Have you ever had the experience of talking to someone or trying to talk to someone and you wondered if that person would talk to you or not? There are many reasons why someone might not want to talk to you, ranging from being too tired, not liking you, or you interrupting private conversations. In some cases, it is not easy to know whether someone wants to talk to you or not. By reading body language and noticing patterns of language, you can tell if someone is willing to talk to you and ask permission to leave the interaction.
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Part 1 of 3: Reading Body Language and Language Patterns
Step 1. Look at the language
If you interact with him using text messages or social media sites, you can't use his body language to tell. By watching their responses and seeing how long they take to respond, you can tell if the person wants to talk to you or not.
- Look for "read" indications on sites like Facebook, Instagram or Whatsapp. If he takes a long time to respond to your message, or if he doesn't respond at all even after reading it, he's likely not wanting to talk to you.
- Try to see if the person goes offline immediately when you send a message.
- Take a look at the person's response. If he only responds with short "yes," "ok" or something like this answer, he's most likely not interested in the conversation or doesn't want to talk to you.
Step 2. Pay attention to the tone of his voice
The tone of your voice when you speak can give you a clue about how you feel. Paying attention to his tone of voice can help you determine if he's really listening and if you should end the conversation on a good note. Take a look at the things below:
- Does he sound annoyed when you say something?
- Does he look tired, sluggish, or bored when responding?
- Does he sound happy or excited about your interaction with him?
- Does it seem like he's questioning everything you say?
Step 3. Find out who is leading the conversation
If you feel like this person doesn't want to talk to you, find out who is leading the conversation. It also gives you an indication of whether the person you are talking to is no longer listening and you should stop talking.
- Notice if your voice is heard more often than the person you're talking to, which could be a sign that he or she is no longer interested in the conversation.
- Hold yourself back and see if this person starts to talk more or not. This could be an indication that he really wants to talk but that you dominate the conversation too much.
- Find out if you are integrated into the conversation if there are more than two people involved. If not, try saying something and see how other participants respond.
Step 4. Listen to the response
The way someone responds to your questions and statements can let you know whether or not they want to talk to you. Here are some types of responses that give an indication of whether someone is bored with the conversation or doesn't want to talk to you:
- Use lazy-sounding responses such as "oh, yeah?", "That's right," or "yes, yes."
- Respond with the words you use. For example, if you say "it's cold today, isn't it?", he replies, "Yes, it's cold."
- Ignoring questions or statements.
- Answering in one word or in a closed statement includes a short "no" or "yes" answer. Using gestures such as a nod of the head can also indicate that the person doesn't want to talk.
Step 5. Pay attention to eye contact
There is a saying that the eyes are the window to one's soul. By watching people's eyes during a conversation, you can tell if they want to talk to you or not. The following hints indicate when the person doesn't want to talk:
- Looking at the floor
- His gaze is directed around the room
- Pay attention to the clock.
- His eyes looked sleepy.
Step 6. Pay attention to body position
A person's eyes can tell you how interested someone is in the conversation, as can posture. Try to see how his body position to see if he is interested in talking to you or not.
- Notice if the person imitates your posture and turns their body towards yours. If not, chances are he's no longer interested in talking to you.
- Try to see if the person is facing you or not. If not, it's likely that he wants to get out of the conversation.
- Try to see if his feet are pointing towards you or not which can also indicate whether he is interested in the conversation or not.
- Pay attention to the distance between you and him. If his body isn't close to yours, chances are he doesn't want to talk.
Step 7. Pay attention to body language
Body language is a great sign to show someone's feelings for you or an ongoing conversation. Some examples of body language that can indicate someone doesn't want to talk to you are:
- Stiff or immobile body
- Shoulders tense and raised
- Cross your arms in front of your chest
- Touching the neck or collar
- His hands or feet move or are busy scribbling.
- Evaporate.
Part 2 of 3: Asking Permission to Say Goodbye
Step 1. Don't panic or get angry
Some people just don't feel like talking, they may be busy, or have something in their personal life that is occupying their minds. Try not to panic and get angry with this person. Try to be understanding and try to politely ask permission to leave the conversation. This can help you and her not to continue the conversation strangely.
Try your best not to show your emotions to this person
Step 2. Use a common excuse
There are many reasons you can use to end a conversation, such as having to go to the restroom or take a phone call. If you notice that the other person is starting to seem disinterested, use an excuse to end the conversation while the conversation is still going on in a positive light. You could say that:
- You want to pick up some more snacks at the bar
- You have to answer an important phone call or call
- You have to use the restroom
- You're feeling a little unwell and need some fresh air
Step 3. Look for natural transitions in speech
If something naturally interrupts the conversation, use it to excuse yourself from the conversation. This helps you end the conversation on a positive note.
- Look for something in the room that makes you "realize" something. For example, say "Wow, it's getting late. I have to go home to be with my daughter before going to bed," after you look at the clock on the wall or on your hand.
- See if someone else can join the conversation so you can excuse yourself from this conversation.
- Wait for a pause in the conversation and use this void to get out of it. For example, you could say, "I really like chatting with you, but I have to go because I have a meeting in the morning."
Step 4. Show you value this person's time
You can excuse an unproductive conversation by showing that you value this person. Use strategic statements like "I don't want to monopolize your time" to end the conversation.
- Say things like "I think you want to talk to other people too, so I better go."
- Remember to keep your tone of voice and body language as real as possible.
- Don't overuse this tactic as it can make you appear dishonest.
Step 5. Ask for his business card or contact
Asking for information on how to contact this person indicates that this conversation is about to end. Find a good way to say you enjoyed this conversation and would like to contact him again for more information.
- Ask specific questions about this person's business, college major, or interests. Use questions like these to lead you to the question "I want to know more about that. Do you have a business card or contact so I can contact you for more information?"
- Be sure to look at the information he gives you to show you respect him.
- Offer to help this person. You could say "I really enjoy chatting with you and knowing about your work. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help you."
- Use this tactic with someone you don't really know.
Step 6. Bring the conversation back to square one
If you notice that the person doesn't want to talk to you anymore, find a way to end the conversation by bringing him back to square one. Make sure you repeat what you've learned from him and thank him for taking the time.
Keep this transition as natural as possible. Ask questions related to the topic of conversation to end it
Step 7. Thank him for taking the time
Even if you know this person doesn't want to talk to you anymore and maybe he's being rude, try to be generous and keep things positive. Make sure this person knows that you're enjoying the conversation, even if you're not, and thank you for taking the time.
- Say something like "Sorry, but I have to go. I really enjoyed this conversation, Didi, and thanks for the helpful advice."
- Don't forget to mention his name in your last sentence to show that you respect and remember him.
- Remember to keep the atmosphere positive with the statement "you can catch more bees if you use honey instead of vinegar."
Part 3 of 3: Following Up the Conversation
Step 1. Remember that everyone has a bad day
If you're still not sure if the person really doesn't want to talk to you, remember that everyone has bad days. This can help you take the first step in following up the conversation by knowing if he's actually having a bad day or really doesn't want to talk to you.
Give him a few days after the conversation before you call him again. This time can help her deal with any issues she may be experiencing or recover from being annoyed with you
Step 2. Send a friendly message
Contact the person via text, email, social media, or by calling them. You can also stop by his office or class. This can open the door to new conversations and help you figure out if he really doesn't want to talk to you or has other issues.
- Send short and friendly messages. Emphasize how you enjoyed your last interaction. For example, write something like "I really enjoyed talking to you that time. I hope you're doing well. Maybe you'd be interested in continuing our conversation over coffee?”
- Do not send messages in large quantities and long. The response you receive to this simple message will give you a clue as to how she really feels.
Step 3. Find out how she feels
Try to see how long it takes for him to read and respond to your message and what his response is. This can give you a clue as to whether or not he wants to talk to you.
- Pay attention to when and how they respond. If he simply replies, "Hello, sorry, couldn't see you," he probably doesn't want to talk to you. If his response is kinder and more upbeat, it could be that he was having a bad day the last time you saw each other.
- Lack of response is a sign the person doesn't want to talk to you.
- Don't text again so you don't piss him off, which could end up pissing you off too.
Step 4. Keep your distance
If his lackluster response or passivity in contacting you makes you realize he doesn't want to talk to you, stay away from that person. Not only can this upset you and him, but it can also lead to other problems such as damage to your reputation.
- Don't message her again, and don't be tempted to unfriend or follow her on social media again. This can show that you understand that he doesn't want to talk to you anymore.
- Allow the person to contact you if you wish and decide how you respond. Maybe you can give him a second chance. Being nice to other people doesn't hurt, even if that person isn't always nice to you.
