult.
- Give honest and accurate reasons, but don't blame them. Focus on “I” speech that expresses your needs, feelings, and personal perspective. A rejection sentence like, “The problem is with me, not you” may sound cliché, but is actually a very powerful strategy if applied correctly.
- Instead, "I can't date someone whose life is a mess;" Try saying, "I want my life to be more organized, clear, and structured."
- Convey that there is a character of yours who is prone to clash with his character so that it has the potential to make the relationship between the two of you unsuccessful.
Step 6. Give him time to process the rejection
Don't just make excuses, say goodbye, then leave it unclear. Make sure he fully understands your refusal and the reasons behind it, and provides a response.
- If you don't give him the space to get involved, he'll actually find it easier to feel hopeful in the future.
- Show sympathy and allow him to express his disappointment, sadness, and frustration. However, make sure you don't tolerate any form of verbal or emotional abuse!
Step 7. Stay true to your point of view and don't give up easily
The worst thing you can do is take back your rejection because you feel sorry and don't want to hurt the person. Don't start something you can't finish!
- Show remorse (eg by putting a hand on his shoulder), but never back down! Make sure you continue to decline politely and empathetically. For example, try saying, "I'm sorry, this is also difficult for me, but I believe this is the best path for both of us."
- Don't allow him to point out flaws or errors in your explanation, promise changes if you're willing to reconsider, or accuse your understanding of being wrong. Remember, you are not in the courtroom!
- Don't give false hope. Don't say you're "not ready" or just want to be friends at this point (even if you really want to, don't say it at this point). Ambiguity and indecision he can easily interpret as opportunity.
Step 8. End the relationship on good terms
In other words, politely say no and thank them for the opportunity to get to know them. Emphasize that someone as good as him will surely find someone greater than you in the future. Also convey your wishes for success and happiness in the future.
Step 9. Be more caring when rejecting a close friend
Want to remain friends with him after the rejection? If so, tell them how much you value the friendship, but don't use that excuse to reject it. Most likely, the answer will not feel satisfying, especially for someone who is ready to sacrifice friendships.
- Explain why things that feel good in friendships may not be so in romantic relationships. For example, try saying, “You're a very spontaneous and fun person, that's why I always look to you if I want to escape for a while from my life's problems. But, you know, I actually really prioritize structure and consistency. That's why I need a partner who has a similar character."
- Be prepared for awkward situations. Trust me, the situation between the two of you will definitely feel awkward and uncomfortable, especially if you reject it. Don't make him feel guilty by saying, "Wow, why is this so awkward?" Instead, thank your friend for having the courage to share their feelings honestly and openly.
- Accept the fact that your friendship may end. Chances are, the person you reject will decide that is the best path. Whatever your preferences, there's really nothing you can do to change his decision. So try saying, “I really want to stay friends with you, but I know you'll need some time to think about it. Call me again, whenever you're ready!"
Method 2 of 3: Rejecting New People
Step 1. Be honest, straightforward, and kind
If the person is new to you, you will likely be tempted to make up excuses to avoid the possibility of dating them. After all, you probably won't see him again, right? If your chances of seeing him again are slim, why not try telling the truth? Even though the situation will feel a little awkward, at least you will both feel a lot more relieved afterwards.
For example, you might say, "It's nice to have a chat with you, but I'm not thinking about taking the relationship any further. I'm sorry."
Step 2. State your intentions clearly
In these situations, you don't have too much time to prepare for rejection. Therefore, don't bother thinking about long excuses. Instead, just provide a clear, concise and clear explanation of the reasons behind your refusal.
Focus on the "I" statement. In other words, point out why you're not a good fit for someone like him. For example, “I'm sorry, but I don't like [doing extreme sports/traveling/playing online poker], so I don't think we're compatible.”
Step 3. Don't admit to changing your phone number or having a girlfriend
Act like an adult! While giving a fake number has the potential to reduce the awkwardness later on, doing so will only hurt the person more. If you want to end things well, at least keep a positive image even if you are no longer in touch with him.
Try to be honest and straightforward about your rejection first. In other words, resist the urge to use classic tricks like admitting you already have a boyfriend
Step 4. Don't joke
Even if you want to dilute the awkwardness, don't go too far by making jokes, quoting words from movies, etc. Most likely, he would actually feel humiliated by it. Don't position yourself as a jerk!
Don't make sarcastic sentences or jokes. Be careful, he can be offended if he hears you say, "Ah, how can someone like you want to date someone like me " in a high voice, sound fake, and end with a smile. Under normal circumstances, he might laugh together You, however, most likely, he won't be able to do it in this kind of situation
Method 3 of 3: Rejecting Difficult People
Step 1. Forget what you learned if necessary
If the other person doesn't pick up on your rejection signals, doesn't want to accept your rejection, or doesn't even want to leave your side, you're likely going to need to go a little more extreme to end the relationship quickly and safely.
"Sorry, I'm not interested in having a further relationship with you. Good luck in your next life, okay. Goodbye!"
Step 2. Lie if necessary
Not good at lying? If so, don't try it.
- If necessary, lie a little. Remember, small lies are easier to tell than big lies.
- If necessary, lie and say that your cell phone number has changed or that you just got a new boyfriend. Or, focus on conveying "I" phrases such as "I recently broke up with my boyfriend after we'd been together for years;" “I can't date people of a different religion/race;” or “You are too much like my brother/sister.”
Step 3. Don't feel obligated to reject it outright
In a situation like this, it's best to simply send your refusal by email or text message, especially if he has the potential to react aggressively. Feel free to create the necessary distance before conveying your refusal.
Step 4. Don't just ignore it and hope it will go away on its own
Some people will only understand after hearing a really straightforward, clear, and unambiguous rejection. Therefore, do not leave it unexplained! Do your best to express your objection in a clear but polite manner.
- Don't ignore text messages, phone calls, or e-mails if you haven't really given a clear, straightforward refusal. After your intention has been conveyed properly, then you can ignore it or even file a complaint with the authorities.
- Feel your life is threatened or insecure? Immediately contact the authorities and seek the necessary assistance! Be careful, some people are too difficult to accept rejection so they have the potential to take negative actions afterwards.
