Love can be very beautiful, but it can also make a person suffer instead of feeling happy. A troubled breakup or unrequited love can be a painful experience. Read this article if you want to know how to overcome sadness and feel happy again. Stop loving people who don't love you by keeping your distance, overcoming sadness, and starting a new life.
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Method 1 of 3: Keeping Your Distance
Step 1. Break up if you are both still in a relationship
In order to stop loving someone, break up with them. Once you've decided you want to separate because your loved one doesn't love you or because your relationship has soured, ask him out and talk about it calmly, but firmly. Tell him:
- “Even though I love you very much, it's time for me to make a decision. I know you do not love me. I prefer to have relationships with other people based on mutual care.”
- “Even though I love you very much, our relationship doesn't make us happy. I cry more than smile and I don't think this is healthy. We could have a long chat about this, but I have already made up my mind.”
Step 2. Spend less time with your loved ones
After deciding to separate, try to reduce interaction with him. Choose a different path to work or class. If you have mutual friends, reduce the amount of time you spend with them so you don't see them.
If the two of you have to meet at work or in class, talk only as necessary
Step 3. Unfollow, unfriend or block the account on social media
It's easier for you to forget your loved ones if you don't see them. Do not interact with him in person and over the internet. Block his account on all social media to disconnect the communication medium. In addition to blocking the account, unfriend or unfollow the account so that you no longer receive any posts from him on social media.
Step 4. Avoid useless communication
Don't talk to him, even if he contacts you. The less communication with him, the sooner you will stop loving him. However, you will still need to communicate with him in certain ways, for example if you both have children to raise together, work for the same company, or because he wants to pick up something from home.
- If you both have to talk, do it in a place that doesn't bring back old memories, such as a coffee shop. Be nice to him, but don't get too close. Speak politely and ask how he's doing, but get to the point.
- For example: “I'm glad you're doing well! Right now we have to share the task of picking up Joshua every day because tomorrow he starts school.”
Step 5. Avoid places that are reminiscent of wonderful experiences
Don't go to places that bring back good memories with him, such as the first time the two of you met or on a date. Even if it's hard to forget, don't dwell on the good times that make this process even more difficult.
Step 6. Go on vacation if possible
Set aside time to leave your daily routine so you don't see him for a few days. Travel alone, with friends, or as a family member.
If financial conditions are limited, take a day's vacation, for example: visiting the nearest tourist spot or walking around the city to see the sights
Method 2 of 3: Coping With Loss
Step 1. Eliminate the things that remind you of him
If you still have a photo of the two of you, throw it away or keep it in a closed place. If you still have his old sweater, return it or donate it to charity. The little things that remind you of him make it even harder for you to forget him. Therefore, keep it in a closed place or throw it away.
Step 2. Think of the drawbacks instead of the good
Instead of reminiscing about the good times full of jokes and laughter with him, think of the bad times as reasons to stop loving him. Focus on what made you make this decision.
For example: think about his rude attitude towards your mother, his words that made you cry on your birthday, or his selfish everyday behavior
Step 3. Meditate every day
If you're still thinking about it, try to clear your mind and feel the peace of life by meditating. Set aside time to sit in a quiet place for at least 10 minutes a day while focusing on your breath.
If you've never meditated before, start practicing using the Headspace or Calm apps that you can download for free over the internet
Step 4. Ask for support from friends
Letting go of your love for someone isn't easy, but you can do it with the help of friends and family members. Instead of pulling away, find someone to chat with. Take this opportunity to share how you are feeling or things you would like to do to improve things.
Don't call your friends too often just to complain about your problems. Even good friends will feel disturbed if they always hear sad news
Step 5. Talk to a therapist if you are depressed
If you've been trying to get over it for months, but nothing has changed, talk to a therapist. If you feel lethargic in the morning or don't enjoy doing things you've always enjoyed, you may be experiencing depression. Find a solution to this problem as soon as possible to overcome the sadness.
Method 3 of 3: Reorganizing Your Life
Step 1. Make big changes in your daily life
In order to stop loving someone, start by becoming a new person. Look at your yesterday self as someone who is in love and then turn into a new person who doesn't have those feelings. Replace your collection of clothes with new ones, reorganize your home, and determine the life goals you want to achieve. Make changes in your daily life by:
- Throw away or donate clothes that have been sitting in the closet for a long time and wear new clothes that are more fashionable.
- Move, rearrange, or replace home furniture.
- Update biodata and apply for jobs to get a higher position.
Step 2. Exercise regularly to improve your mood
In addition to being beneficial for the body, exercise is also very good for maintaining mental health. When you exercise, your body produces endorphins, which are natural compounds that work to improve your mood. You will feel sad when you try to stop loving someone, but you can work around your sadness and feel calmer by exercising.
Join a class at the fitness center or take a friend along for a run in the housing complex
Step 3. Get together with friends
Quitting loving someone doesn't mean you don't love your family and friends. Make time to connect by getting them together every weekend for a movie or a drink. Being outdoors while having fun makes you recover faster and is motivated to start a new life.
Step 4. Enjoy your passion or find a new hobby
During this process, keep yourself busy by doing your favorite activities. Do things that have been pending or start again what you have always enjoyed. Take advantage of the free time available because you are able to free yourself from useless feelings so that you can invest in enjoying life.
For example: dancing, reading a book, riding a horse, cooking, or painting
Step 5. Start dating again
Once you no longer love and think about it every day, start socializing. Ask your friend to introduce you to someone they know and aren't married or find a date online. Even though it's hard, you can definitely do it!
A new relationship will be fun, but don't just look for an escape. Start dating again when you're really ready for your new life, that is, if you don't cry much, don't think about it when you wake up in the morning or before going to bed at night, and don't get emotional when you hear songs that bring up memories with him
Step 6. Be patient
Quitting loving someone is a process that takes a lot of time and effort emotionally. Limit time to thinking about the relationship that's ended, but don't panic if you think of him again. This is normal and experienced by many people.
