Since you are on this page, you want to live a life completely dedicated to prayer and being spiritual or you are tired of looking at food photos on Facebook and watching governments destroy themselves. Either way, the finer points about being a hermit remain the same. Are you ready to live a near-alone, sustainable and independent life? Want to find out?
Step
Part 1 of 3: Finding What's Right for You
Step 1. Consider why you want to become a hermit
What are you trying to avoid or create? If you don't have a clear goal, becoming a hermit will only be a temporary phase. Is this a way of temporary rebellion? Is this to avoid a person or people in general? Is this some kind of long "time out" for you? Do you feel a spiritual calling to become a hermit? What are your personal reasons?
What are the advantages of not hanging out with people or the simplicity of this lifestyle that attracts you? Does this seem to be just a temporary phase or something that has been in the back of your mind for years? Is this a symptom of a bigger problem? Or is this the only possible solution?
Step 2. Decide how deep you want to be ascetic
Being a hermit doesn't mean that you lock yourself in the house. Many ascetics communicate with the outside world or even live with other people. More than half of hermits live in urban areas. Knowing that there is a spectrum in being a hermit, where do you stand?
In today's world, it's hard to be completely independent. Do you want to build your own house, grow your own food, and dig your own well system? Or do you prefer to stay in your apartment and order Chinese take-out? Both are their respective versions of the ascetic life
Step 3. Define your home
In a spirit of solitude, it is probably best to choose somewhere hidden, small, and simple. It's even better if the place is eco-friendly. The more rural and remote, the better. But if you happen to have a place in midtown Manhattan, that's okay too (just install soundproof windows).
As for furniture, ascetics generally want a simple life. Some have cable TV, computers, and are plugged in, while others spend hours praying, gardening, and completely disconnected from the outside world. If you're planning on becoming a hermit to distance yourself from the evil and ugliness of society, you may want to sort through your belongings and throw the chaos out of the world around you
Step 4. Think about how you will disappear from the map
Do you want to just disappear? One day, just waking up in bed, looking at the door, and knowing that you'll never leave the knitted ends of your Berber rug again? Or will you slowly limit yourself, asking for more "me" time as the days go by? What's more…how are you going to tell people?
How can you become a recluse without worrying your family? Well, in short, you can't. They won't be happy about you refusing to live life the way "normal" people do. If this is your concern, at first, reduce their anxiety by explaining your situation and reasons. Hopefully, they will understand. And, if you want, tell them that you will keep in touch with them. Just because you are a hermit doesn't mean they will never see you again
Step 5. Consider your mental health
If you don't want to see humans again forever (which is not what most recluses do), you may have some form of avoidant personality disorder, PTSD ("post traumatic stress disorder"), or another undiagnosed mental illness.. The two disorders, for example, can make you feel a strong urge to avoid people (as well as SAD ("Social Anxiety Disorder"), but it's not that bad). Is this possible?
See a therapist if you are considering cutting off communication entirely. It will let friends and family breathe easier, and you owe it to yourself to make sure you don't self-medicate a mental illness
Part 2 of 3: Preparation
Step 1. Prepare funds
Unless you work from home and somehow manage to land a job that doesn't provide you with extreme cognitive dissonance regarding your lifestyle, you probably won't have a large and constant stream of income. And you will most likely still need money to survive! You will need a lot less money, but you will still need money. Where will the money come from?
You're still there. You may still have to pay taxes, and your bank debt won't just go away. You'll also need food, electricity (perhaps?), water (definitely), and whatever the minimum basic needs you'll need. You can try to grow a garden with just your two hands and the blessings of the rain, but it will be a challenge
Step 2. Prepare supplies of the things you will need
Since you're going to be staying for, well, forever, stock up on whatever supplies you'll need. Then, ideally, you could go out once a month for eggs and bread, or once a year go to the local grocery store for powdered milk, spices, etc. Today's supermarkets provide delivery service to your home, but that's just a job you'd rather avoid.
Think about what to bring if you had to go on a week-long vacation to a third world country. Razor? Shampoo? Deodorant? Toothpaste? Book? Battery? Granola? The idea here is to stock up so much that all your needs are met within your humble abode
Step 3. Disconnect
Alright, now is the moment you've been waiting for. Deactivate your Facebook account, write a 140-character goodbye on your Twitter, spend the last 5 seconds on snapchat, save your phone, grind your laptop with a lawnmower, and enjoy. Finished. You are now just a memory on the internet. Safe.
All right, so you can have a phone. After all, you'll need it to order pizza. And you can have cable TV and internet if you want, but you won't really reap the spiritual benefits of being a hermit if you stay connected. So, no, the ascetic community won't isolate you (that's an idea), but you won't be living up to your solitude potential
Step 4. Make your environment sustainable
Since you will mostly be depending on yourself, make sure to have everything you need. Garden! Build an outdoor toilet! Buy a bike! Stock up on oil lamps! If it lasts long, that's great.
Again, this part is up to you. But the longer your environment lasts, the more you can enjoy your ascetic life. The years will pass and you won't even know it. What do you need to create the life you want to live?
Step 5. Develop abilities
You know all the time that will be available to you to think about your life and existence? You will need to spend it! So grab a paint brush now (the one you made from your own twigs and hair) and start painting. Learn how to use the Bo Stick. Master the basics of speaking a foreign language. Write a journal. Study the plants in your backyard. Learn how to garden. How to sew. The list is practically endless.
If not, at least master the skills that make your ascetic life easier. This means sewing, cooking, gardening, killing spiders, being able to repair a house, etc. Being a hermit is much easier when living independently is not a problem. You can do the laundry, right?
Step 6. Like yourself
you know why? Because you really are the only one who will be 23, 99/7. Dislike yourself, and that makes a bad friend. Bad friends who never leave. It's possible to drive yourself crazy, which is the end situation you'll most likely want to avoid. Dislike yourself, and it can happen.
Becoming a hermit, for most ascetics, is not just a three-month period. It is a life choice that offers a lot of happiness. This is usually done in the second half of life, but it can be done by anyone at any time. So, before you start isolating yourself from everyone but yourself, make sure you're friends with "yourself."
Step 7. Get a hermit helper
It's like a personal assistant, but more alliterative. Sometimes you'll need someone to deliver groceries to your home, to help you deal with a clogged toilet, to deliver an emergency mouse killer, or to help if you fall and break your leg. This is just common sense. Make sure you have a liaison with the outside world -- you may end up needing it the most.
You don't have to meet them if you don't want to, but you should be able to contact them. In general, the phone will be the easiest way. If this goes against your principles, that's understandable; However, owning a phone is not the same as using it. Have a phone in case of an emergency. And, yes, it could be landlines too. They still have that type of phone
Part 3 of 3: Making Profits and Making Sacrifices
Step 1. Use your time well
Now that you're out of work, not meeting other people's responsibilities, and not worrying about how your hair looks, what are you going to do with your time?! If you are like most recluses, you will spend a lot of time meditating, praying, and enjoying the simple things in life. It is time!
- You will probably have more time than you even realize. You'll wake up when you want, sleep when you want, and fall into a natural cycle of productivity. Find the best times for you to sleep, eat and exercise. Now that your schedule is completely yours, you have no reason to maximize your productivity.
- Use this to develop all the skills you'd like to master during your little free time. Juggles ! Plant roses! Make bread from scratch! So many wikiHow articles for you to look at!
Step 2. Dress modestly
You're not a very good recluse if you hang around your house wearing a pair of Manolo Blahniks all day every day. You are technically a recluse, but the idea of the ascetic lifestyle is to live a minimalist life, away from excessive desires and luxuries. You don't have to make your own clothes if you don't want to, but limit your clothes to just the basics.
If Ke$ha can look good in trashy style, you can look good in ascetic style too. Again with the suitcase metaphor: choose one or two pieces of clothing for every possible situation you might find yourself in. That's all you need! By the time your clothes are shabby, well, by then, you'll have learned how to sew. Hey, what a nice transition to the next step
Step 3. Watch for feelings of loneliness
When was the last time you went a day without even seeing another human being? Yes, the world sucks, these people are evil, and the human race has long been unwelcome, but that doesn't mean feelings of loneliness won't come. When the feeling comes, how will you handle it?
- Many recluses have a very small network of people with whom they are comfortable keeping in touch. You can, practically speaking, have a person or two who can ward off feelings of loneliness when they are present. Make this arrangement a part of your life! It's much harder to make friends once you're definitely on your ascetic path.
- Here is another problem: celibacy. You're not going to satisfy your cravings anytime soon. Like, forever. Are you okay with that?
Step 4. Connect with other hermits
Crazy, right? But it happened. They even have their own newspaper. Everyone needs someone who understands their trials and difficulties. It's not something you do face-to-face or even routine, but reading flyers is sure to be a consolation in social life, which otherwise would be bleak.
Having a few friends by your side does not negate your ascetic status. If J. D. Salinger has to cross the bridge into town to pick up the letters, so you can too. People are a necessity in life. It's like dieting -- if you shut yourself down completely, you're going to fail. Allow yourself to taste (that is, in a non-cannibalistic sense)
Step 5. Know that the world may offer you a reputation
When the local kids start peeking into your house, leaving gifts in the tree holes, don't worry, the locals have started talking. Word spreads that there is a hermit living in your residence and, lo and behold, it is you. It doesn't have to affect you if you don't let it, but if you want to revisit the world it will be a challenge. Are you ready for it?
If you're looking to get a job or even make friends, there may be a number of valid rejections waiting for you. Hermits are simply "incomprehensible" in today's world. Why would someone want to leave the comforts of modern life?! "Once you leave the house, you can never come back again," is the phrase to remember here. Is being a hermit worth doing? Possible
Tips
- There's no need to never go out. You are trying to be a hermit, not a dead and buried corpse! The original hermits of old spent a lot of time outdoors and occasionally had visitors. It's a good thing to see the sun once in a while, and maybe some people too.
- Be prepared to tell people exactly why you chose to become a hermit. The calmer and more reasonable you are about it, the more people will understand not to bother you.
Warning
- Do not, under any circumstances, indulge in your ascetic life.
- People might get a little anxious. Be firm but calm.
