Do you find it difficult to go an hour – or even a minute – without thinking about your loved ones? If you know things are not going well with your loved one, then thinking about it will only give you more pain and heartache. The good news is that if you pay attention to it, you can spend more time doing the things you enjoy, with the people you care about, and loving your life back. This takes time, but with enough determination, you will forget what your loved ones are like before long.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Adjusting Your Mindset
Step 1. Let your emotions out
If you want to forget someone you love, then the first thing you should do is admit that you have strong feelings for that person. If you deny how much the person you love means to you, then you're just going to make all those terrible feelings inside instead of letting them go. Take time to cry, talk to a close friend about it, acknowledge how much you've been hurt, and acknowledge your feelings.
- Write down your feelings, if this helps. If you don't want to open up to your friends, journaling can also make you feel better.
- If you're going to be going mad for a while because things aren't working out with the person you love, that's okay. Let your friends know that you're going to be on your own for a little while and don't force yourself to be very social if you just don't feel like it.
- That said, after a few weeks or so, it's time to stop wallowing and start having some form of social interaction. If you spend too much time alone with your feelings, you may only feel worse.
Step 2. Forget about your anger and bitterness
You may have many reasons to feel angry or bitter. Maybe your loved one really hurt you. Maybe you are so sure that everything will work out and it doesn't. Maybe your loved one ends up dating one of your friends and you feel angry with both of them. These feelings will naturally follow your situation, but they don't necessarily mean they're healthy or that they can help you move forward.
- Write down all the reasons why you feel angry and bitter. Acknowledging your pain is crucial to getting over it. Once you know where all the negative feelings are coming from, you can start to beat them, one by one.
- If you come into contact with your loved one, don't let them see how angry and bitter you feel. The best thing you can do is act unconcerned, like you don't care what your loved one means. If you stay unconcerned, you'll be surprised at how quickly you'll actually start to feel that way.
Step 3. Focus on the worst qualities of the person you love
Stop thinking how handsome/beautiful, how cute, or sweet your loved one is whenever it pops into your mind. Instead, focus on all the bad parts of your loved one, from his odd sense of dress or his ability to be real to complete strangers. Make up for all of those qualities if they help. When your loved one comes to mind, bring out all these negative thoughts instead of positive thoughts. This will help you remember that the person you love isn't a really great person.
- If you think that the person you love is perfect and that you really can't think of a single bad thing about them, then guess what? You don't really know the person that well. There is no such thing as a perfect person and everyone has flaws.
- The more you think about the bad aspects of your loved one, the sooner you'll see that the two of you really aren't right for each other.
Step 4. Knowing that you deserve better
You may think that you and your loved ones will make the most perfect couple in the world, but that's not the case. If you really were meant to be together, then it would, wouldn't it? For whatever reason, it just doesn't work out between you and your loved one, and it seems like you're just too good for him. The person you love is not your soul mate, and once you realize that, you will be able to find someone worthy of you.
Of course, you've probably heard all your friends tell you that you deserve better than the person you love, over and over again, but this won't sink in until you figure it out yourself
Step 5. Remember how awesome you are
If you're feeling down in the dumps about things not working out with your loved ones, then it sounds like you need to pump yourself up. You may feel bad about yourself, and it seems like you're worthless in some ways because you don't date the person you love, but that's the furthest thing from reality. Remember your most amazing qualities, focus on all the great friends and opportunities in your life, and remember your favorite personal qualities. Keep telling yourself that you're an amazing person who only deserves the best – and the best isn't the person you love!
Staying positive is key here. If you focus on all the good things in your life and in your character rather than on the things you don't have, then you will be able to move forward more quickly than if you only saw the worst in every situation
Part 2 of 3: Getting Your Loved Out of Your Life
Step 1. Stop talking to your loved ones
It might sound obvious that you should stop talking to your crush if you want to get over them, but chances are you'll still talk to them even if you know it's not good for you. You don't have to be rude, but you should make it a point to avoid your loved one as much as you can. Stop texting, calling, or stop and say hi to your loved ones. The sooner you stop looking at your loved ones and listen to their voices, the sooner you'll be able to actually get your loved ones out of your life.
If you have to be in the same place as your loved ones, for example like a class, then you have to be kind and polite in doing so. There's no need to be rude and it won't make you feel any better
Step 2. Stop talking about your loved ones
While talking to a close friend about forgetting your loved one can help you move forward, if you talk about your loved one to everyone you meet or every friend you have, then you won't feel better right away. You don't have to deny your feelings, but if you keep mentioning the person you love, you will only open old wounds and remind yourself of what hurt you.
If you have friends in common, avoid asking about how your loved one is doing. How will that make you feel better?
Step 3. Avoid your loved ones on social media
If you're just going to Facebook, Instagram, or any other networking site to stalk your loved one and see if he or she has been dating any other cute girls in your chemistry class, then you should take a break from social media. If you really like Facebook, then avoid the temptation to click on their profile and use it to stay in touch with people who actually make you feel good. Seeing pictures of your loved ones is guaranteed to make you feel bad, so stop hurting yourself.
Give yourself a time limit – let's say you're only going to spend 15 minutes a day on Facebook. If you want to spend that time stalking the person you love, then you won't be able to see what people who really care about you are doing
Step 4. Avoid places where your loved ones are likely to be
While you don't have to completely change your schedule, if you really want to forget your loved ones, then you should try to avoid all the places where you know you'll find them. Don't go to his favorite restaurant or movie theater if you're pretty sure he'll be there on a Friday night. If you know he's going to a party and you're still feeling sick, then find something else to do.
This doesn't mean that your loved one “wins” and that you can't do fun things anymore; what it means is that you should avoid it for a while until you feel better
Step 5. Mix up your routine
If you want to get your loved ones out of your life, then this is the right time. Have something different for breakfast. Meet new friends for lunch rather than the same old friends. Take up a new hobby. Driving to school or to work a different route. While these changes may not be directly related to the person you love, simply making an effort to break out of the mindset that keeps you fixated on the person you love can help you start seeing the world differently and stop thinking the same thoughts around you. people you love.
Thinking about it: is there a particular time of the day when you mostly think about your loved ones? If so, could you do something different during that time so you're more likely to forget about it? For example, if you're always looking out the window of the bus you're on when you get home and thinking sad things about your loved one, find a new album and listen to it on your way home so that it becomes a positive experience, rather than a time to relax. think about the people you love
Part 3 of 3: Moving forward
Step 1. Lean on your friends and family
One great way to forget someone you love is to spend as much time as possible with the people who mean the most to you. Your friends and family have been there for you and they will make you feel better about your romantic situation just by being there for you. While your social routine doesn't have to be so busy that you don't have time for yourself, you should make an effort to spend more time with the people you love, so you'll be grateful for all the positive relationships in your life – rather than obsessing over it. with unsuccessful relationships.
Don't spend Friday and Saturday nights alone or you'll wish you were with your loved ones. Instead, hang out with your female or male friends, and you will have so much fun that you will forget your loved ones
Step 2. Do what you love
Spending time doing things that matter to you is definitely a way to get all thoughts of your loved one out of your mind. You should be spending more time pursuing your favorite hobby, whether it's running or painting, exercising, reading, or just doing whatever makes you happy. Maybe you think you are too busy to do the things you care about. If that's the case, then make time by cutting out other things in your life; If you are committed to pursuing your passion, then all thoughts about your loved ones will slowly fade away.
Maybe you feel devastated about your loved one because you don't have a lot of things you really like. It might be time to discover what your passion really is by taking classes outside of your comfort zone, signing up for photography, dancing, acting, or singing classes, or just trying to do something completely new that you think will make you happy
Step 3. Enjoy your own time
While spending time with your friends and family and doing your favorite things can make you forget your loved ones, if you really want to find peace with yourself, then you should feel comfortable spending time with your favorite people – Yourself. If you're really sad and angry when you're not busy, then you haven't really forgotten the person you love. Make a “weekly date with yourself” and spend that time doing the things you really enjoy – or just relaxing and watching your favorite TV show or taking a hot shower. It doesn't matter what you do – what matters is that you enjoy it yourself.
Don't let sudden plans with friends get in the way of your time alone. You should value your alone time as if it were a date with your favorite celebrity
Step 4. Get out of the house
Don't just sit in the hole in your dark, sad cave thinking all the reasons why it didn't work out with the person you love; go outside and get some fresh air. Just being outside in the sun and breathing fresh air instead of being at home will make you feel more alive, alert, energetic, and happier. If you have to do some work, then don't stay in your room and instead go to the coffee shop or to the park. Just being around people, even if you don't talk to them, will make you think less about your loved ones.
Make sure to get out of the house at least once a day, even if it's just for a half hour walk. Staying inside all day is guaranteed to make anyone unhappy, whether they're trying to forget someone or not
Step 5. Love your single life
If you really want to forget the person you love, then you can't just feel sorry for yourself and wait for someone new to show up. You have to really enjoy being alone, doing your own thing, hanging out with friends, and doing some flirting that will get nowhere. You should appreciate the freedom that singleness can bring and know that, while dating someone can be fun and fulfilling, it doesn't determine whether you are happy or sad.
Give it time. It can take weeks, or even months, to appreciate being single, but once you do, you'll see that you never really needed the person you love – what you need is the idea that the person you love love will lead you to happiness, but in the end it is not the answer you are looking for
Step 6. Get ready for your new loved one
Once you've done the right things – adjusted your perspective, pushed aside thoughts of your loved ones, moved forward to do the things that make you happy – then you can truly congratulate yourself on forgetting the person you loved. you love. You've seen how great your life would be without your loved ones, how awesome you are, and how lucky you are to have the life you have. If you have forgotten the person you love, then you can slowly start to open your heart and start falling for someone new.
If you are really moving forward, then celebrate your victories and get excited about all the love that is to come
Tips
- If you find yourself brooding, remind yourself: there's no reason to waste your time on someone who doesn't realize how special you are. You deserve better.
- There are many people in the world with whom you can be happy. Maybe this person used to be one of them, maybe not. Either way, there are many people, including many people you haven't met, who are special or will be special to you. It's time to shift focus to them.
- Avoid looking at your loved ones' web pages and social network pages. Don't ask mutual friends about details of his life. There was no need to keep up with what he was doing. You've got your own life to live.
- Don't try to rush the process. You are human and it's okay to feel hurt sometimes.
- Trust me, no matter what you do, this loved one will fade with the passage of time.
Warning
- Don't let your own musings and fantasies about your loved ones become endless – there are other things you can do with your time.
- Don't talk behind the back of your loved ones. Saying outrageous things about other people will mostly make you look bad, not them.
