Do the attitudes of your partner or other female friends look different? Do you feel like you are being treated unkindly or are you receiving other signals that make you uncomfortable? Instead of ignoring him, try to identify the root of the problem to make sure that he's really angry, and that your thinking isn't really overkill. To detect a woman's anger, the most important thing you need to do is read her body language and communication signals. In addition, you can also seek information from the people closest to him, then invite him to talk one-on-one to solve problems that occur.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Reading Body Language and Its Communication Signals
Step 1. Be aware of covert body language
Remember, not everyone expresses anger verbally. Therefore, you should also watch for various nonverbal signals that indicate his anger, such as a quivering body and sweating, or a flushed face. Unfortunately, not all signs can be seen clearly. Therefore, you should also be wary if he is seen:
- Clenching his hands tightly or tightening his jaw
- Avoiding your gaze
- Positioning his body so that it is not facing you
- Crossing his arms in front of his chest
- Frowning, rolling eyes, or giving other expressions that are no less cold
Step 2. Listen to the tone of the voice
If his tone sounds mocking or stifled, as if his teeth are clenched together, it's likely that he's really annoyed with you. Alternatively, he may use a sarcastic tone or appear scornful when you are taking him seriously. Also beware when he starts:
- Shout
- snap at you
- Turn up the volume
- Speaks in an angry tone to you
Step 3. Observe if he doesn't reply to your messages or calls
Most women express their anger by cutting off communication via text messages or the phone. In other words, he will ignore your calls and/or text messages you send. Or, he may respond in a longer time than usual.
- If he texts you back, try to identify passive-aggressive anger, such as a short or sarcastic reply. For example, be wary of her replying something like, "You think?" when you ask how he is.
- If he suddenly ends his text messages with a “period”, it's very likely that he's harboring a grudge against you.
Part 2 of 3: Communicating with People Close to You
Step 1. Find information from close friends
If the woman does cut off communication with you, try contacting her close friends to find out the reason for her anger. You can ask, "Lately you had a chance to chat with person A, didn't you?" and "He's still mad at me, isn't he?" Chances are, her friends will respond in an affirmative way and even help contact the woman to answer your questions.
- Choose people with whom the woman still communicates regularly, such as her schoolmates.
- Respect the person and don't force them to share any information with you.
- If he asks you to communicate directly with the woman in question, respect her opinion and don't make her feel guilty for refusing to explain the situation.
Step 2. Talk to your parents or close relatives
If you want, you can also seek information from his family, especially if he is really close and often shares stories with them. For example, try contacting a relative who is close to him and who also knows you. then politely ask her the reason for her anger.
If you want, you can also contact their parents, especially if you already have a good relationship with them
Step 3. Talk to your mutual friend
If you both have friends in common, try to get information about the woman's condition to them. For example, ask if he seems aggressive or annoyed with you, and if he's recently said anything negative about you. By doing so, you will undoubtedly be helped to measure the level of anger.
- If your mutual friend also looks annoyed with you, chances are that the woman has already told them about her problem. Ask what is really going on.
- If they refuse to share their problems, try asking another friend. If their response is still the same, it means you have to think of another tactic.
Part 3 of 3: One-on-one Chat With Him
Step 1. Find a quiet, less crowded place to chat with her
For example, ask him to meet at your apartment, city park, or your favorite place together on campus. As difficult as it may be, initiating an honest and serious conversation can help you to defuse his anger, understand the reasons behind his annoyance, and deal with any problems that arise.
Let him choose the location. This will make it easier for him to speak up because he feels he has control over the situation
Step 2. Offer a reconciliation call
There's nothing wrong with offering a truce by giving him an object that is simple and meaningful to him, like his favorite item or food, especially if the blame is on your side. Or, give him flowers to show that you've managed to "catch" his signal of annoyance and regret your mistake.
- This method will also make the communication process between the two of you easier afterward, especially since the meaningful object has actually acted as a "bridge" to a more positive discussion process.
- Don't overdo it, especially if the two of you are out in public. Trust me, he won't want to be in the public eye if he's angry with you.
Step 3. Ask your mistake directly
If you don't know what you did wrong, try starting the conversation by asking the question directly. For example, you might say, “I know you're angry, but I don't know why. May I know the reason, no?”
Don't ask this if you already know the reason. Trust me, doing so will only make him angrier
Step 4. Apologize and correct your mistake
If you've realized your mistake, offer a sincere and honest apology. Start by acknowledging your mistake, and offering an honest and straightforward apology. For example, you might say, “Are you mad because I forgot your birthday last week. Sorry, I had so much work that I forgot that it was your birthday. I sincerely apologize and promise never to do it again.”
- After apologizing, immediately ask, "You want to forgive me, don't you?" If he's willing to do it, don't forget to show your gratitude!
- Correct your mistakes through concrete actions. For example, if you forgot his birthday, try to correct the mistake by taking him to dinner at a special place and promising not to repeat the same mistake next year.
