Loving friends is normal. But how can you be sure that what you're feeling isn't really romantic love? Sometimes, it's hard to tell the difference between a platonic friendship and another kind of love. If confused, try evaluating your friendship. Think of a time when you experienced a kind of love for a friend or friend. You can also consider priorities. What are you looking for in a partner? Do you want to take relationships to the next level? There are several ways to find out without sacrificing friendship.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Evaluating Friendship
Step 1. Assess your feelings
Think about how powerful your emotions are for him. There are many similarities in feelings for friends and lovers, but when in love, the feelings are intense. In general, the more intense your feelings for someone, the more likely you are to fall in love.
For example, you feel a special connection because you can both laugh at the same jokes and get along very well when chatting. When you love someone, the feeling becomes more intense. You may feel intoxicated or very excited
Step 2. Watch for physical reactions
The body is also capable of showing signs of love. When you are with a loved one, your heart beats faster or it feels like butterflies are fluttering in your stomach. Maybe you are nervous and confused yourself. When you're with regular friends, you probably won't giggle or sweat for no reason.
- You may be happy when you meet friends. However, there are no physical changes that are felt when you see or hug him.
- With a loved one, you may not be able to control your body's reactions. For example, sweaty palms, weak voice, or increased heart rate.
Step 3. Compare relationships with this friend and relationships with other friends
Think about your friendships with other people, and how they differ. Maybe you have many friends, but only one you may love. The relationship with him feels more valuable. You may feel a more intense connection.
You can't imagine a day going by without talking to him. For a casual friend, you might be okay if you don't see each other for a week or two. However, with loved ones, one day feels forever
Method 2 of 3: Deciding What You Want
Step 1. Decide if you want a romantic relationship
Love and friendship can be distinguished by thinking about the attention you give them. When you love someone, you think about them a lot and want to keep in touch with them. You won't think about your friends that often, and you won't feel so much urge to chat with ordinary friends.
- You might think of a friend when something reminds you of him or her, like a song you like or a similar experience.
- When you love someone, they will be on your mind all day long, whether you remind them or not. Maybe you also fantasize about him without realizing it.
Step 2. Know how much attention you want
Are you happy with the way he treats you? If he only shakes hands when you meet him, you may want a more intimate greeting. Maybe you want him to text more often. Not hearing from a friend all day is certainly not as disappointing as not hearing from a loved one.
If you're overjoyed when he calls or you feel a tingle in your stomach when his name appears on your phone, it may be a sign that you want a romantic relationship
Step 3. Talk to other friends or family members
You may not be able to be objective with yourself. So, try talking to a trusted person, such as a close friend or relative. They can judge your special friend's attitude from an outsider's point of view, and give an opinion on whether the relationship is just friendship or has become love.
For example, a friend or relative may notice that this special person is looking at you when you're not paying attention. They'll also notice that he talks about you a lot, and that's a sign that he also sees you as more than just a friend
Step 4. Meditate on your feelings
Understanding emotions is not easy, and sometimes requires a lot of reflection. To help decide, think carefully about how you feel.
Make a list to record your feelings for the week. Write down how you feel when you talk to him or think about him. For example, write that you are excited when he calls or nervous when you go out with him
Step 5. Write down your feelings in a diary
Take a few minutes each day to write about your interactions with those around you. This will help you see if you are different to him when you are compared to other friends. Through this writing, you can also realize whether he treats you as a friend or a lover.
Try to reflect on a specific situation. For example, think of a time when you saw him chatting with someone else and reflect on how you felt at that moment. Are you jealous? Are you not affected at all?
Method 3 of 3: Going Further
Step 1. Gather confidence
Maybe you are very nervous about trying to turn a friendship into a love affair. That's normal. However, try to be confident. Confidence can help you find the right words to say and figure out how to get them.
Encourage yourself. Try saying, “I'm a fun and caring person. Doni is lucky to have me.”
Step 2. Launch a little seduction
You can test the waves by flirting with them a little. Start by looking into his eyes for a second longer than usual. You can also pay more attention. If you're with another friend, focus on your chat with them.
Touch him casually. Hold her hand when laughing together
Step 3. Change your language
Friends tend to use casual language with each other. For example, using nicknames such as “buddy”, “bro”, or “ma'am”. If you use a term like that, stop it. Casual nicknames are usually used between friends. Try to say his name specifically.
Step 4. Take him out
Take the direct route and ask him out on a date. You never know if it's possible to be together if you don't try. So choose to be honest and open. Show that you want to be alone.
You can say, “I want to go out with just the two of you. Would you like to have dinner tomorrow Sunday?”
Step 5. Accept the response
If he doesn't feel the same way, you're definitely hurt. You may feel rejected and sad. Try to understand that he may not want to hurt your feelings, but he has to be honest. Don't make him feel guilty. If you don't know what to say, try these suggestions:
- "Thank you for being honest with me. I hope you feel the same way, but I know your feelings can't be changed like turning your palms."
- "I appreciate your honesty. I still want to be friends, but I hope you know that I need some time to get over these feelings.”
