You may always have feelings for your ex. The end of a relationship does not necessarily mean that you hate your partner. In general, feelings of love will start to fade over time, and you will meet new people and move on with your life. However, in some cases, you may not be able to let go of your crush on your ex. If you can't let go of your ex, learn how to let him know how you feel about him.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Contacting Your Ex
Step 1. Wait a moment
If you've recently broken up, it's not a good idea to rekindle your relationship with your ex right away, or to let him know that you still have feelings for him. You definitely need time to accept the end of the relationship. If it was only decided yesterday, of course you still have feelings for your ex-lover. However, now is not the right time to tell him how you feel. Wait a moment, understand and try to accept the reality, and then try to reconnect with him if you still have the same feelings for him. Opportunity is always there.
- There is no fixed time to wait until you can reconnect or reconnect with your ex, but you at least need time to accept the end of your relationship. You need to realize that the relationship has ended. Wait at least a few weeks, or a few months if the relationship lasts longer.
- While waiting, try to find another figure. Try different relationships to find out more about yourself. If that doesn't work, at least you know what it's like.
Step 2. Think back to the problems you've had in your previous relationship
If after waiting you still realize that you still have feelings for him, you need to do some introspection. Why did this relationship end? What problems are there in the relationship? If you think too much about your longing for your ex, you will forget about the problems you had in your previous relationship. Therefore, this is the right time to focus on these issues.
- Do the same mistakes tend to happen over and over again? Are these problems your fault, or your ex? Have you ever tried to change in order to accept the mistakes he made, or to correct the mistakes you made? If the same problems reoccur, it's probably not a good idea to get back into a relationship with him.
- If there were major issues you had to deal with in your previous relationship, such as infidelity or other serious issues, it will be very difficult to get back into the relationship you were in. Would you forgive him for the big mistakes he made? Will he forgive you? How do you get his trust back?
Step 3. Make small changes to show that you have changed
You need to give him the impression that you are happy, healthy, sexy, and attractive, so he feels like he should get back into a relationship with you. To make that change, try to fix the little things about yourself that you want to change from now on so you can win back her heart.
- If you're feeling jealous too much, or if you're out partying too much, try to get those things under control. If necessary, attend counseling sessions so that you can show that you are serious about making changes to yourself.
- Excuses or comments like “I feel sad” or “I miss you so much” are not good reasons to get back into a relationship with someone. Those feelings of sadness or longing are not the reason why you need to reconnect with them. You need to show him the best reasons why the relationship needs to be rekindled.
Step 4. Think about what you want
Try to think about the criteria or description of the ideal partner for you. Do these criteria match or exist in your ex-lover? Sometimes, we are so held back by thoughts of the past that we have a hard time knowing what we really want. Make sure you don't get stuck and go back in time and get something that, in fact, we shouldn't have.
Do you really want to get back into a relationship with him? If you still have feelings for him, but feel that your relationship is still not going well, telling him about your feelings may make things even more complicated. In this case, it's a good idea to keep those feelings to yourself
Step 5. Find out what he is looking for or looking for
If your ex is single, then you can get back in touch with him and let him know that you still have feelings for him and might want to get back into a relationship with him, as long as that's what you want. If he's dating someone else, you need to wait. It's certainly not fair if you have to interfere or be the third person in his new relationship with someone else. While waiting, try to find or date someone else and wait until he is single again. After that, if necessary, you can talk to him again.
At times, you may feel the need to tell him that you still love him, even though he's already with someone else. If so, think about how it would feel if someone said the same thing to your boyfriend while he was already in a relationship with you. This is a warning to you
Step 6. Call your ex-lover
If you want to talk to him, send him a text or email to let him know that something is still on your mind and you want to talk to him in person. You just have to send him a message like, “Hey! I've been thinking a lot about you lately. Shall we meet soon for a chat?”
- In some cases, it can be very useful to write down your feelings on a letter. If you feel the need to write it down, then write down your feelings in a letter, but think twice before you send it. It might be better if you tell him how you feel, so you can remember what he was like when he was around you.
- Don't try to rekindle your relationship through online chats. I don't think it's appropriate to talk about this on Facebook. Talk in person, or (at least) over the phone.
Part 2 of 3: Talking to Ex-Girlfriend
Step 1. Meet your ex-lover somewhere
When you are planning a meeting, it is important that you hold the meeting with him in a public place. If you've lived together, don't try to ask him to meet at a place you used to live with because that place holds a lot of old memories. It's important that you think about your next step objectively, so you don't make the wrong decision based on your feelings.
Try proposing to meet at the park, or somewhere else where it's quiet so you can have a comfortable chat. However, make sure the place doesn't hold a lot of memories
Step 2. Show your best appearance
If you want to win back his heart, then it's important that you look like the person he wants you to be. Try to look your best for the meeting. Wear clothes that accentuate your shape and make you feel comfortable, and wear make-up or hairdo as if you were going out on a date with your boyfriend (because you might be able to go on a date with him again).
Step 3. Tell him how you feel
There are no specific tips for being honest. If you do still have feelings for him, let him know how you feel. If you feel like coming back, let him know that you've done some introspection and reflection on your previous relationship, and believe that things will get better if you get back into a relationship with him. Talk specifically about challenges or problems you've had in previous relationships and find out if they can be faced and worked out together.
Don't beat around the bush. You don't have to spend time trying hard or trying to make him think you're okay. Just tell the truth that you actually face. You miss him, you feel like you can make things better, and you've become a better person, that's all
Step 4. Try to apologize if necessary
If both parties agree to end the relationship, you may not need to apologize. However, if you cheated on him, or did something that made him break up with you, it's important that you apologize clearly and unequivocally.
- Be clear and specific when you are trying to apologize. Don't just say, "I'm sorry." Try to show him that you understand why he is angry and that you can see the fruits of your actions.
- Even when you feel like he did something wrong and need to apologize, you still have to keep your ego in check. Come and apologize to him. Don't think about how to solve the problem at hand. You need to apologize first at this point.
Step 5. Listen to what he has to say
Maybe he feels the same way and wants you to know how he feels. He may have the same feelings, but have to deal with them in a different way, and start pouring all his heart out to you. It is important that you listen to what he has to say and try to understand it. Even if you don't like what he's saying, try to understand the situation. If you immediately get angry and start fighting again, your efforts will not pay off.
- If he says he still has feelings for you, try talking about what went wrong in your previous relationship. Try to focus on the problems at hand and see if he and you can work things out and make things better in the future.
- If he tells you that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore and has different feelings, tell him, “Actually I wish you didn't feel that way, but at least I'm glad I could tell you how I feel. I want you to know. Let me know if your feelings have changed."
Step 6. Don't expect an immediate answer
He may need some time to think about what you are saying, which is a good thing. Don't just say, "So, what do you think?" or forcing him to give an answer. Let him know how you feel, and say, “Please don't say anything for now. Just think about what I said, and then we can meet again to talk about this. Agree?"
If he's dating someone (or approaching someone else), he needs time to rethink his decision and decide what he wants to do. Try to give him some time
Part 3 of 3: Taking the Next Step
Step 1. Give him time to think about your words
After telling him how you feel, leave him alone for a moment and let him contact you. If you tell him how you feel and want him to give you an answer, leave him alone to think about his feelings until he is ready to give you an answer. At this stage, there is nothing you can say to change his mind. You just have to wait.
Step 2. Plan to meet again
After some time, it's a good idea to meet again at the same place (where you met your ex-girlfriend) to talk about your feelings again. Find out if you still have the same feelings for him. Also find out if he still has the same feelings. Also, find out if he thinks things can get better again. If so, re-establish your relationship with him and start solving problems that previously existed in the relationship.
Step 3. Live your life as usual while waiting for him to give you an answer
Even if you still have feelings for him, it's not a good idea to wait for him to respond. Live your life. Go on walks with your friends, meet new people, and try to have fun. If you get the chance to go on a date, try going on a date. Don't just wait for a phone call that, perhaps, never will. If he ends up contacting you, then immediately plan the next meeting.
Step 4. If he and you decide to get back together, start slowly
Depending on how long your previous relationship was, it can be fun for him and you to get back together. However, try to take it slowly, as if you were starting a relationship with a new lover. Don't immediately decide to go back to living together and see each other every day, unless you and he are very comfortable and want to live it that way. If you're still feeling nervous and scared about past problems, take your relationship slowly.
- Start with casual dates. Go out for coffee together, or watch a movie together. Don't make big or complicated plans right away. Also, don't flaunt your relationship on Facebook right away, until you've managed to spend a lot of time with him and work out past problems.
- You may also be able to keep your relationship a secret from your friends until you feel the new relationship is going well. Of course, it would be a shame if you felt that things were going well and you flaunted your relationship on Facebook, but a week later the relationship ended again due to old problems that resurfaced.
Step 5. Immediately deal with the problem when the indications appear
It is important for you to anticipate problems that have existed in the past and try to solve them immediately before they make things messy. If you notice your boyfriend is starting to do something you had trouble with before, talk about it right away. Don't wait and let it become a big problem.
Ask him to do the same. If you do something that upsets him, ask him to talk to you about it right away. Try to be open and talk about the issues at hand if you want to save your relationship
Tips
- Don't follow the steps in this article if your relationship ended because your ex had feelings for another woman.
- Try to let him know in person that you love him because telling him over the phone or text doesn't sound familiar or affectionate.
