When you start a relationship with an attractive girl, there may be doubts that she doesn't like you and just wants to play with you. It's natural to feel anxious when you approach the girl of your dreams, but make sure you don't get involved in a manipulative relationship as this can be very emotionally draining. Also, pay attention to the signals that indicate that you are stuck in an unhealthy relationship.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Heart to Heart Talk
Step 1. Ask you how he feels
While you can find out how your ideal girl is feeling by reading signals, the easiest way is to ask. Don't hesitate to say that you want to make sure he's serious about the relationship because you're not sure yet. Don't ask him this question too often so he doesn't get upset, but there's nothing wrong with asking. Instead of accusing, convey that you still have doubts.
Step 2. Tell him how you feel
You may not agree with confessing your feelings to someone who may be playing tricks on you, but this step can be the best solution. If you really like him and he understands how you feel, he's more likely to answer honestly. If he isn't serious, he may realize that you mean it.
Step 3. Let him know that you doubt his seriousness
Instead of being passive aggressive, convey that his behavior often hurts you. As a person with feelings, he understands that his actions hurt you and stops him if he's not serious. Instead of getting angry when you talk to him, calmly convey that you feel sad when he treats you in a certain way.
Method 2 of 3: Determining Relationship Quality
Step 1. Consider how much he is attracted to you
Does he often ignore you? Does he keep telling you that he likes someone else? This can show that he is not serious about a relationship with you.
- At times, his behavior is influenced by how comfortable he is when he is around people. For example, if he cares and loves you more when you're alone with him, he may not want to act like this in front of other people because he's embarrassed. Don't think badly.
- If she tells another guy, don't immediately take it as a bad sign. Maybe this guy is her best friend. However, if he often tells you that other men (not you) are more attractive, he may not like you.
Step 2. Pay attention to what he has to say about your relationship
Does he deny his relationship with you while chatting with other people including his close friends? If he does this, he may be behaving manipulatively.
Many people prefer to hide their attraction to someone in anticipation of a one-sided applause. However, once the two of you are dating and sharing your feelings for each other, there's nothing he needs to hide from his friends
Step 3. Consider whether or not you feel comfortable during the relationship
A healthy relationship should make you feel physically and mentally comfortable. If you're always worried or afraid that he might suddenly throw a tantrum, it sounds like you're in an unhealthy relationship. Even if it's just a guess, you probably already know the answer.
Step 4. Pay attention to his attitude when interacting with your friends and family members
In a healthy relationship, your lover should show courtesy when meeting people you consider important. If he often criticizes your friends and family members, he may want to keep you away from them. Whether it's done on purpose or not, he is manipulative and negative.
Step 5. Ask friends for advice
If you're always scared, a friend can help you work through your worries and remind you to think logically. They will honestly tell you the cause of the problem you are having and provide support even if they know something is wrong. Friends already know that you are dating a girl who wants to play with you. They're waiting for you to ask so you don't get offended.
Method 3 of 3: Identifying Manipulative Behavior
Step 1. Watch out if he gets angry a lot
You may be suspicious if he likes to sulk when you have a different opinion or say he can't be with him. If he seems disappointed when you refuse his wishes, this is definitely a bad sign. It's normal to be disappointed, but no one should use emotions to manipulate others.
- For example, if he's angry that you didn't buy him a meal or buy him a gift, consider his motivations for being your girlfriend.
- Notice his willingness to repay your kindness. A healthy relationship is characterized by a willingness to sacrifice for the lover. In this case, the sacrifice does not have to cost money. If he's willing to change his plans to support you on something important, this could be a good sign.
Step 2. Beware of jealousy
If he forbids you to be friends with other women because he is worried, reconsider your decision by reflecting. He may express his concern if you socialize with the opposite sex, but he has no right to stop you from hanging out with them. This is manipulative and restraining treatment of others.
Step 3. Be careful if he starts threatening you
Hearing him say he can't live without you may feel good, but it's a threat that manipulates you into staying with him. If he threatens to tell a family member or friend about your behavior unless you comply with his wishes, this could be a sign that you are in an unhealthy relationship. If he says he's going to have fun with friends every night until you tidy up the house, that's also a threat. Observe his behavior with a clear mind because threats can be conveyed so subtly that they are difficult to detect.
Step 4. Don't fall prey to pretenders
You are involved in an unhealthy relationship if you always feel guilty. Watch out if he says, "I'm just bothering you" or if he makes you feel guilty for leaving him alone while you have fun with your friends. Your boyfriend should be supportive, not make you feel guilty.
Step 5. Don't let him use you to get what he wants
If you want to see a movie at the cinema, but he insists on having dinner at your house or he forces you to quit work so you can see him more often, it sounds like he's manipulating you.
Both of you may make reasonable requests to each other. The alarm should ring if he forces you to change plans for trivial reasons or gets angry because you refused his wishes
Tips
- Controlling yourself so you don't obsess is the best attitude when it comes to starting a relationship. Falling in love is great fun, but if the relationship has to end, it can lead to the greatest failure if you rely on it as your only source of happiness in life. Set aside time to enjoy hobbies or fun things and find something to do when you're not with them.
- Don't be disappointed if you find out that he's taking advantage of you or that he doesn't like you. Whatever you're feeling right now, remember that you could meet other girls who are more attractive to you and more suited to you. There are many other girls around you and open your heart to fall in love again.
- Don't break up just because your boyfriend is behaving as described in this article. Explain honestly what is weighing on your mind. Don't be manipulated if it remains unchanged.
