Approaching a girl in public can be scary at times. However, if you pay attention to his body language and respect his personal boundaries, you won't come off as a scary freak. With confidence and practice, you can learn how to approach a girl and have a chat with her!
Step
Part 1 of 3: Measuring His Attractiveness
Step 1. Make eye contact
If you see an attractive girl, try to catch her eye before engaging her in a conversation. Avert your eyes for a few minutes, then look at him again. If he sees you stealing glances at him, he will know that he has your attention and that you are attracted to him.
- If you look at each other like this several times, it may be a sign that he wants you to approach him. Three glances from a girl is a signal that she is interested.
- Eye contact activates the brain's reward center, making it the most powerful medium to attract someone.
Step 2. Smile
A smile is the perfect way to show interest in someone. If he smiles back, it's a sign that maybe he's interested too. After a few looks at each other and smiling, try to approach him, say hello, and ask him what he's doing. For example, “Hi, I can't help but watch you from there. What are you studying/reading/doing?”
Step 3. Assess whether her body language is positive
While reading body language is not an exact science, there are certain behaviors that indicate that someone is interested in chatting. If he's facing away or leaning toward you, it probably means he's comfortable being approached.
If he stares or smiles at you, it could also be a sign that he's willing to be approached
Step 4. Check for negative body language
If a girl doesn't want to be approached, she will generally show a closed signal. Some of the indicators that are usually displayed are facing the other way, crossing your arms, listening to music, reading a book, frowning, or turning around. While not a perfect indicator, expressions and body language like this usually mean you have to leave him alone. Appreciate it and forget it if he doesn't respond with positive and open body language.
Part 2 of 3: Talking
Step 1. Start chatting with him
There are several ways to start a chat. For example, you could ask if she makes her own earrings/dress/other cool stuff she wears. You could also say, “You know what caught my eye about you? The color of your dress matches your eyes very well. Good. Don't be shy about commenting on something interesting and/or quirky, but don't tease or poke fun at the first time you chat.
- If you're in a place like a bookstore or comic shop, ask him what his favorite book is or what he's currently reading. You can also comment on the atmosphere of the store, such as “It's cool in here, isn't it?” or “Why do I find this place so weird that it's painted orange?” to start a chat.
- If he doesn't seem interested in chatting, leave. There are many ways to find out, such as not looking back at you, answering one syllable, or looking the other way to escape.
- If he's interested, you'll see it in the eye contact, the smile, and sometimes the leaning toward you.
Step 2. Listen as he speaks
If he wants to chat or say something, give him your full attention and listen actively. Don't play with your phone or let your attention be distracted by other things. That way, he knows that you are interested in what he has to say. Plus, you'll get to know him better, have the opportunity to continue the conversation, and show that you're personally interested in him.
Ways to listen actively are through eye contact, nodding, smiling, and expressing agreement with verbal cues such as “yes” or “hmm”
Step 3. Don't overthink it
When approaching a girl, don't give the impression that you are trying your hardest. Approach casually, but friendly. Try some light humor to start with. Give the impression that you are greeting a friend or acquaintance. If you're nervous, just pretend that you're confident and not nervous at all.
Step 4. Practice what you want to say
Think of something before you approach him so you don't choke and get too nervous to talk. Practice your words several times in your head, or say them out loud when you are alone.
- You can practice the words in your head. If you are alone or in a comfortable place, such as in the bathroom, speak in a normal voice to allow yourself to be with words, tone, and intonation.
- If you're not comfortable practicing in a normal voice, try saying it silently or writing it down a few times until you feel comfortable.
Step 5. Approach him even if he is with his friends
Try to chat with everyone, not just him. You can say, "I'm curious, it looks like you guys are talking about something funny, must be that guy in the orange shirt over there…" or something that is also ridiculous and/or sarcastic.
Don't be afraid to approach a group of girls. If you are confident, you will be admired for having that belief and courage
Part 3 of 3: Connecting
Step 1. Have him exchange contact information
If he seems interested and you're still interested, try making plans to meet again. Provide your phone number and email address. So, he can control the situation. You'll know he's interested when you call. If not, just let it be. He owed nothing even though he might have liked to chat.
You can ask for the number or give your number. When giving your number, you can say something casual, like, "Hey, I'll give you my number while it's not separated," and write it down or enter it on his cell phone (if he offers). If you have a business card, give it away instead of having to write down contact information even though the business card may seem more formal
Step 2. Ask her out on a date
If it's still noon, before 5 p.m., suggest a coffee somewhere by saying, “Would you like some coffee?”. If it's past 5 pm, take him to dinner. For example, “Want to find something to eat?” If he can't then, ask him what his plans are for the weekend. Say, “You have any plans this weekend? Want to go out with me?”
- Choose a public place for the date so he feels comfortable. Think about the place first, or ask if he knows a good one.
- If it's revealed through chat that you both have the same interests or hobbies, you can suggest casually doing those hobbies/interests together. For example, "My friends and I want to hunt for scenic photos by the river this Saturday afternoon, would you like to join?" Inviting him to events or activities out in the open and involving other people will make him more comfortable. Other than that, there is no pressure on either of you.
Step 3. Appreciate him
This is the most important part when you want to approach a girl in any situation in a public place. Show respect by speaking politely. Don't swear, make fun of her, comment on her body parts in inappropriate ways, and make dirty jokes. Respect shows that you are a good person and can be trusted. You can prove this trustworthy quality by appreciating the people around you, your friends and family, as well as their friends and family. If he's not interested, accept it and leave him.
Tips
- Personal hygiene is very important. So, don't forget to take a shower, brush your teeth, clean your ears, cut your nails, etc.
- Don't be discouraged if things don't go according to plan. That's life, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.
- Avoid talking about vague interests, unless you both like them. For example, if you both like sports, team chats and watching a game can be on the agenda for a date.
- Do not be stingy. If he's progressed far enough, buy him a drink, treat him to a meal, and pay him a taxi home. If he insists on paying himself, say, "I pay now, you later." However, if he really wants to pay, don't be forced. Say that it's your turn to pay at the next meeting. This is a great gesture to ensure a second date.
- You have to be sincere, especially at the first meeting.
- Ask your sister, aunt, or female friend for advice. They are all women, there must be some advice you can take advantage of.
- Make sure the chat is two-way. There's nothing more irritating than a chat that's dominated by one person. Ask her opinion, and listen. It shows that you care what he thinks and that you care about him.
- Women like to be asked questions, that's how you can make her comfortable and safe around you. For example, ask, “How are you doing today?”, “What are your interests?”, “You have real friends?” or “Are you always in contact with your family?” Women like men who are very close to family.
- Important: Don't bother him because you think he likes it. Treat a girl like in a fancy party. Don't do tricks or tell jokes until he's your friend.
Warning
- If you get rejected in public, don't react negatively, just smile and move on as if nothing happened.
- Don't be pretentious by acting like you can understand the true meaning of a woman's words. If he says he's not interested, it means he's not interested, it's not just a tame pigeon.
- If you approach a girl who is with her friends, be prepared to impress them all.
- Appreciate him. Treat him like a human, don't be too presumptuous and seduce.
- Don't make a girl smile. There are some people who like to make women smile, and that's really annoying.
- Don't approach a girl at the gym. He was there to exercise, and it was rare for a woman to be seduced in that condition.
