He may say that he loves you, but how can you be sure? What if he doesn't mean what he says? Even though it's complicated, you can still find out if he loves you or not. You need to watch for different signs, such as the amount of time he spends with you or how much effort he puts into his relationship with you. Keep in mind that every man is different so not all of the tips in this wikiHow will work for your partner.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Observing His Actions
Step 1. Watch how he treats you
If he loves you, he will treat you with respect. This means he will listen to you and care about what's going on in your life. He notices the little things you like and tries to give them to you. He values you as an individual and listens sincerely to your opinion. Things like this show that he genuinely cares about you.
Step 2. Pay attention to how often you question her feelings
If he really loves you, you don't have to question it. In this case, he will make you “feel” or see his love in any way (eg by showing his feelings and telling you).
- On the other hand, you need to make sure that your anxiety doesn't overpower the emotions of someone who truly loves you. In other words, you may feel that he doesn't love you, but that's really just your concern. If your ex has told you that you sometimes get too "sticky" to him, his words are a sign that you have anxiety or doubts. You may also feel like you have to be a very good person to win her love or try to meet all of her needs all the time, without thinking about your own.
- One way to combat this type of anxiety is to pay attention to your own feelings, rather than focusing on the feelings of others. Take the time to recognize each emotion you are feeling. As you recognize them, pay attention to the impact these emotions have on your behavior. If you feel upset and start to worry that your boyfriend doesn't love you, you may immediately try to give him more happiness/satisfaction. Often times, this kind of anxiety is unfounded, especially if he's always trying to show his love for you.
- In addition, it is important that you identify the source of your insecurity or anxiety. Maybe you've "absorbed" criticism or what your parents say, or have experienced failure in a previous relationship with a man who always treated you badly. Don't let these things in you run rampant. Instead, counter these things. When you start to doubt him or yourself, try to control and turn things around. For example, if you say, “Ugh, he doesn't call me anymore. Maybe he doesn't love me anymore,” try to stop such thoughts. You can counter it by saying, “No. That is not true. He loves me and says that every day. Maybe he's busy right now."
Step 3. Pay attention to the amount of time he spends with you
A man who loves you will want to spend time with you. If he can make time for you regularly and make an effort to see you, there's a good chance he does love you.
- Notice if he often breaks his promises. If he doesn't care about you, there's a good chance he often cancels his plans with you. This means he won't make time for you as often as you do for him, and if he makes time for you, he may end up canceling plans at the last minute. If he's not consistent in his time, he probably doesn't love you.
- Of course, sometimes men have obvious reasons for canceling their appointments. However, he should give you notice as soon as possible. He also had to be willing to reschedule his plans. If not, he may not be interested in you.
Step 4. See if he is willing to take on his responsibilities or show participation
This means that he is also involved in planning activities or dates, and not just you. You don't have to plan everything yourself. If he takes the initiative in making plans (at least once in a while), he probably really cares about you.
One way to ensure that he has the initiative is to make no plans at all. Let him plan a date for you. He must be willing to take the initiative if he really cares about you
Step 5. Make sure he's willing to compromise
In a relationship, one party sometimes has to make sacrifices by compromising. In means at one time, it is the person who gives and at other times, you are the one who gives. For example, maybe he wants to watch a movie he doesn't like (and you really like it). At different times, you might want to visit a sports-themed cafe with him because he likes it, even if personally, sports cafes are not your favorite place. If he is willing to participate in the give and take, he may indeed be in love with you.
Step 6. See if he's willing to do little things for you
For example, he may ask if you want a drink when he goes to the kitchen. It may also charge your phone when it's weak. If he anticipates your needs and does little things that "make" your life, there's a good chance he loves you.
Step 7. Make sure he's not embarrassed by you
If he loves you and wants to be with you, he doesn't have to be ashamed of your presence. This means he should at least be willing to introduce you to his friends and family. If he doesn't want to do it, maybe he's not sure about his feelings for you. While he may have other reasons for not introducing you to other people (eg because of religious differences), his shyness can serve as a warning sign for you.
Step 8. See if he likes to be around you when he's out in public
This step is in line with the previous step. If he is embarrassed by you, he will distance himself from you in public. In other words, pay attention to whether he often pulls or hugs you in public or shows his affection openly (eg by holding hands or hugging you). If not, maybe he doesn't like you. However, it may also indicate that he is a shy person who has not dared to show his love openly in public.
Part 2 of 3: Interpreting the Communication
Step 1. Pay attention to how it communicates
If he only calls you once a week and doesn't have much to say, it's probably not a good sign. However, if he sends you text messages or emails spontaneously and calls you regularly, he can't get you out of his mind and (most likely) loves you.
Keep in mind that every man is different. Maybe he's an introvert who doesn't really like spending time with other people, even someone he loves. Make sure you know the character or personality before jumping to conclusions
Step 2. Pay attention to the things he cares about
This means when he is with him, does he ask about you and how are you? Does he seem genuinely concerned about the things in your life? If he seems interested in your life, chances are he cares about you too.
Step 3. Find out if he remembers anything about you
In general, men (and everyone) certainly have and will forget a number of things, including important dates and past chats. However, if he makes an effort to remember important dates and pays attention to past conversations by bringing them up again, there's a good chance he's falling in love with you.
Step 4. See if he is willing or “willing” to fight
To really fight with someone, you have to care for them, then figure out how to make up. If he doesn't want to fight or ignore arguments, he probably doesn't really care about you.
You don't need to have a big fight (eg physical fight). However, both of you should be able to express your opinions and thoughts, even if you end up fighting. If he doesn't seem like he wants to be involved, he probably doesn't like you
Step 5. Pay attention to the grammar he uses
This means that if he starts using the pronoun "we" regularly instead of just "I," he probably loves you. “We” signifies that he is starting to think of you as a unit or a couple, which also means that he is starting to commit to a relationship with you.
Step 6. Observe your own language or terms if any
If you have your own language or terms, including quirky nicknames and jokes that only the two of you know, this can be a good sign. This means he cares about you and wants a full relationship. If he has a nickname for you (and only for you), this means at least he's attracted to you.
Step 7. Feel free to ask questions
If you're in a healthy relationship, you can immediately talk about how you feel. Talk about what you like about him, and tell him how you feel. After that, ask if he has the same feelings for you.
For example, you could say, "I think I like you. I don't know if you feel the same way. I'm feeling a little uneasy."
Part 3 of 3: Understand Why Not Saying "I Love You"
Step 1. Recognize that he may be afraid of rejection
Expressing your love makes you feel vulnerable because there is a possibility that your opponent/partner may not reciprocate your feelings. He may be afraid that you will reject his love, even after you show your love for him.
Step 2. Understand the impact of the past on the present
If he's been in a bad relationship in the past, he may not want to get emotionally involved in a new relationship right away. Therefore, do not immediately assume that something is wrong if he has not said/showed his love. He may be waiting until he feels ready to commit to you.
Step 3. Realize that some guys have a hard time verbalizing their emotions
Maybe he doesn't like talking about the emotions he's feeling. Instead, he prefers to show his feelings for you by making you a priority in his life.
Tips
- When he trusts you enough to share his problems and worries, and ask you for advice, it means that your thoughts or opinions are very valuable to him.
- Talk to him and tell him how you feel.
- Don't assume he doesn't love you if you don't want to ask.
- Don't misread the situation. Make sure he really likes you before you jump to conclusions.
- Just because he doesn't say "I love you" all the time, doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Sometimes he's just nervous to say it, even though he knows you'll return his words with the same thing.
- Try to have a good chat about what you want to do in the future and if he's refusing/staying away from the topic, there's a good chance he doesn't like you. It may also be a sensitive topic for him. You need to let him know that everything is fine and he still has you. Tell him that you will always be there for him if he needs to talk about it. This way, he can open himself up to the conversation. If he wants to talk about it, remember that good conversational skills are needed in a healthy relationship.
