Hanging out with the wrong friends can cause a lot of trouble even if you don't get involved in those bad choices. Other people (including your parents) will often find you guilty of being friends with the wrong people and you could be in trouble even if you didn't do anything wrong. Getting away from these kinds of people can be difficult, so it's usually best to avoid them in the first place.
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Part 1 of 3: Getting Rid of Bad Friends
Step 1. Start keeping your distance
Gradually stop accepting invitations to get together. If they invite you to come to their house, avoid it. Pretend to be sick or make excuses.
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Try one of these examples:
- "I'm really not in the mood to get together today."
- "Thanks for the invitation, but I'm not feeling well today."
- Stop telling him personal things too. Continuing the close friendship will only make it difficult to end the relationship in the long term.
Step 2. Find reasons to avoid it
Start looking for excuses if you can't find them. This will help if he is a bad friend and you slowly want to stop hanging out with him. In the end he started to realize and leave you.
- Some good examples of reasons are that you have to babysit your sibling, your parents are watching you, or you're taking part in school activities and these activities take up a lot of time.
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Try one of these examples:
- "I appreciate your invitation, but I have a lot of homework tonight."
- "I can't get together today because my parents tell me to do chores at home."
Step 3. Try helping your friend if you really want to continue hanging out with her
Talk about his behavior and tell him why his actions are bothering you. Give him suggestions on how to change if he's willing to listen.
- Some ways you can help your friend are being honest about how you feel about their behavior, talking to a counselor or their parents, offering to help deal with something stressful in their life that might be causing them to behave badly (such as homework, problems at home, and so on). others), or help find a positive way out in life (such as playing sports, being active in church, taking up other hobbies or school activities).
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Try one of these examples:
- "I get annoyed when you make me feel like I'm not a good friend."
- “I don't like feeling pressured to do things I don't want to do. I hope you don't do that."
- “I would be happy to help you figure out a way to deal with the situation.”
Step 4. Don't be afraid to defend yourself
If your friend is constantly behaving badly and isn't leaving you, continue to avoid him. But if he's still following you, let him know that you don't want to hang out with him anymore.
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Try one of these examples:
- “I don't think being friends with you is a good thing for me right now. Looks like I need to stop first."
- “I feel like I have to concentrate on other things at the moment. I can't be friends with you anymore."
Part 2 of 3: Choosing Good Friends
Step 1. Think about the type of friend you want
What qualities do you look for in a friend? Knowing these things beforehand will help you know what to look for when making new friends. Look for people who have the positive qualities you want in life.
- Some traits to consider are kindness, honesty, loyalty, intelligence, or creativity.
- Think of ways to tell if someone has these qualities. For example, someone who gets good grades in school is likely to be intelligent. Someone who volunteers at a nursing home is likely to be a good-hearted person. Someone who is very active in art class is likely a creative person.
Step 2. Get to know the people from your activities
Try to make friends with people who have good morals. A good place to meet these people is in a youth group at a place of worship or an activity group organized through your school. People who are involved in activities and communities are less likely to cause problems.
Step 3. Monitor his behavior
Do this before you start hanging out with new people. If he makes a fuss at school, likes to fight, or bullies others, don't get too close to him.
Step 4. Choose people with similar interests and goals
Associating with like-minded people is important. The adage "you are what you eat" applies to the friends you choose. If you hang out with motivated people, it will rub off on you too. If you spend time with people who don't care about school or aren't nice to other people, that behavior will rub off on you later.
Step 5. Talk to a trusted advisor
There are many people in your life (parents, teachers, counselors) who have more life experience than you and would be happy to give you advice on how to find and make good friends. Take advantage of their advice by talking to your friend and asking for their opinion. This might help!
Part 3 of 3: Attracting the Right Friends
Step 1. Be a good person
If you want to attract a certain person who will become a good friend, you have to be a good person who enjoys being around other people. Be kind to others, help those around you, and set goals for your life.
Be grateful for all the things you have in life and all the things other people have done for you. Everyone feels happy when appreciated. Let others know that you are grateful to them
Step 2. Make good decisions
People don't want to spend time with other people who will get them in trouble or negatively affect them. Make decisions in your own life that will have a positive impact on your life and those around you.
Before making a decision, think about your options and the possible outcomes of each option, weigh the pros and cons, and seek advice from people you trust
Step 3. Make achievements in school
If you are a teenager, an easy way for others to judge your type is to observe how much you focus on school. If you put in the effort and try to succeed in class, this will reflect well on your type and it will attract the attention of other people who will become good friends to you.
This will also be a good sign for the parents of your potential friend. Sometimes parents can be suspicious of a new friend. But if you do well in school, most parents will trust you more from the start
Step 4. Ask for help if you need it
Sometimes we attract the attention of the wrong type of person because we are not capable of being emotionally good friends at the moment. There are many ways to get the help you need-such as through counseling/therapy, taking care of your body through regular diet and exercise, or talking about your problems with someone you trust.
- Some examples of things you might need to get help with before attracting the right type of friend are drug or alcohol addiction, various psychological problems (such as depression), or anger control issues. These are aspects of life that need to be improved to attract the attention of the type of friend you want.
- If you're feeling seriously depressed or suicidal, seek help right away. Talk to your doctor or call the suicide prevention service on (021) 7256526, (021) 7257826, (021) 7221810.
Tips
- The best way to avoid bad friends is to never get involved with them.
- Don't be fooled by a person's appearance or charm. Appearances can be deceiving.
- At first, you may start to feel lost in this friendship, but you will get over it.
- If you don't get out in time, the damage these people inflict on your life will trouble you. You won't notice until the damage has been done!
- Don't let yourself be seduced by it. Control it carefully.
- This can work if your boyfriend has bad friends or is a bad friend.
- Don't have an aggressive/dominant boyfriend. This will make it more difficult for you to avoid it or end the relationship.
- Don't hang out with people just because they have the nicest clothes, the smartest cell phones, and the latest gadgets.
