Like someone, but don't know what to do? Maybe you feel awkward, embarrassed, or confused. Being attracted to the opposite sex is natural, what is difficult is turning attraction into a relationship. So, take action so you can get closer to him. Consider these steps to make him more than just a friend.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Finding Connections
Step 1. Find common ground
One of the easiest ways to approach someone is through shared activities and interests. Talk about what he likes. Find interests that are similar to yours, and do them together.
- Consider asking, "What's it like being on a soccer team? I used to play soccer," or "I see you like to draw. What do you usually do? I sketch in my diary sometimes."
- Do activities that you both enjoy. However, make sure you don't spend all your time on it.
- Look for differences in ways. Sometimes, to get to know someone, you have to see how the same interests take different approaches.
Step 2. Start as a friend
Even though love is hard to control, you have to get to know him first. Don't you want to have a partner who can also be a friend?
- If you feel like he can't be a good friend or the difference in interests is too big, think about what it means. Do you want to connect with people you don't think are good friends?
- Let the friendship develop into romance, not the other way around. Do not rush. Try to find a way to distract yourself from your feelings, and focus on making friends first.
- Consider taking him and his friends out with you and your friends on the weekends. This initial interaction is casual, don't try to find out if he likes you.
Step 3. Be a good listener
Listen to what he likes. Open a positive mind and don't forget to smile. Signal that you are listening to the words. Don't turn your attention to anything else. Try not to look away because you are embarrassed.
- By listening carefully and not just thinking about how handsome or beautiful he is, you can really get to know what he looks like.
- After listening, consider responding with, "That's great" or "Wow, that's cool."
- Ask follow-up questions. When you listen actively, you pay attention to what he is saying. Ask for details, or ask for clarification if something is confusing.
Part 2 of 3: Have Confidence
Step 1. Be yourself
You have to present yourself as you are. Be honest about what you like and don't like. Don't pretend or be someone else. Think about what is important to you.
Show an attitude and way of dressing that feels comfortable and natural
Step 2. Develop self-confidence
You are unique and awesome. Respect yourself, and be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. There is no shame in being yourself and showing confidence in front of others.
Practice a positive attitude, and associate with positive people
Step 3. Show that you are kind and approachable
Kindness is very important. People will notice if you seem approachable and friendly, but hesitate to make friends or get close if you're rude, cold, and distant.
- Try to get over your shyness with a short chat. Consider complimenting him, or talk about hobbies.
- For example, say, "I like your shirt," or "You're good at playing the guitar."
Step 4. Pay attention to appearance
Take care of your appearance by taking care of your body. Always keep your hair clean and wear appropriate clothing. You don't have to "dress up" every day, but people are more likely to talk to you or notice if you look good.
- Avoid provocative clothing. The message sent may be wrong and not only reach the person you are addressing.
- For women, you don't need heavy makeup or fashionable clothes. However, a pleasant and healthy appearance is still important. Consider a light scented perfume.
- For men, do not let you look like you just woke up. Wear clean clothes. Consider using a cologne.
Step 5. Don't overanalyze the situation
You may already know him, but not familiar. Like any new person, closeness may or may not be formed. Don't idealize him too much. He's only human, just like everyone else.
- Friendships or relationships take time to develop. Don't expect him to notice you overnight.
- Realize that maybe he doesn't mean to ignore you. In a large classroom, college or office, we usually don't pay attention to someone until we've interacted directly with them a few times.
Part 3 of 3: Showing Interest
Step 1. Try to talk alone
Find a way to separate yourself from the group, and do something alone. Consider the following ways:
- Go home with her or walk together from class or work
- Chat around the school or work area when you have a little time alone.
- Working on a task or project together
- Help him do something
Step 2. Use body language
There are various ways to nonverbally signal interest. For example, making eye contact, smiling, or laughing when he says something funny. Put your hand on his shoulder, or touch your lips when he talks. Give him a hug if he seems sad or worried about something.
- When sitting next to him on a long car ride, try leaning your head on his shoulder.
- See how it responds to your body language. Is he behaving the same way? Or, did he withdraw?
- Nonverbal cues are a great way to find out what someone is thinking, but not saying.
Step 3. Try flirting
Consider flirting openly with compliments. Say what you like about him without actually saying, "I like you." You can convey your love through body language, tone of voice, or commenting on the part of him that you like.
- For example, "I love chatting with you," instead of bluntly saying, "I like you."
- You can also say, "I love your hair," or "I love chatting with you" or "You're really cool."
Step 4. Give him space
If you spend too much time with him and he seems reluctant to talk, try reducing the frequency of your closeness so you don't seem attached. This also applies to friends, family, or anyone you spend a lot of time with. Independence will make you more attractive.
- Don't concentrate all your time on him. Remember that there are lots of other people and fun activities out there. He is not the only important thing in your life.
- He'll probably pay more attention when he's away. Let him be aware of your absence. That way, he'll feel like something's missing when you're not around.
Tips
- Consider making friends with his friends. Getting to know his friend might help you approach him.
- Try smiling or waving when you pass. Don't interrupt when he's chatting with other people.
Warning
- Don't stalk because she will feel uncomfortable. If he asks you to step away a bit, respect his request. He's a human being who needs distance and space, just like you.
- Don't idealize him. Get to know the person first. Before falling in love, don't you want to know what he really looks like?
