Getting a girl to like you when it looks like she doesn't want to date is hard, but not impossible. If you hear a girl say "I'm not ready to date yet," she may mean that she just broke up, or that she hasn't won another guy's heart. If you like a girl who doesn't want to date, start a chat with her or invite her out with a group of friends. The best way to get a girl to like you is to respect her, be a good friend, and be patient.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Approaching the Girl You Like
Step 1. Consider why you want the girl to like you
Ask yourself why you are attracted to him. For example, he may sense that your attraction is really only physical or superficial, so he stays away from you. If that is the only attention she gets from a man, she may feel disappointed and unappreciated. Before approaching him, step back and determine what you want in a relationship. Then, ask yourself if he is suitable as a lover based on the qualities below:
- Integrity: He must be honest with himself and others, must be trustworthy and reliable. Can you be honest with each other about your thoughts and fears?
- Emotional maturity and self-confidence: no one is perfect, but the desire to look in the mirror and learn from the past (and show what you've learned) is a key feature of mature people. Emotionally immature girls are girls who depend on others for their confidence and happiness, and they also let their emotions control their actions.
- Supportive and committed to self-improvement: he has his own interests and continues to pursue them. He also has a positive attitude towards life (even when faced with difficult situations), and he has good relationships with his family and friends, and encourages others around him to do the same. However, someone who constantly puts their own interests first and is overly competitive or judgmental will not make a good partner.
Step 2. Make yourself attractive in the eyes of women
One way to get a girl to notice you is to make yourself look attractive, both in appearance and in action. By making a few changes, you can not only make yourself look attractive in the eyes of women, but also increase your confidence. Often it's the little things that make you stand out, like keeping yourself clean and doing nice things to other people (even if they're not around).
- Spruce up your appearance: this step shows that you respect yourself and take good care of him. Make sure to wear clean, wrinkle-free clothes, shower every day, comb your hair, and shave your beard or keep it from growing too thick.
- Keep your mouth clean by brushing your teeth twice a day and avoiding foods that can cause bad breath (such as coffee and garlic). Don't use too much perfume or body spray - instead, use a post-shave lotion or deodorant.
- Be calm and confident: don't let your fear of rejection overpower your desire to have a chat with him, even if he doesn't seem interested in you. Girls don't like being around or interacting with guys who aren't confident. In addition, girls find easygoing guys more attractive and fun to hang out with.
Step 3. Have a chat with the girl you have a crush on, even if she doesn't seem interested
Let him know you're there by talking to him and building a friendly relationship with him. Introduce yourself in a way that shows you like it without appearing too pushy or aggressive. Ask him a question or a topic you both share a passion for, such as: “hey, I just watched (TV show name). Who is your favorite character? What season do you like the most? Make comments about the weather, school, or the food you're eating. Lighten the mood by asking for help, such as working on a project or homework. Don't talk about politics, religion, past relationships, or traumatic events.
- Get his attention by making eye contact and smiling while talking. Don't speak too fast or in a high pitched voice-this will make you look nervous.
- If you walk beside him, slow your pace. This will make you appear relaxed and more approachable-both are good qualities a friend or lover can have.
- Remember to respect it. Respect her decision to stay alone. Let him go without questioning his decision. It's important to realize that some people just aren't in love.
Step 4. Don't send her signals that could mislead her about how you feel
This “misguidance” can occur when there is a discrepancy between how the other person understands the intent of your action and how you intend to perform the action. One of the reasons he's not interested in dating you may be that you're sending out vague signals. For example, you're always bragging that you're dating or having a crush on other girls, or you're often ignoring your friends.
- Talk about yourself without being overbearing. Mention an accomplishment you are proud of, or a goal you have and how you achieved it. For example: "The English assignment or math test was really difficult, but my efforts to study last night paid off" or "My months of training paid off in yesterday's half-marathon, maybe I'll run a full marathon next year".
- Be honest and open about your feelings. One message that has mixed meanings will make you appear cold or pessimistic. Make it a goal to say one positive thing about someone each day.
Step 5. Be a good friend
If he really doesn't want to date, or something in his life (family, school, work, health issues, etc.) is preventing him from dating, don't force him. The only good way out is to become his best friend and confidant. You have to be supportive, but not domineering. This is very important when he is facing personal problems, such as death or someone in his family is sick.
- Keep your distance and respect the privacy. Don't try to fix the problem or keep giving advice. Just let him know that you are by his side and ready to hear his story.
- Be a good listener. Don't jump into opinions and fight the urge to fix things. Let him talk and finally have a solution to his own problems.
- Make plans with your other friends and include them. Offer to pick her up or pay for something. A little kindness, as long as there are no ties, can make your friendship last.
Method 2 of 3: Ask Her On a Date
Step 1. Get to know him more in a relaxed atmosphere
If you are already friends and want to continue the relationship, skip this step. However, if you've just met or are just casual acquaintances, spend time with him in a group or ask him out on a date indirectly. This step may require you to come up with an opening sentence that can start a conversation. Start with a pre-opening: whenever you see him, make eye contact, smile, and say “hi”. Then, start a general conversation. Compliment his accomplishments, or ask about his interests (music, movies, books, hobbies, etc.). Use this conversation as a starting point to develop a closer relationship based on common interests or goals.
- Be patient. Some girls will be more open about themselves and more chatty, while others may be more shy or hesitant at first.
- Never use "crazy" seduction. This seduction not only makes a bad impression, but can also make him feel offended.
Step 2. Ask him out on a date
You can be direct and ask her out on a date, or you can use indirect methods like asking what she's up to for the weekend and whether or not she has any plans. The method you choose will depend on the situation and his personality. Other examples of indirectly asking him out include: asking if he has been to a particular restaurant and if he would like to visit it with you; or express it as an opportunity, such as "we're both doing nothing this week and the weather is nice too, so why don't we play together?". Remember, at this stage you're just asking her out (like to the movies, concerts, dinner, etc.), not asking her out.
- Explain that you just want to play with him. Don't talk about romantic relationships or ask her out.
- Don't corner him or make him feel trapped (physically) when asking him out. He may refuse because he feels uncomfortable or intimidated.
- If he seems reluctant to date you, ask him to do something with a group of friends. Plan a picnic or go out to dinner and a movie with some friends.
Step 3. Make a good impression on the first date
On your first date (or the first time the two of you go out for a walk), your goal is to make sure he's having fun, expresses your feelings clearly but not overly, and doesn't try to do anything too fancy or romantic. Go out with other friends or do something in a public place instead of asking him to spend time alone with you. Decide what the two of you will be doing and where you'll be dating. Do your job-ask if he has any favorite foods, make reservations if necessary, and avoid fancy and expensive places.
- Try to look cool-wash and comb your hair, brush your teeth and don't wear too much perfume, and wear clean and tidy clothes.
- Don't drink too much alcohol, be considerate, and have a good attitude. This includes not dominating the conversation, turning off the phone, giving him his full attention, and being kind to others.
- Avoid talking about controversial topics, such as politics, past relationships, work-related complaints, or sex. Instead, focus on interesting topics such as the news (and his opinion on current affairs), family, travel (about places you have visited or would like to visit in the future), or your thoughts on love and what it can bring. build a good love relationship.
Method 3 of 3: Get Him to Like You
Step 1. Be a better friend to himself and his friends
Friendship is the foundation of a good relationship. The first step to being a good friend is paying attention to what he and his friends have to say. Don't just talk about yourself and your interests. Give him your full attention by not looking bored or distracted. Keep your cell phone and make eye contact while you talk. While being a good friend can backfire on you and put you in the “friend zone”, it can also show that you are a kind, loving, and committed person.
Step 2. Make jokes and tease each other
When done affectionately, small teases can be a hidden way to show that you're interested in them. For example, come up with a funny story about traveling to another country or pretending your house is haunted. Lightly mock his musical tastes, or odd foods he enjoys, then follow up with compliments.
- Other examples are tickling them, covering someone's eyes with their hands and saying “guess who this is”, or poking the back of their arm.
- Show that you're joking by using exaggerated tone or facial expressions, or by smiling.
Step 3. Try to seduce her
When flirting, start with something subtle, like making eye contact, smiling, then looking away. You can also compliment his appearance or act like a gentleman by opening the door, offering to buy him coffee, or bringing him his book. If you both know each other and are comfortable, try brushing the hair off his face, cuddling him, or sitting next to him. If he is interested in you, he will start flirting with you too.
Step 4. Show a high-end attitude
One way to get a girl to dislike you is to be spoiled, follow-up, and desperate. If your relationship is stuck, consider leaving him alone. Start chatting with other girls and show a high-end attitude. By creating "opponents" for him, you make yourself look more attractive.
- Hold your feelings in the early stages of a romantic relationship. Keeping the mystery and uncertainty in mind will make the relationship even more interesting-and perhaps even ignite the flames of romance. For example, don't tell him that you really like him and don't talk about your "future" while you're still friends.
- Leave him alone. While you shouldn't keep her waiting when you have an appointment, don't text or call her every day. If you're not around, he'll realize how much he loves you.
Step 5. Consider keeping the relationship casual
If you like him and he likes you too but is afraid or nervous to commit, decide to maintain a casual relationship. A casual relationship is a romantic relationship that is not “exclusive”. Even if you see each other often, you can both flirt or go on dates with other people. Especially if you're between the ages of 18-24, having an open and casual relationship can help you develop emotionally and become more comfortable interacting with the opposite sex. In a casual relationship, it's important to establish ground rules to reduce the risk someone might get hurt:
- Can I date in public?
- Is it okay if other people know about it, or should the relationship be kept secret?
- What would happen if one fell in love with another? Would you both tell each other this if it happened?
- How often do you two want to see each other? When is the best time to call or text?
- Don't ask condescending or accusatory questions, such as: “how many people have you dated? where are you last night? Why didn't you call me back? Can I add you on Facebook?”
- If you don't agree with the rules above, you may not be cut out for a casual relationship. Tell him how you feel and let him know that you like him, but ask him to be friends if he feels he can't commit to a more serious relationship.
Tips
- Most importantly: appreciate it. Respect her thoughts, feelings, and interests. Know what he likes and doesn't like so you can make yourself stand out as more than just a "guy."
- Someone who doesn't want to date is sometimes someone who has been hurt. Don't force it and don't use the words "relationship" or "getting closer." You need strong friendships before someone who has been hurt can open up.
- Developing your talents, interests, and natural traits will make you look more attractive. Refocus on what makes you more attractive than forcing someone to like you. You might end up with someone even better!
- Know when to give up. Don't waste time on a girl who claims that she's not ready to date. If he doesn't like you, why would you want to win him over? It will only hurt you.
- Respect his decision and his right to say no. You can't force him to like you.
- Be honest about your feelings. If you still don't know how he feels about you after a few dates, try it yourself. Express your feelings in a hidden way. Something that is too over the top or romantic can feel too strong and overwhelming for him.
- Rethink how you do this. Some people are not matched. If he doesn't like you, there's not much you can do to change him.
- If a girl doesn't like you or says she's not ready to date, it could be when she's already in a relationship but wants to keep it a secret. Respect the choice and move on with your life.
- Some girls have other priorities in life, such as education, work, family obligations, religious beliefs, or sports that are more focused than love.
- Don't put your life on hold while trying to date a girl who's "not ready to date." Don't miss the chance to date a great girl just because you're waiting for someone else.
- There are some girls who don't want an exclusive or romantic relationship with you. Being a good friend was enough for him now. Over time, if the two of you stay close, feelings of love will begin to grow in both of your hearts. For now, don't force anything and respect the decision.
- If he decides that he doesn't want to date you, don't take it too seriously. Use that as a lesson, and move on with your life.
Warning
- If he says directly, "I don't want to date now" or "I already have a girlfriend," understand that he doesn't want to date you.
- Never get caught in a situation where you feel manipulated, humiliated, or taken advantage of. A relationship should be mutually beneficial to both parties-if you feel like he's underestimating you or being overly dependent, he probably isn't very interested in you.
- Inappropriate comments, unwanted affectionate touches, or obscene acts are never allowed and can be categorized as sexual harassment.
- Never force a girl to do anything sexual on a date, or harass a girl who is drunk. Rape and harassment while dating are serious criminal cases.
- Respect a woman's right to set boundaries in your relationship, and respect her decision to date someone else.
