Sometimes, you will accidentally hurt other people. This bad behavior will lead to feelings of guilt and shame, especially if you have hurt someone you care about, such as your parents. The guilt and shame you feel as well as the anger and disappointment of your parents can really hurt your relationship. Getting forgiveness from your parents will improve your relationship and reduce the negative feelings you feel.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Communicating Effectively
Step 1. Listen more than talk
Parents will be able to forgive easily if they feel heard and understood by you. Just being quiet and listening can stop fighting and reduce emotional tension between you.
- Silence when your parents talk to you will disappoint them. You should nod and show the right expression so your parents know they are being listened to and not being ignored.
- Ask questions to clarify and check your understanding. In this way, you show that the words of the parents enter the brain. For example, say "You're angry because you're out at night without asking permission, aren't you?"
Step 2. Communicate the entire message
When it's time to speak, use the message body formula to prevent misunderstandings. Begin your statement with an observation of the facts, usually a description of the behavior. Then, explain what you interpreted from and how you felt about the behavior. After that, it's a good idea to finish with what you want to help the discussion stay focused on solving the problem.
For example, say “I skipped school to go out with my friends. I knew it was wrong, but I was afraid of being ridiculed and humiliated if I didn't come along. Please teach me how to resist and control this situation if it happens again.”
Step 3. Pay attention to your tone of voice
How you feel about your parents can affect your communication. The same sentence can have different meanings if spoken in different tones. Frustration will trigger sarcasm and yelling without you even realizing it. Try to stay objective and focus on getting the message across instead of your emotions.
If your parents comment on your tone of voice, apologize and explain your frustration to clarify your communication
Method 2 of 3: Admit Mistakes
Step 1. Admit your mistakes
You may still feel right, so instead of looking at the problem as a whole, focus on the specific aspects. You may not do anything wrong but not everything you do is completely right. Find your mistakes and fix them. Your parents will be happy to see your maturity to admit your mistakes so they will forgive you more quickly.
Don't argue or deny your misbehavior as it will be seen as childish by your parents and they will take time to forgive you
Step 2. Apologize to your parents and other people you hurt
Showing guilt is very important in obtaining forgiveness from others. When apologizing, admit your wrong behavior, why, and how your behavior affected others. This will show that you understand your mistakes and justify your parents' feelings.
- Try crafting an apology by stating the consequences of your behavior first. That way, they'll know you're very sorry for hurting their feelings. For example, say “Sorry for making you worry and upset by sneaking out at night. My actions are irresponsible and arbitrary. I promise it won't happen again."
- Apologizing should always be done sincerely. An insincere apology may sound sarcastic and make the situation worse.
- If you're having trouble apologizing in person, try writing a letter.
Step 3. Show that you have changed, whenever possible
Try sincerely to atone for your mistakes. Depending on your actions, this may be difficult to do, but trust that your efforts will at least be well received by your parents.
Maybe you can try working or volunteering to provide physical assistance to repair property damage caused by your fault
Method 3 of 3: Be More Responsible
Step 1. Identify ways to better respond to situations in the future
Parents may find it difficult to forgive because they feel you will repeat the mistake. Show that you've learned from your mistakes and devise ways to avoid repeating bad behavior so your parents can forgive you.
If you are confused about choosing the appropriate response, ask your parents. They will appreciate your efforts to change, and have the opportunity to be heard
Step 2. Engage in activities that contradict your wrongdoing
Show your sense of responsibility by getting good grades in school or getting a job. Remind them of your greatness by taking on a leadership role in your school or community. Engage in activities they can be proud of in others to reduce their worries about how you spend your time. Your parents will forgive you more quickly if you can focus on your new achievements instead of past mistakes.
Consider volunteering to help others in your community to make your parents proud. You can find many opportunities to volunteer on the internet
Step 3. Talk about your future goals with your parents
Help them forgive you by shifting past mistakes and focusing on future possibilities. Set goals for 6 months, 2 years, and 5 years from now on and plan actions to achieve them.
- Your 6 month goal should be reasonable. Set goals to improve grades, save money, and/or improve physical and mental health.
- Your 2 and 5 year goals should be complex but attainable. A good example is graduating from college.
Tips
Remember, parents will always love their children. However, they also still have feelings
Warning
- Don't argue about your mistakes, because your apology and attempts to change will appear insincere.
- Aggression and violence are not allowed, no matter how angry you are.
