Sometimes it seems that all the best girls have partners. Now you've found a very attractive girl who feels like a strong bond with you, but she already has a boyfriend. Here we present some ideas for seizing it, from the frank way to the secret with a little manipulation. You are free to decide, is everything legalized in love and war?
Step
Method 1 of 3: Expressing Feelings
Step 1. Re-evaluate your relationship with him
You should determine whether your feelings are worth expressing by considering the strength of the relationship between the two of you.
- Imagine you confess your feelings to him. Is your relationship strong enough to last if he doesn't feel the same way, or if he likes you too but decides to stay with his girlfriend? If the answer is yes, maybe you should give it a try. If not, consider this option carefully.
- If you haven't known him that long, this might not be a good choice. He may think your feelings are frivolous or come out of nowhere.
- Make a list of pros and cons to weigh the risks and benefits of expressing your feelings. In addition, also consider the risks and benefits not stated. Will the results be worth it?
Step 2. Plan what you want to say
Structure the conversation carefully so he knows you're not demanding. Discuss the scenario with your friend to eliminate convoluted words. A third person can provide insight into your choice of words.
Step 3. Gather courage
You will definitely be nervous. Not only can this expression of feelings change your relationship with him, but it can also affect your relationship with his girlfriend or other friends in common. Fear indicates that the outcome of this conversation is important to you. After deciding that your feelings should be expressed, use the fear as a motivation, not a barrier.
Step 4. Say it
Once you've gathered your courage, tell him how you feel.
- When you're alone, say something that goes something like this: “Ki, I know you're going out with Sam, and I don't want to ruin our friendship either, but I'm starting to have other feelings for you. I just want you to know that." If you think he feels the same way, you can add, "I think you do too, I just wanted to make sure."
- If he's signaling that he's interested too, he should know not to give you different signals.
Step 5. Appreciate the answer
You've weighed the risks and benefits of this decision, and you know there's a chance he won't respond as expected. You have to be able to accept and appreciate the answer, especially if you want to remain friends.
- Maybe he says he doesn't feel the same way for you. Rejection hurts, but it's a way to reduce ego and grow as a person.
- He may say that he has feelings for you, but he wants to stay with his girlfriend because they have a strong relationship that is also based on sincere feelings. This is harder to accept because there seems to be hope, but once he informs you of the decision to stay with his girlfriend, it's best to just forget about it.
- Don't torture yourself. Continuing to wait and hope he will change his mind is just a waste of time. If you accept the answer, you're better off moving on and looking for romance elsewhere.
Method 2 of 3: Secret Seduction
Step 1. Make yourself a constant part of his life
If he only sees you occasionally, you won't be able to inhabit his mind. If you want to have a chance, you have to see him regularly.
- Join his group of friends. Take his best friend's heart. If his friends like you, chances are he will too. Being part of his group of friends will ensure that you will be invited to the events he attends.
- Get the phone number. Wait for a reasonable opportunity to ask for the number. If your conversation is suddenly cut short, ask for the number to continue the chat. If you're planning a get-together with your own friends, that's the perfect excuse to ask for the number.
Step 2. Highlight the good qualities of yourself
Make sure he sees that you are a positive person in his life. Is your sense of humor good? Do you have strong empathy and can talk about your feelings openly? Are you a creative person? Insert these positive attributes into conversations with him or his friends. He will begin to realize what he is missing.
Step 3. Look for weak points in his current love relationship
No relationship is perfect and there may be something about his girlfriend that he doesn't like.
- Ask about the relationship casually. Once he starts to trust you, he will be willing to share stories. If he says that his girlfriend never bothers to listen to how his day goes, don't say that you would always be willing to listen if you were his girlfriend. Just save this information. Another day, make sure you ask about the day and listen actively.
- If you chat with her friends in her absence, watch if they start gossiping. Maybe they have something to say about the relationship, in which you can play on your strengths as opposed to their boyfriend's weaknesses.
Step 4. Take steps
You have slowly come into his life so that he now sees you in a positive light. You can decide whether to approach verbally or physically. Will you express interest or simply lean over to kiss him? Wait for the opportunity when you are alone and in a supportive environment.
Step 5. Be prepared for the reaction
Even if you've been thinking about this for a while, it might be unexpected for him.
- If he says he's interested in you too, give him time to decide if he wants to act. Don't press it. That will drive him away and actually thwart your efforts.
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If you get physically involved with him, be aware that there will be consequences. Realistically, he's bound to feel guilty and maybe angry at you for not appreciating his relationship status. Chances are you'll ruin any relationship that exists between you and his girlfriend, and possibly any of the same friends.
If you continue this step and he is telling the truth to his girlfriend, you may be forced to walk away from his life unless they break up
Step 6. Ask the decision
Whatever steps you take, expressing your feelings emotionally or physically, give him time to process his feelings. He may decide that he wants to try to hook up with you. It's also possible that he decided he wanted to stay with his girlfriend. If he made the final decision, that would be enough. Trying to convince him to change his mind will only drive him away.
Method 3 of 3: Waiting Patiently
Step 1. Decide if he's worth the wait
You may be waiting a long time for the relationship to end, if that's the case. If they separate, you may have to watch her with some other guys if she moves from one relationship to the next quickly.
- Consider his current relationship. If he's in a strong relationship, chances are he won't leave his girlfriend even if he likes you too.
- While this statement is not romantic, scientifically there is no such thing as a “right person”. Do you want to spend the rest of your life waiting for a girl who likes someone else? There are lots of other girls out there looking for a guy like you.
Step 2. Form a strong friendship with him
If your feelings are strong enough to wait for him, ignore Method 2. Don't manipulate his feelings. Be a part of his life and make him realize that you can trust him. Maybe he will change girlfriends, but he still has you.
If you really love him, the friendship will come naturally. Pay little attention. Remember his birthday and what kind of coffee he likes. If you see he's had a tough day, ask him if he'd like to talk about it
Step 3. Wait for the current relationship to end
He'll know you care about his happiness if you value the relationship. Don't try to break them up.
- If he's happy with his girlfriend, he won't be grateful if you criticize him or find ways to rock their relationship. Even if he's unhappy, he'll still feel manipulated if he realizes your motives.
- If you really love him, you want him to be happy, even if he's not with you.
Step 4. Share your feelings in an appropriate but appropriate time frame
After he and his girlfriend separate, give him time to grieve and work through the pain. But don't wait too long, or he'll be in another relationship before you get the chance.
Tips
- Don't cling to him or he will distance himself.
- Make absolutely sure that she's a decent girl. Many times we want impossible relationships because we are too afraid to look for possible relationships.
- If you criticize or offend her boyfriend, it's over. His girlfriend will be more protective and you may lose hope.
- If you find yourself stuck in the friend zone, forget about it. Many other great girls don't have boyfriends.
Warning
- If you are successful in approaching him and he finds out about your plot, your relationship could be jeopardized.
- In Method 2, you manipulated him to your selfish desires. If you want to take that step, then maybe you don't love him as much as you claim.
- If he left his girlfriend for you, one day he could leave you for someone else.
- Trying to separate your partner can really damage a relationship. You will not only damage the relationship with him and his girlfriend, but also relationships with friends or co-workers alike.
