Bullying has long-term consequences for both yourself and those who experience it. If you are in the habit of hurting other people physically, verbally, or emotionally, try to stop it. This article will help you figure out why you want to bully other people and deal with it.
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Part 1 of 4: Understanding the Meaning of Bullying
Step 1. Identify actions that fall into the bullying category
You are a bully if you do any of the following.
- You are verbally abusive if you ridicule, mock, yell, or insult others.
- You are physically abused when you use physical violence, such as hitting, kicking, pushing, slapping, punching, or pinching another person.
- You are emotionally abusive if you manipulate another person in your own self-interest by humiliating him or her or making him feel powerless and insecure, for example by gossiping, slandering, being hostile, or ignoring him.
- Basically, bullying occurs when someone harasses, abuses, or intimidates another person physically or emotionally. In addition, these actions are repeated to the same or different people.
Step 2. Learn how to determine whether or not you are bullying another person and understand the consequences
- Watch online videos that provide detailed information on issues related to bullying and how to stop bullying.
- Look for information about the many incidents of bullying that have caused victims to become bullies or murderers, even leading to death and suicide.
- Be aware that bullies can be suspended, expelled from school, or detained, depending on the case.
- If you have a tendency to bully people you don't like, try to get to know them better so you can be nice to them. Apply these tips to make new friends!
Step 3. Identify the causes of bullying
There are various reasons why someone becomes a bully. Maybe he is used to being rude because he is influenced by the people around him or tends to be aggressive towards people he doesn't like. As the saying goes, " misery loves company ", which means, "It's good to see other people struggling. It's hard to see other people happy", maybe he is suffering from trauma or a troubled life. If you're experiencing this too, try to forgive yourself and learn how to deal with this, instead of taking your negative emotions out on others.
Part 2 of 4: Self Introspection
Step 1. Do some reflection to find out why you are bullying other people
Have you hurt others because you have been hurt? Sometimes, a person becomes a bully by imitating the behavior of others. Try to remember how the attitude of those closest to you who are unable to accept yourself and feel helpless.
If you are experiencing bullying at home, immediately consult a counselor at school, a professional therapist, or someone you can trust
Step 2. Find out why you can't accept yourself
Usually, a person becomes a bully because there are things that make him feel insecure. Reflect by answering the following questions:
- Are you bullying because you want to cover up your own weaknesses? One of the main motives of bullying is to put others down to hide feelings of helplessness.
- Are you bullying to sound great? It may be that you maintain a problematic situation in the community as a way of showing dominance.
- Do you ridicule others because you both have the same flaws? Bullying others for equally unpleasant traits is also a common reason for bullying.
- Are you bullied because your life is a disappointment? Some people treat others badly when they are powerless to change their living conditions.
Step 3. Imagine what it's like to bullied another person
What do you think about when you hurt someone else? What events usually trigger bullying? The ability to identify the same triggers each time you want to bully can help you stop negative behavior.
Part 3 of 4: Controlling Behavior
Positioning yourself as a victim
Step 1. Try to understand the feelings of the victim of bullying
Ask yourself how you would feel if you were the one being bullied yourself. Don't hurt other people if you don't want to be hurt physically or emotionally. Treat others the way they want to be treated.
Step 2. Imagine how he felt when you bullied him
To get rid of the urge to bully, express how you feel to the victim or potential victim. For example, if the two of you used to be friends, but became enemies because of a misunderstanding, it's best to resolve the issue amicably.
Step 3. Ask yourself why you are bullying
This behavior certainly has a trigger because usually, people bullied not without cause. The motives for bullying vary widely. Find out the cause by answering the following questions:
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- Do you want to feel great about being bullied?
- Do you live in an environment where there is frequent bullying?
- Are you jealous or envious of him?
- Do you want to be "accepted" or "to impress"?
Stop bullying
Step 1. Get in the habit of thinking before you act
If you're bullying someone because you're having trouble controlling your emotions, take time to think before you act. For example, if someone's words irritate you, calm yourself down by taking a deep breath before responding.
Realize that you make a decision to show a certain attitude every time you act. Only you can control your speech and behavior
Step 2. Avoid people who provide support when you are bullying
You are among those who are a bad influence when it comes to hurting others in order to be accepted by them. Maybe you don't want to be bullied, but are forced to do so in order to survive in the community. Don't socialize with them so you don't get bullied.
If they demand that you bully someone else, share this with someone who can help you
Step 3. Learn to empathize with others
Maybe you're being mean to the other person because you don't understand their perspective. Ask yourself what it would be like if you were treated badly like this.
- Set aside time to interact with other people and get to know them better.
- Remember that everyone is equal: you are no better than anyone else and no one is better than you.
- Appreciate the uniqueness of each person. Don't judge other people with different backgrounds.
Step 4. Change the way you see other people
If you want to bully someone you don't like, think about their kindness to change your feelings. Don't think negative thoughts about other people and reasons to bully. For example, if you bullied yourself in order to "look great" and be admired, imagine how great it would be if you grew in popularity because you were known to be kind to other people. Form the habit of "seeing the best" in other people, instead of questioning the bad. Did you know that friendships with the most annoying people can be made if you are able to see the good in them and appreciate them? When interacting with other people, this step is far more beneficial than being mistreated or bullied. In addition to adding friends, you can find true friends.
Step 5. Seek help from a mental health professional
Talk to a counselor or therapist if you can't control your bullying urges. He was able to explain how to change this habit.
Part 4 of 4: Making up
Step 1. Say sorry to the person who was bullied
Even if you've stopped bullying, there's still a lot to be done to get the victim to trust you. Try to remember all the bad things you did to him, then offer a sincere apology in a humble and polite manner. Tell him what you've done and say it with regret so he knows that you can be trusted and his words can be held. If you admit to being wrong for bullying him, chances are he won't reject you or run away. In fact, you can repair your relationship and make friends with him.
- Don't apologize if it's not sincere. Contrived speech will be discovered.
- If you repeatedly hurt the other person's feelings, they may not want to talk to you. Respect the decision and realize that the relationship may be over.
Step 2. Forgive yourself
The past can't be changed, but you can forgive yourself and live life in peace.
Step 3. Show respect for others from now on
Apply new ways of understanding other people and build good relationships until you get used to treating others politely. If you start to think again about the things that triggered your anger, control yourself by thinking before you act. Focus on the things that make you feel connected to others and respect the human rights of all people. You can't control other people, but you can control yourself.
Tips
- Don't befriend members of the community who behave badly. If he objects to you changing your behavior, tell him that you don't want to be friends with him anymore.
- Get in the habit of praising, instead of insulting others. Try to see the good, not the bad.
- Be an example to others. Be kind to the victim of bullying so that others realize that he or she doesn't deserve to be bullied.
- Get in the habit of being kind to others. To restore a friendship, the first step is to apologize to the person who was bullied, then tell them that you've changed and won't be bullying again.
- Treat others well the way they want to be treated.
- Think carefully about every word you want to say or write so as not to hurt feelings or insult other people. Choose words wisely. Remember that opinions are personal opinions, thoughts, not facts.
- If someone disagrees with you, consider their perspective instead of fighting.
