You have loved someone long enough, but were rejected. Whether he said it or not, it still hurt. You feel tired of being rejected and love this person so much that you don't know how to move on with life. But, frankly, you deserve better. You are strong and can find someone who will respect you for who you are while loving all your quirks. If you want to get over someone who doesn't like you, keep reading to find out how!
Step
Method 1 of 3: Taking Time for Self-Reflection
Step 1. Cry
Let out a lot of tears. Instead of holding back your feelings, crying will release all your emotions. This is called "catharsis." Research shows that crying can relieve stress and actually make you healthier.
- Think of the situation like this. Suppose you fill a bathtub with water and your phone rings. You think “it takes a long time to fill the tub. So, I'll talk for a while on the phone and come right back." You talk on the phone for 10 minutes and forget the running water tap in the bathroom. By the time you finished talking on the phone and went into the bathroom, the water was already running out and soaking the floor. You run to turn off the faucet, but it's too late. That's what it feels like if you don't cry. Eventually, you will dissolve and sink into your emotions.
- The best thing to do is to let all your emotions out. Don't be afraid to cry. If you feel more comfortable doing it yourself, ask for a minute to go to the bathroom or to your own room. Find a good place to cry. Depending on how attached you are to this person, you may end up going to a special place just to cry.
Step 2. Think of all the bad things related to your loved one
You may think that this person has no flaws and that he or she is a perfect person, but this may not be true. This old adage is true: no one is perfect. Try making a list of what you don't like about this person and what they lack. The more you discover things you don't like about this person, the easier it will be to convince your heart that he is the wrong person for you.
- Maybe he was rude to your best friend or had bad friends. Maybe he is always putting you down and destroying your confidence. Maybe he has trouble telling the truth or says he will do something but never does. Whatever it is, write it down. And when those old feelings of love return to your heart, read the list.
- Then, try to think about the negative feelings you feel when you're around him. Negative feelings are a different thing with bad qualities: negative feelings are about how you feel that he has generated and not what he has done. Do you feel that your relationship with your family is disrupted because your parents feel that this person is not the right fit for you? Does it make you feel insecure about your decision? Does the person often look down on you? These are some things you can consider.
Step 3. Imagine the negative consequences of your interaction with this person
There may not be many negative consequences when you are close to this person. However, there may be negative consequences you can think of if you try:
- Does it cause feelings of unhealthy attachment to the past?
- Is he manipulating you to get what he wants?
- Does he keep you from pursuing your dreams so he can pursue his?
- Does he make you believe that you should spend your time only with him, not with your friends or family?
- Does it teach you how to manage stress poorly or solve problems by directly arguing with you or playing games with you?
Method 2 of 3: Start Moving On
Step 1. Get rid of everything that makes you remember him until you completely forget him
This means you don't go places you've been with him, throw away old photos, and possibly delete his contact information from your phone or delete him from your Facebook. This may not sound good, but you need to understand that you “have to” move on with your life.
- This is the parable. If you stop at a red light and suddenly the light turns green, other people are moving on with their lives and you are just silent. In the end, you will be hit by another car or fined for standing still in the middle of the road. You can move, but it takes effort to step on your gas pedal. Go ahead. Do not let you be the person who was silent at a red light for a long time.
- If you see him on your Facebook home page or see his name on your phone, it will bring back old memories to you, or make you tempted to contact him. Delete all of this.
- If you have kept his possessions, now might be a good time to return them to him if they hold memories or are important to him. If you don't want to see him, you can ask your friend to drop him off, or you can send him in the mail.
- Getting rid of items that remind you of him is a "different" thing than destroying those items. It's not a good idea to burn all of his belongings. It is recommended that you collect them and then send them out, not destroy them. Forget the memories temporarily, not immediately.
Step 2. Go on a short vacation
You can stay for just one night if you want (like a midnight slumber party) or you can take an all-you-can-eat vacation, going to an exotic destination. Either way, you deserve it. You've put a lot of effort into this, other things, and relationships. So, you deserve to rest.
Traveling doesn't mean you have to go far away. The reality is, you can still vacation in your own city. The trick is to convince your mind to relax and think that you are in a very strange place. So go meet the locals, head to a museum you've never been to, and soak it all in
Step 3. Get your mind off him
Try hanging out with your friends, joining a club (example: drama club, creative writing or book club, online club, etc.). These things can be very helpful. Do whatever it takes to forget him. Write lyrics to a song or story, do homework, hang out with your friends at the mall, watch a movie at the cinema; all of these things can make you successful. Make sure you don't think about him and there will be no reason for you to meet or think about him.
- For example, if he works at the mall and your friends want to go there, don't go. Stay at home and do something else. The bottom line is: you need to move on with life, and for most people who are in love, when they look back on their loved one or when they begin to reconnect with their loved one, old feelings resurface. So make sure you don't see him at all.
- Try to find a new hobby that interests you, such as art, music, writing, books, dancing, etc. You can do two great things at once when you're trying to get on with your life, like losing weight, studying or doing homework, practicing speech or acting, or making money.
Method 3 of 3: Forgetting Him As Soon As Possible
Step 1. When you're ready, try to love someone new
You can find this person in a bookstore or coffee shop, online, or on the road. Never lose hope over where you will find your true love. Of course, your relationship with the person you used to love didn't work out (so there's nothing wrong with looking for a new one). Otherwise, you wouldn't be reading this article right now. If your relationship with him doesn't work out, then that's destiny.
Everything happens for a reason. Know that better things are ahead of you, and be happy that your love story will take place in the future, not in the past. Motivate yourself for the future and never give up on your search for true love, because the right match for you may be out there
Step 2. When looking for that special someone, remember to learn from your past relationship mistakes
You may start looking for someone new, which means opening yourself up to different situations and people. Throughout this process, remember to learn from past relationship mistakes, not make the same mistakes again. With that said, hopefully you only need to move on with your life once and forget about your old relationship. Good luck!
- For example, if you are in a manipulative relationship with someone, look for clues as to whether your next relationship will be a manipulative one. Avoid people who make you feel bad because you didn't grant their request. Avoid people who never admit they were wrong.
- You may be attracted to someone's pitfalls and actively seek them out in a new partner. But that's simply because that person isn't giving you a healthy, active, and respectful relationship. As you enter into a healthy, active, and respectful relationship, you will begin to realize that the things you "think" you need in a relationship are, in fact, the things that keep you from full happiness.
Step 3. Put in your mindset that the past is a good thing that happened, but that things have to come to an end sometimes
Be happy with the memories you spent with him. There may be some good lessons you learned. Don't expect the memories to never happen – hope you can move on with your life. Sometimes, moving on with life can be fun. You just have to look at the positives that this experience has taught you.
Step 4. Get rid of false hope
In your heart you will think “I can make him love me. Maybe he didn't mean it that way, he was just embarrassed. Maybe one day everything will be okay, “No. Get rid of it all. To move on with life, you need to know that "now" there is no hope between you and him. If he rejects you, he may be serious, and holding on to false hopes won't help you at all. Know that if he really wants you, he will come back to you.
If he doesn't come back to you, you have to move on with life and get rid of any false hope between you and him. You can't make someone love you, and if you think about it, you need to get rid of that thought. Everyone does this – you think it will make you better. But in reality, it will only make the situation worse because you are not moving on with life
Tips
- Remember that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you and if he can't accept you for who you are, then he doesn't deserve you! Rude, but it's true. You deserve someone who really cares about you.
- If needed, limit all or most of your relationship with him.
- Concentrate on what really matters. Don't be too obsessed with him. There will always be someone else who is better. Remember it.
- Sometimes you can think that your life would be better off without him, no matter who he is. Don't spend too much time on someone or you will confuse yourself with what love means and you will only hurt yourself. Happiness, good looks/beauty, sexiness, etc. These things are not love, but only added value.
- Know that there are still many people out there, and no matter how much you love someone, time will heal all your wounds.
- Concentrate on breaking the manipulation loop. Hear the warnings of your inner voice. Your first reaction is usually the correct one.
- If he does something that instantly upsets you, then he probably isn't the right person for you.
- Concentrate on what really matters, don't become too obsessed.
- When you're looking for someone else to love, don't limit yourself to one type of person. Do a little experiment. If your expectations or needs are too high, it will be very difficult for you to satisfy yourself. Don't expect the person you love to be the same as the person you used to love, because chances are they won't be the same. Don't look for someone who looks like your old lover. Don't just look for someone who has a lot of muscle or can cook or sing. This will help you find “true love.”
- If someone has really let you down or you have a fight with him for anything, then it may be time to break up.
