Trying to stop loving someone is tough, whether you're trying to get over your ex, or getting over your one-sided crush. Emotions can be overwhelming. However, as time goes by, and the support of friends or family, and lots of self-love, you will capable. Here are some ways to point you on the right path.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Stop Loving the Person You Like
Step 1. Ask yourself do you really love this person?
Sometimes it may feel like you love someone – a handsome guy who works at Starbucks, your sister's best friend, someone you meet on the internet, or your favorite musician or movie star – but it's really just a cradle or crush. Yes, you may think about them all the time and imagine what it would be like to be with them, but if you never spend any time with them or they don't even know you exist, there's very little chance that what you're feeling is love, maybe it's just a feeling. love that is only momentary.
- True love must be reciprocated, need to spend time with the person and get to know all his personal habits and weaknesses.
- If you don't experience the above, then chances are you only love the "image" of the person, not the person themselves.
- When you can convince yourself that what you're feeling isn't love – in the truest sense of the word – it will be much easier for you to forget about it.
Step 2. Determine with certainty whether there is a possibility for a relationship
What you have to do next is to analyze the situation and find out if there is a possibility for a relationship to grow between you and your crush. If there's a realistic possibility – for example someone at work or school you haven't approached because of a lack of confidence – then there's still hope and you just have to muster up the courage to ask her out.
- However, if the person you love is your best friend's lover, your English teacher or, say, Leonardo DiCaprio, then it's better to forget about it and move on. That will never happen.
- It may be harsh, but the sooner you accept reality, the easier it will be for you to forget it.
Step 3. List the reasons why this won't work
Making a list of real reasons why your relationship with this person will never work out can be very helpful when you're feeling bad for them and need a little reminder of why you should quit.
- The list could be anything – from the fact that there is a 30 year age difference between you and him, to the fact that he loves the same sex, or because you can't possibly love the person with the cross tattooed on his arm.
- You have to be very, very honest with yourself – your heart will thank you for it in the long run. Tell yourself that he's not the best person and he doesn't deserve you.
Step 4. Focus on developing relationships with existing people
Do yourself a favor and stop wishing on the impossible; start focusing your attention on someone who is more receptive to you. Maybe you've been so busy loving someone else out there that you don't even realize that your soulmate is right in front of you.
- Know a guy friend who always offers to take your books with you? The girl who looks right into your eyes and smiles every time she passes? Focus on him.
- Even if you don't fall in love with them right away, it's a good idea to go out and try to meet new people.
Step 5. Remind yourself that you have the right to love people who love you
One sided love hurts and you don't deserve to be down because of it. You deserve to be with someone who admires you, who thinks of you as the sun, who wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Forget those who don't love you back and don't appreciate your sincere feelings for them.
Try to think positively how awesome you are. Look at yourself in the mirror and repeat five times “I am an extraordinary person who deserves to be loved.” It feels silly at first, but you'll get used to it over time
Method 2 of 4: Stop Loving Your Ex
Step 1. Accept the fact that it's over
When the relationship ends, don't run away from reality by holding on to uncertain hopes. Don't try to convince yourself that he will come back to you and will try to change. Accept that the relationship is over. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can move on.
Step 2. Allow yourself to grieve A relationship that ends while you still love it can feel like a huge loss
You need a moment to cry for the love that has been lost.
- Cope with your grief in a healthy way. Don't suppress your emotions or shut yourself in your room for a week. cry if it makes you feel better.
- Take your frustrations out in a boxing bag at the gym or lie down on the couch with your favorite movie and a box of ice cream. Whatever makes you feel good, do it!!
Step 3. Disconnect contact
It may sound harsh, but the best way to recover from a broken heart is to cut off all contact with that person. Keeping in touch will only make it harder for you to stop thinking about him.
- Delete her number from your cellphone. This will reduce the urge to call or text, especially when you feel very vulnerable and want to say something you regret.
- Avoid going to places where you think you will meet him. Seeing it will only evoke feelings and memories that can weigh you down.
- Disconnect on social media. Unfriend you with him on facebook and twitter. It doesn't take forever, but something like this will help you in the beginning. It's hard to move on if you're obsessed with changing his status.
Step 4. Get rid of things that can be a reminder
Get rid of all her photos, clothes, books, toys, or music in your home. Break it down if you feel it can help release the anger (and you won't regret it later!). Otherwise, put them all in a box and place them somewhere you won't be able to see them. Out of sight, out of mind.
Step 5. Don't torture yourself
Don't torture yourself for what happened or wonder what you did wrong. You can't change the past, and punishing yourself for past mistakes (or what you think was wrong) won't do you any good. It may seem nearly impossible, but try not to torture yourself with "maybe because…" or "what if…"
Step 6. Tell someone
Talk to a friend, family member, or therapist who can help lighten your load. Cry, curse, scream, and swear. Let out any sweet sentiments or bad thoughts about that person – get them all out. It will be nice to see how relieved you are after this.
- Make sure you talk to someone you can trust, and talk one-on-one. You don't want your deepest feelings to spread to other people even to your ex.
- Don't over-talk to anyone. Most people will be sympathetic and willing to listen at first, but if you keep moping around for weeks on end, you'll start sounding like a broken record and testing people's patience.
Step 7. Give yourself time
Now it may sound like bullshit, but time really can heal all wounds. Accept the fact that it takes time to feel like your old self again, but believe that you can.
- Try keeping a journal to record how you feel each day. When you look back at what you've recorded over the past few months, you'll be amazed how far you've come.
- Don't put pressure on yourself to get over your ex or date a new crush for a certain amount of time. You'll know when you're ready.
Method 3 of 4: Focusing On You
Step 1. Sleep
One of the best ways to take care of yourself is to make sure you get enough sleep. The quality of your sleep can make a huge difference to how you feel each day. Sleep gives your brain time to process – you can wake up after a good night's sleep feeling calm and a new perspective on life. This is why getting enough sleep is so important when you are trying to forget someone.
- If you're having trouble falling asleep, try relaxing an hour before bed. Take a bubble bath or read a book. Drink hot chocolate or chamomile tea, or maybe you can help with slow music to help you relax. Stay away from television and electronic devices – this will stimulate brain function, not slow it down.
- After a good night's sleep you'll feel refreshed and energized – ready to take on the day. You will also look fresher and more attractive and also be able to concentrate better throughout the day.
Step 2. Exercise
While it may feel better to lie on the couch feeling sorry for yourself when you're trying to forget someone, it's actually best to exercise. It doesn't matter what sport – running, gymnastics, rock climbing, parkour – they all have the same positive effect. Exercise will release the happy-hormone and make you look great!
- Just 30 minutes of exercise a few times a week will release the endorphins needed to create feelings of pleasure and euphoria. In fact, studies show that exercise can even relieve symptoms for people with clinical depression.
- Try some outdoor exercise for some fresh air and Vitamin D – you'll feel happier and less stressed out quickly!
- Exercise will boost your confidence when it may be most needed. Regardless of weight, height, gender, or age, exercise can rapidly increase a person's perception of self-worth and attractiveness.
Step 3. Meditate
Meditation helps relieve your stress and allows us to forget about unpleasant feelings or thoughts. Even ten minutes of meditation per day can help relieve stress. Here are some tips to help you meditate effectively:
- Create a calm and peaceful atmosphere. Choose a location where you will not be disturbed. Turn off your cell phone. Choose music and lighting that are soothing and relaxing.
- Take out the equipment. A yoga mat or pillow can help you feel more comfortable when you meditate. A small waterfall with water flowing near you can be very soothing. Light an aromatherapy candle to scent the air or simply “set the mood”.
- Wear comfortable clothes. You'll have a hard time relaxing and forgetting the world around you if you don't feel comfortable.
- Sitting cross-legged. Back as straight as possible, do not slump.
- Close your eyes and concentrate on your breath. Breathe naturally, using your nose.
- Try to clear all thoughts, just focus on your breath. Gradually the disturbing thoughts will subside and you will experience inner peace and tranquility.
Step 4. Write
Writing is very effective. Just putting your worries and emotions down on paper can make you feel lighter and less burdened. Try keeping a journal or writing a letter to your ex (don't send it) to help process your emotions. Read your words again and try to identify what is really bothering you.
- Also, try writing a letter to yourself about why the relationship won't work, regardless of who ended it (Don't just remember the good times; remember the bad times too).
- If you're more creative, try putting your thoughts and emotions into a poem or song. Some of the best works of art start with a broken heart.
Step 5. Follow your will
Now is the time to pamper yourself. Do whatever makes you feel good. Plan to go to the spa with friends. Invite male friends to watch a football game over a beer. Eat whatever you want. Drunk. Bottom line: have fun.
Method 4 of 4: Starting Again
Step 1. Forget the past
You need time to cry over the end of a serious relationship, or a case of unrequited love, but once that time has passed, you should be ready to face the world again. Let go of the past and welcome today as a new beginning, a new chapter in your life. Remember, the best is yet to come!
Step 2. Go out with your friends
Now is the time to reconnect with friends you may have neglected when you were dating. Call your childhood best friend, school gang or roommate. Reconnect with friends and you'll soon have so many social bonds that you'll wonder what you've been up to the last few years.
Step 3. Try something new
Now that you're no longer haunted by feelings for him, you may have more free time. Now is the time to rediscover yourself and become the person you always wanted to be. Dye your hair red, take a Japanese language course, fitness for a sixpack. Take the opportunity to try something new and you will discover a hidden talent or passion that you were previously unaware of.
Step 4. Be proud to be single Take advantage of your new emotional independence and the endless possibilities for single people
Go out with friends, meet new people and seduce the opposite sex shamelessly. Your ex doesn't dance? Beat the dance floor! Don't appreciate your best friend's humor? Laugh out loud! Soon you'll be having a good time and you'll forget why you wanted a relationship to be happy.
Step 5. Start dating again
Once time has passed and you have enjoyed all the goodness of the single world, you can start thinking about dating again. Don't invite people you just met, go to places and chat with people, go crazy and go to Paris or some other city in a few days.
- If you've just broken up from a long-standing relationship, then take it slow. If you date other people too early, you'll end up comparing your new crush to your ex, and this isn't fair to your new crush.
- Enter your new relationship with hope and optimism – and who knows? Maybe he is "the one".
Tips
- Try not to dwell on him too long (Pretty hard!!!!). But it's possible when you don't focus on it and do something else.
- Be confident in your decision.
- Create a new look for yourself.
