Do you like a guy in a convenience store? Maybe a guy from another class you passed in the hallway? Want to start talking to these guys, to turn them from strangers to girlfriends? Wikihow can help! With a few simple tricks, you'll be talking to the guy in no time. See Step 1 below to get started.
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Part 1 of 4: Prepare for Success
Step 1. Practice speaking with strangers
The best place to start if you want to successfully talk to men is to train yourself to talk to strangers. Talk to a convenience store clerk, strike up a conversation with an old woman in a park, talk to a man in a science fiction aisle at a bookstore… You must have an idea. If you want to approach a guy in a way that seems normal, you have to do it the same way you approach anyone else, so training with normal people is the best way to prepare.
Step 2. Pay attention to how you look and smell
This doesn't mean you have to look like a model, but you certainly shouldn't look like you just got out of your local mental hospital. Maintain personal hygiene and wear clean clothes that fit well and fit your body. For the same reason you should also smell good. Just shower and apply deodorant. A little perfume is better, but don't overdo it.
Step 3. Watch him before speaking
Do not immediately rush to the sexy man. Take a minute to look at it. You should use what you see to estimate what he might be happy to talk about and whether he will welcome you. Pay attention to his behavior and the way he interacts with those around him. You should also see what he's wearing. Wedding rings, no. Items that seem sentimental (like a hand-knitted hat), may have a lover. Open your eyes to find something that can start a conversation.
Step 4. Avoid certain locations
Inviting a man to have a conversation in several locations is sometimes inappropriate. If he's clearly with a business partner or boss, don't disturb him. Public transportation is also a bad idea, because usually someone is tired or busy when taking public transportation.
Step 5. Speak where there are other people too
Talk to him in a place where there are a lot of people around. This not only gives you a reason to talk, but it eliminates feeling like you want something.
Step 6. Go alone, whenever possible
Try to approach him when he's alone, but also avoid bringing male/female friends. This makes you look like people looking for a sex partner. Bringing a friend out in this situation shows that you've taken everything into account, which can send a guy the wrong message.
Part 2 of 4: Finding Reasons to Talk
Step 1. Talk about something going on around you
When you're looking for an excuse to start a conversation with a guy, start with something that's going on around you. For example, you could comment on an event flyer you saw nearby ("Hi, you live in this area? I saw a farmer's market but haven't been there yet. Any good ones?"). You can also comment about other people, if you see someone or something fun ("You saw that one earlier? Too bad we don't see that often.").
Step 2. Ask questions
If you see she's wearing something interesting, like a T-shirt with an event or university logo, you can ask her about it ("Have you ever been to Burning Man? I've always wanted to go there."). You can also ask about items he's holding, such as books ("Is that a good book? I'm looking for a book for my reading list this holiday.").
Step 3. Give him a compliment
Look what he's wearing. If she's wearing something nice, she's probably quite proud of it and giving compliments would be a great way to get her attention. Especially if she wears nice shoes. Watches, ties, and cufflinks are usually sources of male pride as well.
Step 4. Ask for help with small things
Everyone likes to feel like they matter, so help him feel like a hero in your efforts to start a conversation. Ask if he would like to help you get something close by. Ask him to keep you in line while you grab something fast (run up and grab the closest item in the corner). Ask for directions. These are all great ways to start a conversation.
Step 5. Pretend to know or remember
Look into his eyes and let him see you're looking at him with a confused expression. Then, approach him and say something like, "Sorry to interrupt, but I'm sure we've met. I can't remember where but… I don't want to be rude and make you think like I don't know." Then start guessing to find out where you've met before (Where do you work? Volunteer work? And so on…)
Part 3 of 4: Learning what to say
Step 1. Introduce yourself
Once you've passed the first gate, it's a good idea to give a basic introduction. The name alone is enough. More information would seem too personal.
Step 2. Don't start by asking about the job
This is a classic move but best avoided. Asking a guy what he does for a living in the first place (unless it's relevant to the conversation) gives the impression that you're just a treasure hunter. Not the best way to get to know someone!
Step 3. Focus on the conversation about him
Talking to someone who is clearly only interested in himself isn't fun at all, so provide information about yourself but take the opportunity to direct the conversation back about him. So, for example, if he asks you something about yourself, ask him the same thing.
Step 4. Use open-ended questions
When asking, try to use the help of open-ended questions. These questions can't be answered with just a yes or no, which helps to move the conversation in an interesting direction. Open-ended questions usually begin with the words "why" or "how". The "when" and "who" questions usually don't get long answers.
Step 5. Find common ground
Ask questions and try to draw some similarities. These similarities don't need to be much but can help you bond and definitely keep the conversation flowing. Ask him what he likes in the context of the ongoing conversation. If neither of you have anything in common, that's okay: just ask him why he feels the way he does with courtesy and curiosity.
Step 6. Read the cue
If he seems displeased, just back off. You won't get anything. Look for a closed posture or slightly away from you. Listen to the way he responds when you talk. Does he give the shortest possible answer and try to close the conversation? These are all bad signs. But if he moves closer, gives a long answer, or flirts a bit, you've made it.
Step 7. Give him your number
If he seems open and responsive, you can give him a number anyway! Don't give him a business card, just in case he turns out to be a weirdo (you don't want him to show up at your office). Just give a scribble on a piece of paper. We wish you good luck!
Part 4 of 4: Getting Additional Help
Step 1. Improve your confidence
Confidence will not only make a man more attracted to you (and attract the right kind of guy!), but it will also make it easier for you to approach men. Gaining confidence is not so difficult! Give yourself the opportunity to do things that make you proud and accept the idea that you don't have to be perfect.
Step 2. Learn the art of seduction
Flirting like an expert will make it easier for you to impress and convey your wishes to the handsome stranger. Just be careful not to sound scary!
Step 3. Master the ability to speak with strangers
It's sometimes difficult to learn to have a pleasant and comfortable conversation with a stranger, but you can learn with help and practice.
Step 4. Improve your conversational skills with men
You also want to be better at talking to men. While talking to them is a bit more difficult sometimes than talking to girls, it's usually just a matter of learning the right rhythm and what they enjoy talking about. You can do it!
Step 5. Ask her out
Being shy and expecting him to ask you out often isn't going to get you anywhere, and it often does. Sometimes you have to take the initiative! Don't feel bad: it shows your strengths to the right kind of guy.
Step 6. Start looking for a good guy
If meeting strangers only lands you with not-so-nice guys, maybe you should consider focusing on finding nice guys (rather than just good-looking or attractive guys).
Tips
- Be positive and expect a happy response from the man. He will be mesmerized when you approach him. If you approach a man, you will stand out from the crowd because most women are shy about it. Different is interesting!
- This is no longer the 1920's. Women are now free and strong. One of the most attractive qualities a woman can have is self-confidence. A woman who sees what she wants and takes it is a very sexy woman! So go ahead and get the guy you want. Do not be afraid. Shyness is sweet, but confidence is sexy. As a man I can't even describe how sexy it is when a woman is aggressive and confident.
- Make sure you make eye contact and smile at him before saying anything! What I mean is a real smile. Show your teeth.
