Did you just muster up the courage to confess to a friend but, sadly, hear rejection from his mouth? Does the situation feel even worse because he doesn't even want to talk to you anymore? If so, the consequences will surely suffocate your chest! So, is it possible for you to be friends with that person again after? Of course it's possible! Most importantly, both of you should have enough time to reflect on the situation in the relationship, understand how important the friendship is to each other, and work hard to reconnect with healthy boundaries.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Dealing with Awkwardness
Step 1. Make sure you have enough time to process the rejection
After accepting the rejection, make sure you give yourself enough time to process the situation and adjust. Chances are, after the confession you both will feel confused about the status of the existing relationship. That's why, both of you should take some time to reflect on the situation! If the two of you usually communicate on the weekends or text every day, try reducing the frequency.
- Remember, there is no best time to forget someone. Therefore, follow your instincts regarding the time and distance required, but don't avoid each other for too long.
- If you feel like you've managed to process the sadness that appears after a few days or a few weeks, call your friend back and try to invite them to chat and spend time together. If he still doesn't feel comfortable doing it, ask him how much time he needs and emphasize that you'll always feel ready to get back in touch if he no longer has any objections.
Step 2. Emphasize the importance of the friendship to you
Acknowledge the fact that your friendship may never feel the same as it used to be. However, don't deny the fact that being his friend is a very important need for you. So try to make it clear that despite the rejection, you still value his position as a friend. Also convey what the friendship means to you.
You could say, "As a friend, you are still very precious to me, and I still want to be friends with you even though it can feel a little awkward at first."
Step 3. Account for your confession
Accept the fact that your attempts to change your relationship status have real consequences. Also admit that you know that confession can make your friendship situation feel awkward. In addition, show that you are able to handle the rejection well. The trick is to validate your friend's feelings and don't try to change or argue with them.
You can say, “I know this situation must be awkward for you. Sorry, I've put you in this position. Thank you for listening to me."
Step 4. Describe your situation
Explain the reason behind your confession and let him know that everything that is said is the truth, especially since your friendship is always based on honesty, openness, and trust. If the two of you have been friends for a long time, spend quality time together, and build a relationship on a foundation of openness and honesty, the chances of reconnecting with him are very wide open.
You can say, "I'm going to be really sorry if I keep my feelings hidden. I'm glad to be honest with you because we've both been really good friends."
Step 5. Ask her needs
With your friends, try to discuss steps that can be taken to restore friendship to how it used to be. After hearing your confession, ask your friend's needs and wants. Also observe his response to the situation and ask for ideas for improving the relationship between the two of you.
Part 2 of 2: Making Friends Again
Step 1. Restore normalcy in the relationship
The sooner you can get back to normal interactions with him, the easier it will be for the two of you to be friends again without any awkwardness. Therefore, go back to spending time as usual with him to show that you have accepted his rejection. Do not avoid each other so that the awkwardness between the two of you does not increase and the friendship cannot be re-established.
Step 2. Create new and healthier boundaries
If you want to get back to normal communication and spend time with your friends like you used to, try making special boundaries or exceptions so that romantic feelings don't resurface. In other words, you'll need to make some changes to be able to reconnect with your friends without any unnecessary awkwardness. Some of the restrictions that need to be implemented are:
- Avoid seducing or teasing behavior, physical touch, and sexually suggestive remarks.
- Be careful when sharing your love life with other people.
- Don't keep the hope that one day, he might fall in love with you.
Step 3. Build new relationships and interests
Take time to do activities and explore new interests! Also take time to explore new friendships and romantic relationships with other people. Trust me, after that you will more easily forget romantic feelings for the person. Make sure you also build new friendships with people you can discuss dating and romance more openly with.
Step 4. Observe your pattern
Try exploring the reasons behind your desire to turn a friendship into a romantic one. In other words, identify a tendency to misunderstand your friend's attitude, a tendency to fall for someone who isn't really there for you, or a tendency to build intimacy with a friend too quickly. Once you find it, talk about the pattern with a counselor or a close friend to prevent you from repeating the same mistake of falling in love with the same person or another friend of yours. This pattern can arise because:
- You've been hurt in the past and are afraid to make a real commitment.
- You want to protect yourself from rejection in the future by choosing someone who doesn't seem interested in you or has never been there for you.
- You feel unworthy of receiving love from others.
Step 5. Learn from the experience and move on
Be thankful that unrequited love has actually opened your eyes to the most important values in relationships. In other words, you already know the most important values that must be in your partner, as well as the important aspects that can make you attracted to someone. Apply that knowledge in your other relationships and learn to strengthen intimacy with your friend in other relationships.
Tips
- Don't stay around him after being rejected. Doing so will only remind the person that he or she hasn't “given” what you want. Instead, learn to accept the rejection gracefully and move on with life without it. If you can't do it, surely you two won't be able to get back to being friends like before.
- Since this type of situation can be embarrassing for both parties, make sure you both get as much support as possible from each other, even those closest to you.
- If necessary, give your friend some time to think. However, do not intentionally avoid each other if you both want to maintain the friendship that has been established.
- In fact, you've been unfair in your friendship if you keep hoping that your love will be reciprocated.
