Affection, or affection, is a physical expression that expresses feelings. Affection is usually associated with love and long-term relationships because the constant outpouring of affection will bring the individual closer. Many studies show that children who receive lots of love and care will have lower stress levels. Other research has shown that relationships with high levels of physical affection lead to greater relationship satisfaction.
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Method 1 of 3: Increasing Affection with Touch
Step 1. Know the limits of one's discomfort
Some people feel uncomfortable with touch due to personal reasons, family history, level of familiarity, or certain trauma. This factor makes it difficult for us to initiate or enjoy physical expressions of affection such as caresses, hugs, holding hands, or cuddles.
- Overcome your fears about intimacy and physical relationships with other people. Just accept the fact that you are afraid, and find out where the fear is coming from. It will help you greatly to realize that the source of your fear may not be related to the current event or your partner, and to try to address it.
- Talk to your partner about this problem and let him know that you feel uncomfortable. Also explain why you feel uncomfortable. Ask him to be a little patient. Showing physical affection becomes easier when you get to know the person and have worked out the root cause of your discomfort with physical intimacy. Not only that, improving communication patterns will result in closer and more affectionate relationships.
- See an expert to find a solution. Experts can help you deal with the negative emotions associated with fear and ease your doubts about showing physical affection. If you have trouble discussing it with other people, just write it down in a diary or express your feelings in another way.
- Get into the habit of showing physical affection. Hold your partner's hand, touch their shoulder, or hug them as often as possible. Over time, you will find it easier and more natural to show physical affection.
Step 2. Schedule some pampering time with the kids or partner
Touch relieves tension and pain, while helping people deal with and strengthening bonds. Include socializing time in your daily schedule with your family to improve your physical and psychological health. Pampering can be done while on a date, storytelling, and even watching television.
Step 3. Hold her hand
Whether with a partner or children, holding hands is time-consuming, painless, and can really strengthen the bond. Holding someone's hand is the easiest way to increase physical affection for them. When walking to the bus stop, shopping, or sitting at home relaxing, take the hand of someone you care about and hold on tight.
Step 4. Add physical touch to your list of health goals
Having physical contact with children and partners releases oxytocin, the love hormone, which can lower blood pressure. This hormone also helps us control cortisol, the hormone that appears when stress strikes. Physical touch activates the orbitofrontal cortex in the brain, which is associated with feelings of appreciation and boosts the immune system.
Step 5. Identify all the healthy ways that help you feel physical affection
Physical affection is any touch that is useful to increase affection or love in the recipient or the giver. Write a list of these ways as a reference to do next time. Then, over the course of a week, try to do each method in some way.
- Some ways to show affection include: kissing, stroking the back, massaging, gently touching, pampering, hugging, hugging, and holding hands. You may also have other ways of expressing your affection.
- Although it usually takes 21 days to form a habit, the number is not absolutely the same for everyone. Continue to apply the methods on your list for a few months so that you are more willing to show physical affection.
Step 6. Give affectionate elbows to people you care about
You can pour humor into your relationship through natural physical contact. For example, a gentle squeeze, a loving elbow, a playful tap, an intimate towel, or a gentle push. Always make sure your partner doesn't mind your elbows. Do all that slowly so as not to leave cuts or bruises.
Step 7. Play with your feet both intimately
You can intertwine your legs, play with your partner's feet under the table, put your feet on your partner's thighs and vice versa. The two of you will be physically connected to it. Plus, you'll both notice each other's presence if you happen to sit across from each other. Remember, any physical contact that aims to show affection is a form of physical affection.
Step 8. Try giving a massage
As with other forms of physical affection, giving a massage also helps strengthen your relationship. Massage also provides health benefits: it reduces stress, improves blood flow and nutrition, and helps relieve pain. For these reasons, massages on the back, legs, or body are great ways to show physical affection. Your partner will enjoy it and hopefully repay your kindness.
Method 2 of 3: Increasing Affection Verbally
Step 1. Provide verbal affirmations or reinforcements
Giving verbal affection, such as saying “I love you” or “I care about you” is an important way to strengthen the bond and even bring you physical and mental well-being. Don't replace these verbal expressions of affection with texts or emails. If the two of you are far apart, call. This method may be more time consuming, but provides a higher level of intimacy.
- Verbal expressions of affection are words that are deliberately spoken to emphasize feelings of love and affection as well as to make your partner feel loved. The shape is up to you and your partner as long as the words are able to evoke the desired emotion and reinforce affection for each other.
- If you're forced to use electronic means to communicate, use words like "Always thinking of you" or "Miss you" instead of the usual, standard stuff.
Step 2. Understand that long distance relationships require more verbal affection
Since you can't touch her directly to strengthen the bond, you need to share your feelings with her more often. This is important to maintain a close relationship while strengthening a sense of security, comfort, and trust. If possible, use Skype or Google Hangouts so the two of you can make eye contact and show body language while chatting.
Step 3. Compliment your loved ones every day
Praise is a form of verbal affection. Compliments can increase self-confidence, show that you care, and improve the mood of those you care about. Not only that, praise will inject motivation for the person to achieve success because he believes he can do it. Always give sincere compliments. Otherwise, your compliment will be taken as a breeze.
- Pay attention to the things you admire, appreciate, or often praise about him. It can take many forms, including appearance, facial features (such as eyes or lips), personality, achievements, the help he gives you, or skills.
- Be honest and don't miss every opportunity to praise it. Tell your wife, “Your eyes are beautiful” while staring at her or “My life feels complete thanks to your presence” if this is the case. Tell your husband, "You look great in that dress" when he's getting ready for work or "You really are a good cook" when he makes you breakfast. Tell your child, "You're so smart, honey," when you see your report card or "You're good at sports, aren't you," after practice ends.
Step 4. Greet your spouse or children when they get home
Take a break from what you're doing and interact with your spouse or children so they know you really care. You want them to know that they are more important than anything and how much you miss them. Combine this verbal affection with physical affection, such as a kiss on the head or on the cheek. To your partner, you may also need to kiss his cheek or lips.
Step 5. Give a nickname for your spouse or child
Nicknames that have a positive feel show that you and her have a special bond. The name you choose usually reflects some characteristic, habit, or event related to the person who earned the nickname. Nicknames can also be composed of short real names. What is clear, make sure the person is happy with the nickname because some people don't like being called by nicknames.
Some commonly used nicknames include: Genduk, Darling, Beautiful, Captain, or Hero
Step 6. Take time to say “thank you”
Think of all the things other people have done for you. Think back to the help they have given you in your life. Look them in the eye and express your gratitude in a few sentences. They need to know how much you love and owe them a lot of gratitude for their kindness.
Step 7. Don't assume that "I love you" is the only way to express affection
If you feel awkward saying it, you should try using another sentence. Words like “You are great” and “Lucky I have you” are other ways to show affection. Every relationship has its own style. For example, you and your partner both like to climb mountains, so you can take a special phrase to express your feelings. If you are a climber, you can say, "You are like the peak of Rinjani that I always want to visit all the time."
Method 3 of 3: Build Habits to Increase Affection
Step 1. Immediately return the affection you receive
Respond to cues of love by hugging back, giving gifts, saying “I love you”, kissing him on the cheek, or giving him a high five. If you're not familiar with this, it never hurts to start practicing so you don't feel awkward next time.
Step 2. Make sure both parents show affection
Decades ago, it was not important for a father to be affectionate towards his children. However, times have changed. Both parents, father and mother, must try to show affection for children even if it still feels awkward.
Step 3. Make eye contact
When you're being pampered, holding hands, or complimenting him, don't forget to make eye contact. Eye contact will further connect you and the other person while at the same time showing that you are not kidding. Research shows that looking into the eyes of people you care about (including pets) can increase the hormone oxytocin. You not only feel comfortable, but also satisfied with other benefits.
Step 4. Set goals for yourself
Motivational strategists believe that good habits can be built by dreaming big, for example being a compassionate person. Then, set smaller goals, such as “I will spend 20 minutes chatting face-to-face with my kids every day.” Always try to break down big goals into smaller ones to make them easier to achieve and give you the opportunity to celebrate your accomplishments more often.
Step 5. Don't be afraid to consult an expert
If you are reluctant to show affection or are able to feel love but have trouble expressing it, consider seeing a consultant or therapist. You can visit it alone or accompanied by a partner. It takes effort to have a harmonious relationship. Don't think of your partner or yourself as weak because you have to go see a consultant or therapist. If you love someone and want this relationship to work, you have to block anything that gets in the way of seeking help to build a stronger relationship.
