If you still have to see your ex on a regular basis or run into them frequently, it's important that you show that you've bounced back from the breakup in a positive way. Also show that even though you still see him often, you will not melt and fall in love with him again. Take care of yourself and reduce the urge to yell at or treat him badly.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Paying Attention to the Signs Shown to Him
Step 1. Give a smile while still looking busy
When you run into him, make it appear that you are happy, but busy (even though you may not really feel that way). If your ex sees you hanging out at the mall with a sad and devastated face, of course he won't believe that you've risen from your hurt and forgotten about it.
- When you meet him, smile a few times, without seeming to flirt or miss him. Make him think that you are happy because your life is so good right now, not because you met him. Don't let the sadness you feel during and after the breakup ruin your mood.
- If he asks how you're doing, focus on the positive answers, not the negative. Any competitions you won last week? Tell me about it. Did you get accepted to the school you wanted? Tell me about it too. Don't lie, but try to highlight your accomplishments, not your failures.
- Don't spare time for him. This will make him think twice about your feelings. You can say, “Oh, yes! I actually have to meet my friend! See you later, okay!”, then left without looking back. Try doing this from the start.
Step 2. Hold yourself back before replying to his messages or phone calls
You will seem desperate if you immediately reply to a message or answer a phone call from him. Do not rush. Wait a few days before replying to the message, as if the message wasn't important.
Step 3. Upload all your fun trying new activities with friends to social media
The internet is the perfect medium to reassure him that you've risen and forgotten about him. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter can provide golden opportunities to show off your newfound freedom.
- Take lots of photos while you're spending time with friends, especially when you're feeling good. On vacation to the beach? Take a photo and upload it with a caption like “Two beaches in two days with a dear friend. Say hello to summer, buddy!”
- Keep your mysterious side. Let him and his friends ask questions about you. Post something a little "mysterious" to social media so he can guess all the cool stuff you did without him.
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Master the art of "lowing down to skyrocket". In this art, you pretend to be humble, but are actually bragging about something. You could say, for example:
- "Hair still tangled. Haven't put on make-up yet. Wear pajamas anyway, but still being teased on the street. Please, please!"
- "Meet a cute guy this Saturday. Ouch! I was nervous first! Usually, I don't get nervous when I meet a guy."
- "If I didn't have an EXO ticket, I would definitely hangout with my favorite girls right now. Ouch! I really love both of them!"
Step 4. Don't show you care
It's okay if you still have feelings for him, but to show that you've forgotten him, he shouldn't let him know about your feelings. Avoid the following signs:
- Attend a party or special event he is hosting. Try to find excuses if necessary.
- Give him a compliment.
- Called him just to "chat". If you need to talk to him, prepare a specific topic you want to talk about (eg children, family, finances).
- Chat at midnight. He will feel vulnerable and believe that you are still attracted to him if you say "Good night!" or reflect on your old relationship. He will also feel that you miss him. As a result, he will also hold hope for you.
- Get caught glancing at it or looking at it for too long. Try to act as if he doesn't exist.
- Tell your secrets, dreams and thoughts. Don't tell your dream. This includes your plans and desires for the future, as well as your dreams during sleep. If he wants to forget you, he must not know that you are still thinking about him! In addition to realizing that you have risen, he may also be able to come to terms with the situation after realizing that his relationship with you has ended.
- Show off your togetherness with others in a classy manner. When flaunting your togetherness in front of other people, including your ex, you don't have to go to extremes. Let him see you go to the movies, dance, or flirt with your date. However, make sure you don't get caught doing things that would be embarrassing for your parents to see (eg kissing, making out, etc.).
- If you're still in touch with him and he asks about your date, just be honest and open about it. Tell him the truth. If he asks, he needs to know the answer in order to come to terms with the situation and emerge from the hurt. If you hide your date, he will feel that you are still attracted to him and will never settle down.
Method 2 of 2: Paying Attention to the Signs Shown to Everyone
Step 1. Act as if you have experienced what others have experienced
Show that you understand the situation at hand. You do need to show that you have risen from inner wounds to the ex. However, remember that what you show in front of everyone reflects what you have shown your ex. It also actually helps you to get up, if that's how you feel.
If someone asks you about how you are recovering from an emotional wound, you can say, “You know every relationship ending hurts. There are things I admire about [your ex-lover's name]. However, after breaking up I realized that things weren't that great and now I'm trying to find someone who can change that."
Step 2. Go on vacation or travel if possible
Nothing can make you happy again after the end of a relationship than a vacation trip. Some people travel to faraway places after their relationship ends (eg Lake Toba or even Sabang). However, what you really need is a change of atmosphere, even if your destination is only about an hour away from where you live!
- When you are on vacation or visiting a new place, spend time with the local people. There is no better way to forget sadness than to learn from the local people and have fun with them.
- Don't forget to upload your vacation or travel moments to social media! Don't miss this opportunity to show off your destination of choice to everyone, especially if you're visiting cool places.
- Try new things. Explore your adventurous side. Show your curiosity. Explore new places. Few people regret after mustering up the courage to do so. This can help soothe your soul and heal your inner wounds.
Step 3. Don't misunderstand or give him false hope if he still wants you back
If you often talk to him about old memories or tell him that special moments are now bitter after the breakup, there's a good chance he'll never stop feeling guilty about leaving him. This can trigger a wound that lasts longer than the wound you experienced when you decided to leave and forget about it. When you can show that his pleas and guilt no longer affect you (even if you were affected, don't show your ex), he'll know that you've risen. If one of the parties still sees hope and feels "optimistic" because of his ex's concern for his feelings, he will never be sincere. He will never be at peace. You will never feel that way either. There won't be enough peace for you to be able to love someone again. You're also hurting your ex if you can't help him get up and live life without you because you're preventing him from hurting himself. He needs to accept the end of the relationship and come to terms with the situation. The only way to do this is to feel the pain and realize that there is no possibility of re-establishing a relationship that has ended. You can't protect him and hope he can get up, then take care of your next love. You may also miss the chance to meet the love of your life if you are too busy protecting it. Give yourself and your ex a chance to get up and start a new life. Don't make other people think that you can relieve the hurt your ex is feeling. You're only prolonging the hurt and pain for him, yourself, and everyone else involved. Free yourself. Let him be free too.
Step 4. Take up a new hobby, sport, or activity
So that you stay busy and your mind doesn't wander, try a new hobby or continue an old hobby that you had forgotten about.
- By exercising, you can train your body while having fun. Heading to the gym and running on a treadmill can be boring at times, but playing three-on-three basketball on the court can be a lot of fun.
- Try activities that push you over the edge. A breakup is an opportunity to get to know yourself better. Why not learn about yourself by trying something you previously thought you would not like? Try glass making, rock climbing, or contribute to wildlife conservation. Whatever it is, live something new!
Step 5. Find the real you
In order to get up, you need time for yourself to think about things like “Who am I? Is this the real me?” By taking time for yourself, you can wake up, forget about him, and break free from bondage with him. The more confident you are, the easier it will be for you to face or meet him.
Tips
- Don't be cold to him for hurting or making you angry. A smile, happiness, and independence are the best forms of revenge.
- Keep an open mind and show that he is not the only man (or woman) in your life.
- Show him that you don't need a man or a woman to be a complete person.
- Prove that you have self-respect!
- Tell him you're busy if he starts texting a lot.
- If he's around you, who cares? Act as if he doesn't exist!
- Love yourself so you can respect and appreciate yourself.
- Never beg someone to be a part of your life.
Warning
- Don't date other people only to show that you have risen. If you do this, other people (including yourself) will actually get hurt.
- If you're too busy sending signals to him that you've woken up and forget about it, this can actually interfere with your actual recovery process. If you need to "play drama" to get people to stop talking about you, do it. However, understand that there are risks to the steps you take. It may also make you seem desperate, as if you were trying hard to get his attention. In certain situations, it's a good idea to stay away and avoid other people's attention, and take time to recuperate.
- If he still likes you, don't brag about your new girlfriend. This will only make him feel that you are trying to make him jealous.
- If your ex is acting immature, act as if you didn't hear the words of jealousy.
- If he tells everyone he doesn't care anymore, maybe he really doesn't care about you anymore. However, it could be that he still cares, but doesn't want to show it. Be careful and don't make yourself look stupid.
