Since most of your time is spent with coworkers in the office, it's only natural that once-professional feelings slowly begin to transform into romantic attraction. If you're interested in approaching a coworker in the office and flirting with him, go for it! However, make sure your efforts remain friendly and are carried out with extreme care, so that the situation between the two of you doesn't feel awkward or uncomfortable afterward.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Keeping Relationships Friendly
Step 1. Smile at him
Although very simple, a smile and politeness are the perfect way to show your interest! Since the atmosphere in the workplace is generally very professional, try to show him a more cheerful and friendly attitude to set him apart from the rest of your coworkers.
A smile or a light joke is a polite form of flirting and doesn't violate professional boundaries. If he smiles back at you and gives you a positive response, chances are he's also interested in you. However, if he seems to be avoiding or resisting your efforts, back off immediately without feeling embarrassed
Step 2. Use work to lighten the mood
For example, try adding a light joke to your email about work, or sending a funny picture of an online chat app while the two of you are at work. In addition, you can also make a light joke about the meeting you both attended in the morning.
Remember, the two of you have at least one thing in common: work. Why not use it to initiate a conversation with him? However, make sure you don't bring up unnecessary gossip about other coworkers, especially since you'll want to be seen as a positive person by them. Also avoid rude jokes to keep your relationship on a casual and friendly path
Step 3. Offer to help complete a project he's working on
If he is entrusted with a major project or has to work late at the office, offer to accompany and help him. Ask him what kind of help he needs. Believe me, light-handed is a very friendly character. Plus, he'll know that you're interested in spending more time with him.
If he misses an important meeting or doesn't come into the office when new equipment or policies are announced, jot down all the information on a piece of paper and give it to him, or pass the information on over the phone. Once again, you've helped him as well as managed to show interest in him! Try saying, “Uh, you didn't come in yesterday, did you? Here, I've noted down some of the things that were said at the meeting for you." As a result, he will also know that you are aware of his absence
Step 4. Buy him coffee or lunch
Coffee or lunch is a form of "reward" that doesn't sound too aggressive. Its meaning is much more neutral than flowers, but it can still show that you are thinking about it. In addition, you also have the opportunity to approach him and initiate conversations with topics outside of work with him.
When you're about to order coffee, ask him if he'd like it too. If so, he will most likely mention the name of the menu he orders most often. As a result, you also know what to order for him in the future! Plus, you'll have the opportunity to express your interest in him, smile for him, and offer to do something positive for him without sacrificing professionalism
Step 5. Keep physical contact to a minimum
Having physical contact in public places, especially in the office, can make other people feel uncomfortable. In addition, your co-workers may also report these actions to your boss. After all, physical contact such as touch can also make him feel uncomfortable. Surely that's not what you want, right?
- So stay professional, even when you're flirting. Remember, seduction can also be made without the slightest touch, you know! In other words, focusing on making eye contact, smiling, or glancing at the woman of your dreams can be just as effective as touch. However, don't overdo all three of them which could make your behavior considered inappropriate by him. If you want, you can also compliment his work ethic or a project he just completed well.
- In order to avoid negative problems, it's best to keep the relationship between the two of you light and polite. In other words, don't make comments that are sexually suggestive or risk offending. Such comments could also lead him to report you to the HR department with a sexual harassment charge.
Part 2 of 3: Seducing Coworkers Outside the Office
Step 1. Invite him to travel with you after work
First of all, also invite your other co-workers so that he doesn't immediately suspect the invitation. In addition, you will not look too aggressive because of it. After that, start asking him to travel alone after work.
Be as casual as possible! In other words, make invitations as if you're still going, with or without them. Such an invitation will sound non-intimidating and not indicate a “date” desire. Therefore, try saying, “Uh, I want to have a drink at the cafe near the office, tonight. You want to come, don't you?"
Step 2. Find common ground with him outside of work
One of the challenges in approaching or seducing coworkers is that it is difficult to maintain a conversation topic outside of work. Therefore, try to always bring up topics that are personal, such as activities that he often does outside of office hours. In addition to showing your romantic interest, doing so will also give you a more in-depth picture of his characteristics and personality as an individual.
If your office has a workspace, desk, or cubicle, try glancing at it deliberately as you pass the cubicle, and observe the items lying on the desk. That way, you'll know what their interests are and can use them to initiate a conversation
Step 3. Take her to lunch together when it's break time
One way to spend time alone with him without the pressure is to take him out to lunch with him. For example, you can take him out to lunch together outside the office during his break, or sit next to him while he's eating in his cubicle.
Lunch is the perfect moment to initiate a conversation, lighten the mood, and get to know the woman of your dreams better. By asking him to do activities outside the office, both of you will not be overshadowed by the eyes of other coworkers. As a result, interactions can take place more comfortably and casually
Step 4. Don't be too aggressive
Even though the first step has been taken by him, still act with caution. Of course you don't want to rush back to his intimacy and end up accepting demands from him if the situation gets worse, right? Therefore, stick to body language and conversational topics that are light, friendly, and polite.
Dating and seducing coworkers is actually not easy to do. Therefore, make sure that you are not overly aggressive at the start of the process, and that you never ignore his body language and other signals that he wants to know what he wants
Part 3 of 3: Understanding the Risks
Step 1. Understand the policy regarding romantic relationships between workers
Some businesses or companies have very strict rules regarding romantic relationships between employees. If violated, the worst consequence is dismissal! Therefore, make sure you know the rules or policies that apply before seducing any woman.
Sometimes, the policy only applies to two employees who have different positions. For example, a boss may not date or approach his subordinates. There are also some companies that do not have such policies or rules
Step 2. Don't approach more than one woman at the same time
In addition to being disrespectful, these actions can also tarnish your image if caught. If you are determined to approach one woman, hang on to that woman and don't make advances on other women!
Gossip tends to spread easily in the office environment. Of course you don't want to be offended negatively by others and end up with a bad image, right? Trust me, these situations can make your work environment feel very unpleasant
Step 3. Do not seduce your boss or subordinates
Such types of relationships can lead to conflict in the office, especially since allegations of discrimination from other employees could potentially arise as a result. Therefore, make sure you only seduce or approach women of equal rank!
In fact, women are more prone to receiving criticism for dating their co-workers. Therefore, make sure you do not put the woman in a position that is vulnerable to being judged negatively by others
Step 4. Understand that he may not want to accept your advances
If he always responds negatively to your body language and jokes, or even avoids you completely, back off immediately. Otherwise, he may report your behavior to your boss or be very awkward around you.
- If he doesn't respond to your pleas or looks like he wants to stop what you're doing, don't hesitate to listen to your instincts and stop pushing yourself. Be careful, he could sue you with sexual harassment complaints or report your actions to your boss!
- If he seems uncomfortable or less receptive to your flirting at work, try to communicate your regrets after work. On that occasion, say sorry and provide a relevant explanation. Chances are, that response he gave only because the two of you were still in the office. Therefore, try to read the body language and nonverbal signals it gives. If he does seem evasive, annoyed, or annoyed, get out of your way right away!
Step 5. Realize that failed employee relationships can make work situations less pleasant
If your relationship with a coworker gradually deteriorates, it's more likely that you will feel uncomfortable or awkward. Besides being burdened with awkwardness when you have to move around him, you also run the risk of becoming the object of gossip in the office.
Therefore, before approaching colleagues, try to consider the advantages and disadvantages first. If the drawbacks outweigh the advantages, or if the impact is risky and can make the situation in the office feel uncomfortable, it's a good idea to switch to someone else who doesn't work in the same office as you
Tips
Take time to process without rushing. Remember, you always have time to meet him again
Warning
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Don't force your will!
If he emphatically states his refusal, step back and move on without him. If he says he just wants to be friends with you, accept the refusal and respect his decision.
- Back off if he seems uncomfortable around you.
