Like it or not, you need more than just testicles to be considered a man. Various cultures around the world have various rituals as symbols of maturity, as well as the habit of preserving them. This article focuses on the journey of life from childhood to adulthood, instead of discussing the fundamental differences between men and women. While there is no one sure way to define masculinity, there are some attributes that people in different countries consider to be true "male" characteristics. Here are some examples.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Developing the Mind
Step 1. Get to know yourself
Find out who you are and accept yourself as you are. There is no one sure way to be a man. A real man can appear as someone who always wears plaid clothes and doesn't shower for 10 days, or as a professor who always talks about Milton and Shakespeare. However, all men know who they really are and can respect themselves, both on the inside and on the outside.
Step 2. Build knowledge of something
No matter what, you should consider deepening your knowledge in a field. Men may not be able to - or don't want to - use long, complex words, but when they need to act, they can usually do so effectively. They use their minds to get things done. What are your areas of expertise? Here are some things you might consider:
- General knowledge. You can be the all-knowing. You can win money in the "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" quiz if you want to be on TV. You know the difference between a verb and a noun, pterodactyl and pterorhynchus, and a suit for $1,000,000 and $100,000.
- Car. Men love cars in the same way they love women: for their beauty, charm and complexity. This is why men like to think of his car as a woman. Maybe you're the kind of guy who fixes or replaces his friends' cars when needed.
- History. Today, men who rule history are rare. He was able to see from a very wide perspective when considering various issues: he could reflect on Roman weaponry strategies, cold war negotiating tactics, poor French economic policies, and other things. He knows that history is not only about preventing past mistakes from happening again in the future.
- Woman. Some men study the opposite sex. If you want to be knowledgeable about women, be prepared to make mistakes and learn from them. There is nothing worse than a man who thinks he is a gift from God to every woman, and is mean, condescending, and ignorant.
Step 3. Admit when you made a mistake and realize when you should apologize
Mistakes are normal. Only an insecure man thinks that mistakes are a bad thing, because it shows that he can't accept himself as he is. A confident man knows when he's made a mistake, and isn't afraid to admit it.
Learn to express regret in a variety of ways. Men know that apologies don't always have to be verbal. Show tickets, breakfast sessions in bed, and camping trips are also ways to say "I'm sorry" without moving your vocal chords. Men know that these things are usually the most effective way to express regret without having to say a word
Step 4. Master the male code
What's the guy's code? This code is a set of unwritten rules that are enforced in a man's life, which evolve frequently but rarely change. Take men's code seriously whenever you can. This code tells other men that you value them as much as you value yourself. Here are some of the contents:
- Prohibition in dating. Never date your friend's sister unless you really want to marry her. You shouldn't date a friend's ex-girlfriend unless you get her explicit permission. This means you have to ask your friends directly.
- Share ownership of goods if possible. When a friend wants to borrow a work bot, drill, or cooking pot with one day's notice, lend it to them. This rule does not apply to cars, personal belongings, or women.
- Gifts for other men are always optional. If you are pressured to provide information, lie and tell your partner to prepare the gift.
- Never strike up a conversation with another man on the toilet. You should also not choose a urinal located directly next to another man if there is a urinal far away that is not being used.
- You don't need to use emoticons or smiles when texting other guys. Although you can use it when chatting with women, you should still minimize it.
Step 5. Get rid of self-defeating thoughts or habits
Understand that men of all cultures may have been taught to socialize in destructive ways, both psychologically and culturally. This can lead to unhappiness. The first step to creating a sense of self-worth on your journey to becoming a man is to examine the environment in which you grew up as objectively as possible.
- Did you grow up in a culture that allowed the torture of others who were deemed "over the line" or inferior, either physically or verbally? Violence is usually rooted in a sense of loss rather than genuine stimulation to solve a problem. Using violence or threats against friends or family to "show authority" is unhealthy and destructive.
- Were you taught that being "strong" means suppressing emotions, holding back tears, and never showing softness? Unfortunately, if you do, it means you're also learning to store and suppress negative emotions, which will build up and get worse over time. Focus on being strong in another sense: being a reliable and tough person, and able to overcome difficulties in life.
- Were you taught to hate/fear someone who is homosexual? Know that there is only one thing that defines the word gay: having a romantic and sexual attraction to someone of the same gender. The kind of music you like, the clothes you wear, the fact that you cry when you watch sad movies, enjoy buying flowers for your wife, being sensitive or friendly to other people, don't make you gay. Homophobia indicates insecurity in a man, not his manhood.
Part 2 of 4: Taking Care of the Body
Step 1. Cleanse yourself, even if you live in the forest
A man knows that a clean body is a must. Every animal even cleans its body, but don't fall into the "self-care" trap and become part of modern social trends. Self-care has long been a business, and companies in this line of business will never tire of trying to convince you that you need a large number of non-essential products. The "male grooming" and "good-looking" businesses are run to make money, not because they are noble, healthy, or morally appropriate.
- You don't have to shave every day, especially if you don't grow a beard. Some guys just can't grow a neat beard, so maybe you're better off sticking with a shave if you're like them. On the other hand, there are men who grow their beards neatly - it's natural that they can grow their entire beard. Men generally worry about what women think of the hair on their faces, but men are not really slaves to women. Don't let a woman force you to shave your beard when you don't want to. Be yourself naturally. Guide yourself as you are.
- Do not shave the chest or body in general. You don't have to follow superficial and absurd body images, such as the "smooth, athletic male body" created by the modern world of fashion, the film and advertising industries, to make money. Be proud of the reasons that make you a man and the physical attributes that nature creates to support that fact.
- Take a shower when needed. Men will benefit if he bathes when he smells - though not necessarily every day like a woman. Men can choose to stay dirty or smelly for some reason (such as fixing the car or going to work out).
- Trim your fingernails and hair regularly. Most men like full haircuts, although some prefer hair that is slightly longer or styled.
Step 2. Exercise
Your body doesn't have to be muscular to be a man. It's just that you do have to take care of him (for some men, this means lifting weights). Match men's responsibilities with fitness: do cardio, yoga, or pilates (pilates isn't just for women), strength training, or gaming, and combine it with a healthy diet. At the very least, you should walk about 30 minutes a day to burn fat and develop muscle.
Step 3. Wear clothes of the right size
Your clothes don't have to be designer or expensive. However, the size must be just right. Not all men are muscular and stocky, so don't wear clothes that are too big or too loose. Although skinny jeans are a popular trend these days, stay away from women's clothing as much as possible. All men will need:
- Quality jeans. Keep casual jeans, work jeans, and formal jeans in your wardrobe. Prepare standard clothes.
- Also buy some shirts. Prepare a casual pair, a pair for work, and a pair for formal purposes. This much stock is usually enough for men in general.
- Get good shoes. Prepare three to five pairs of shoes: formal shoes (for work or important occasions), tennis shoes, work boots, casual shoes (chukka, lace-up, sneaker, etc.), or semi-formal shoes (oxford, top-sider, loafers, etc.). Mix and match according to needs and habits.
Step 4. Do not use drugs
Men are adventurous, so they are often tempted by drugs. Men who feel good about themselves usually don't need the help of drugs. Even when the burden of bills is distracting, work awaits, and personal projects are demanding to be done (especially the hobby of football), a real man can still find a way to appreciate the beauty of life without drugging himself.
Part 3 of 4: Encouraging
Step 1. Develop personal principles
A man doesn't always have to be judge, jury, and executioner, but he can distinguish right from wrong, and expects others to follow the same rules. Look within yourself and ask the question: Would I want someone else to do this to me?. This will help you develop the principles of life.
- A man never steals, even when he is desperate. A desperate man asks others for help instead of helping himself to do something illegal.
- A man helps a neighbor in need. He knows when others are in trouble and need help, even if he can only offer sympathy.
- A man trusts his friends, partner, and family members. He will keep his promise and hope that others will do the same.
- A man never lies - to himself or to others. He will develop an awareness that provides quality input for himself, so that he can accept the truth well, even if the truth is painful.
Step 2. Be ambitious in your own way
Men are naturally ambitious. We want to be the backbone and earn the admiration and respect of our friends. However, not all men choose the same career path, so their definition of ambition is not always the same. Whatever career or profession you choose (you may run a variety of jobs), set goals for yourself, then achieve or exceed them, and evaluate yourself whenever necessary. Define your own idea of success.
Step 3. Find and accept responsibility for your actions
The main difference between men and boys is that men are always in charge. Men fulfill their commitments, carry out their duties, and are ready to accept the consequences for their actions. Men are also capable of tidying themselves up (both figuratively and literally).
- Men know that anyone can be a father, but only a real man understands and accepts the responsibility of being a good father.
- Men refuse to force others to do something they wouldn't do themselves. As a result, they can appreciate the hardships and risks that others take to help others.
Step 4. Learn to sacrifice for the people you love and care about
Sacrifice is part of growing yourself, whether you like it or not. The difference between a grown man and a boy is that a man will welcome a challenge, while a boy will hesitate or complain. A real man is ready to make sacrifices, especially for the people he loves in his life - this could mean putting in time, spending money or other resources for them - and he considers it a chore.
Step 5. Be a good man
Have integrity, which means that you will do the right thing for the right reasons, even when no one is watching. Fulfilling your responsibilities as a man may make you think your job is done, but that doesn't necessarily define you as a good human being. Never stop trying to do the right thing and evaluate your own character and integrity. If you want to be a man, be a quality man, or better still be a boy.
Part 4 of 4: Cultivating Love
Step 1. Bring out the gentleman in you
This side tells you things you should be doing - but are sometimes reluctant to do because you're lazy:
- Pay for a date, unless your partner considers this to be harassment. Be careful.
- Opens the door, pulls out a chair, and says "please" and "thank you." In general, you should put women ahead of yourself as an expression of respect.
- Doing household chores. Some men who have been committed for long periods of time forget about their domestic duties: taking the trash out of the house, washing dishes, changing diapers. Real men know that they have to share the responsibilities of household chores, even if this may not be fun.
- Deal with defeat with gratitude. By nature, men are competitive, so accepting defeat is difficult for some of them. Accept defeat with the same level of gratitude you accept victory. This is indeed easier said than done.
Step 2. Don't talk about your love life
Men enjoy pursuing romance, but are often tempted to brag about the process. Don't think that if you don't show it off, you're lying. Success in fostering a loving relationship is already an achievement that can speak for itself. Confidence with calm can even tell your friends that you're the real Cassanova, even if you're not.
Step 3. Always treat your partner with respect
Here's a list of things you can and can't do:
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Do:
- Listen to what he has to say.
- Forgive him when he makes a simple mistake.
- Keep your promise to him.
- Treat your partner the same way you would want him or her.
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Do not:
- Promises unrealistic things.
- Manipulate him to get you what you want.
- Treat him as an object instead of a person.
- Assume that you know how he will react or feel something.
Step 4. Don't rush into a relationship
Many men force women into uncomfortable situations. By doing this, not only will the woman feel alienated, but she will also be unable to get what she wants. Real men know that when it comes to dating, it's the women who have to set the pace: if they want to get into a serious relationship right away, a man has to be ready; if you want to relax first, a man must convince her that he is ready for a long-term relationship. Relationships will be successful and more satisfying if men let women set this pace.
Step 5. Leave a little mystery
Men are attractive to women because men are always a bit confusing. Being mysterious doesn't mean you have to be a quiet strong person. You just have to hold yourself back a little, being able to surprise you with an unexpected skill, behavior, or demeanor.
Tips
- Surround yourself with good life role models, even if they are younger than you. Which male figures do you think can be good role models? How do they act? What are they doing? Learn from them, but always remember that no one is perfect--they are still learning, just like you.
- Basically, being a real man and a woman is about the same thing - you have to be friendly, respect others, and be honest - not about your taste in clothes, hobbies, or sexual orientation.
- You may not want to get married. This is an option; You don't have to be married to be a real man.
- Consider taking an interest in children in a healthy way. There is nothing more attractive in this world than a child friendly man.
