When you feel lonely, it's natural to miss the girl of your dreams who breaks your heart. Even if it hurts at first, trust that things will get better with time. You can get over it if you can cope with the loss, for example by keeping yourself busy while having fun and spending time with supportive people. Thus, you are able to accept reality and move on.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Coping With Loss
Step 1. Admit that you still miss him
You may be trying to deny the feeling of loss, but it makes you think about it more. The only tip for dealing with homesickness is to acknowledge the emotions you feel. Put your feelings into words and remind yourself that it's normal to miss you.
Say to yourself, "I love her so much. She really is the girl of my dreams. I doubt I'll ever meet another girl like her." Then, remind yourself, "What I'm feeling right now is normal. So, it's okay if I feel sad."
Tip:
You may grieve or cry over the loss of a loved one. Even if it hurts, you'll get better over time.
Step 2. Focus your mind on other things that are important to you
Think about a good friend, a pet cat, or a goal you want to achieve because the constant thoughts of the girl of your dreams are hard to ignore. This way makes you stop thinking about it. A distraction helps you forget about it for a while.
- For example, listen to your favorite song while memorizing the lyrics, but don't choose a song that reminds you of it.
- Another way, invite friends to play games that require strategy, such as chess, monopoly, or checkers. Focus your mind on how to win the game.
Step 3. Find out the reason that the two of you separated
Usually, a relationship with a loved one, perhaps a coveted girl or lover cannot continue for some reason. Take time to remember the moments you spent with him and why the relationship didn't last. Then, write down the reasons so you can accept reality.
- If he's an ex-girlfriend, reflect on the good and the bad when the two of you were in a relationship and what caused the breakup.
- If she is the girl you want, think about the reasons why the relationship didn't exist. Maybe he likes someone else or has told you that he just wants to be friends.
Step 4. Share your feelings with a trusted friend or family member
Express your feelings honestly so that you feel relieved. Listen to the advice given. Sometimes, they have a different perspective as a neutral party.
- For example, express your feelings by saying, "I love him so much. I'm afraid no one can replace him."
- Contact friends and relatives so that many people support you.
Step 5. Talk to a counselor or therapist if you are having trouble dealing with sadness
There may not be a perfect way to get rid of sadness, but a counselor or therapist can help you control your feelings and deal with your sadness through mental therapy. In addition, they can also explain tips to respect yourself so that you feel more confident.
- Look for a counselor or therapist online or ask a doctor for a referral.
- If you have an insurance policy, seek information about coverage for a consultation with a mental health professional.
Method 2 of 4: Keeping yourself busy
Step 1. Schedule a daily routine to keep you busy
You don't have time to think about your ideal girl if you are busy with activities. Make a schedule by prioritizing the most important work and then plan fun activities that make you feel comfortable. In addition, determine how to spend free time.
- After waking up in the morning, set aside time to jog in the park, check incoming messages, and play with your beloved cat.
- Morning until noon filled with studying at school or working in the office. If you're not in school or work, take the time to hang out with friends, take online classes, or enjoy hobbies.
- Usually, there is free time in the afternoon that can be used to do various activities, such as cooking dinner with family or friends, watching movies, or making crafts. In addition, you can do your homework or read a book to fill your spare time.
Step 2. Do things that interest you to increase your self-confidence and socialize.
Try to take your mind off the sadness by having as much fun as possible. This move makes you feel happy and opens up opportunities to meet other interesting girls. For that, take the time to:
- Join a sports team.
- Draw or paint.
- Cook new recipes.
- Learn to play a musical instrument.
- Planting flowers in pots.
- Write articles.
Step 3. Spend time with family members and friends so that you feel relaxed
They are ready to help when you keep thinking about the girl of your dreams. So that you stop missing them and not be lonely, invite them together to have fun.
- Invite family members to accompany you to dinner or to a movie.
- Invite friends to play games or watch TV at home.
- Treat a friend to coffee.
- Make a team to climb a mountain, rock climb, or play bowling.
Method 3 of 4: Forgetting Your Dream Girl
Step 1. Avoid all things that remind you of him
Donate gifts and souvenirs he gives, throw away paper memorabilia, such as diaries or photos. Don't forget to delete photos, messages, and other documents on your phone or computer that remind you of them.
- Ask a friend or family member for help if you can't do it yourself.
- If it's not time to do the steps above, put these items in a box and store them in a closed place for disposal when you're ready.
Step 2. Don't meet her until you've recovered your feelings
If possible, avoid places he usually goes. Change your daily routine so you don't run into him. Take this opportunity to visit a new coffee shop or restaurant and take a new route to work or class.
Sometimes, you just can't avoid meeting the girl of your dreams. In this situation, try to reduce interaction with him
Step 3. Have a conversation with the other person if meeting him is unavoidable
Invite someone to chat if you're both in the same place to make it sound like you're busy. Also, avoid interactions by typing messages on your phone, reading articles, or keeping a diary.
For example, you both take the same course. To keep you from interacting with them, invite other friends to chat or use your cell phone if allowed. During the lesson, focus on the material being explained and challenge yourself to take more notes. Participating in class keeps your mind focused on the topic at hand, instead of on the girl you like
Tip:
if the two of you have been sitting close together in class, find a seat some distance away from him so you can concentrate. If you both work in the same room, ask your boss to transfer you to another department to maintain work performance. Give a reason to the boss, "I ask to be transferred to another department because I want to get new experiences and develop myself".
Step 4. Unfriend the social media website and don't open the account
Social media is a very useful means of communication, but you will keep thinking about the girl of your dreams if you try to find out about her daily life by checking her account. Therefore, unfriend through social media sites so that your mind is not focused on him.
Unfollow the accounts of mutual friends who often upload photos of the girl you like. If the loss is resolved, you can follow the account again
Tip:
if you can't control how you want to open an account, use apps to limit the duration of access to social media sites, such as Offtime and Moment for iPhone and Android users.
Step 5. Ask your mutual friend not to tell him about the daily life of the girl you like
Do not ask him to tell or give news about the girl of his dreams. Instead, let them know that you want to work through your sadness and don't need to be told anything about their day to day so you can stop thinking about them.
For example, "I don't want to think about Emily. So don't tell me anything about her."
Method 4 of 4: Stepping Again
Step 1. Focus on your personal goals, instead of focusing on the girl who doesn't like you
Make a list of the things you really want, like getting the job you've always dreamed of or winning a marathon. Then, write down the steps that must be taken to achieve it. The next step, make a work schedule to realize the plan. In the end, you are able to accept reality and take another step towards realizing what you want.
Set goals that aren't related to love, such as forming a soccer team, practicing rock climbing, writing a novel, attending a top university, getting a college degree, getting your dream job, or taking a few days off
Step 2. Work on developing yourself so that life feels more fulfilling
The desire to have someone is usually because life feels incomplete. The good news is that you already have the means to overcome this because you are the only person who can complete yourself. Form new habits that help you become the person you want to be, for example by following these tips:
- Set aside time to interact with family members and friends.
- Get used to exercising 30 minutes a day 5-7 times a week to maintain health.
- Keep the place of residence tidy.
- Enjoy a new hobby.
- Set a new target when attending education or a career, for example wanting to continue studying or getting a job promotion.
Step 3. Spend time with other girls looking for new opportunities
Invite your female friends to hang out for fun or make some new friends. Don't be in a hurry to get into a relationship. Remember that you still have the opportunity to meet other girls with their own strengths and privileges. This creates the realization that you can find the right girl when you're ready to fall in love again.
Don't compare the girl you want to be with with the girl you like because you'll think about it again
Step 4. Begin to open your heart when you are ready
Don't go on a date right away because you need to recuperate. You better open your heart when the time is right. When you're ready, ask another girl out or accept her if she started it.
- Don't be in a hurry. When dating again, take advantage of this opportunity to get to know each other while having fun.
- Don't tell the girl you used to like because the girl you're with will think you're not ready to date.
Tips
- Laugh often so that you feel happy. Watch comedy movies or have fun with humorous people.
- Avoid places he frequents and change his daily routine if possible.
Warning
- If you're feeling persistently sad, hopeless, or tired, you may be experiencing depression. Consult a professional therapist so that the complaint can be resolved.
- Alcohol consumption does not eliminate feelings of sadness and disappointment. You may forget about it for a while, but the problem will only get worse if you continue to drink alcohol.
