Would you like to meet someone? Email, dating sites and instant messaging services can help you communicate with friends and family conveniently. However, getting to know someone you just met will be very difficult if you don't meet face to face. Many people have managed to find friends, boyfriends, and life partners on the internet, and one thing is for sure: everyone feels awkward when communicating over the internet! Cultivate your curiosity, but don't overdo it; try to relax and be yourself.
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Method 1 of 3: Melt the Mood
Step 1. Don't overthink the conversation
If you're trying to get to know someone better (or maybe get him to like you), the main purpose of talking on the internet is to make him understand who you are as a whole person. You want to be yourself, so try to act naturally without getting hung up on the way the conversation is going.
- Almost everyone finds it difficult to start a conversation on the internet. You won't be the first and last person to have this kind of trouble.
- If you fail to start a conversation, you can use it as a lesson. If successful, you will find and know someone deeply. You won't get either of those things if you don't try.
Step 2. Find the right time
Try to send a message while the person is online. Keeping the conversation going when both speakers are online is easier to do than texting someone who is offline, because you have to wait for their response.
Choose a time when you don't have to travel anywhere. You don't want to be stressed about having to leave right away, and you certainly want the conversation to get more interesting
Step 3. Start the conversation with a short message
Send the person a short message and ask how they are doing. A message like "Hey. How are you?" is enough to start a conversation. You will feel more relaxed when you manage to keep the conversation going.
- He may respond by telling you how he is and will ask you the same thing. Be prepared to respond to your news.
- Avoid answers that can kill the conversation like "I'm fine". Everyone can feel "good". Give feedback that can describe yourself, such as "I feel good! My friend and I were exploring the abandoned house on the hill. It was so much fun, but also very scary" or "My dance troupe made it into the national competition. I very happy!"
- Mention the things that make you look attractive, but don't brag.
Step 4. Find out what things can be of mutual interest
This is a classic, proven way of starting a conversation. If you are a classmate, try asking about what homework to do. If you're a member of a club, try asking what club events you're hosting. This can naturally lighten the mood, and can open up opportunities for more in-depth conversations.
- Try sending a message like: "Hey. I was daydreaming in English class and forgot to take notes on my homework. Do you have any notes?"
- Or try this message: "Hey. Do you know when the athletics will be back? I didn't pay attention to what the coach said when we trained today."
Step 5. Compliment the person
When someone does something commendable, it is proper to praise him. This is a good way to lighten the mood and make him feel appreciated. Give praise every now and then, because if it's too much, it can become seduction.
- If you're in the same class, try complimenting something like this: "You did really well in today's presentation! I can learn a lot about Ulysses S. Grant from your presentation!"
- If you're in a group, try giving compliments something like this: "Good job in the 100 meter run today. You did everything you could to get the team to victory."
Step 6. Ask questions
If you meet someone on a dating website like OKCupid or an app like Tinder, you probably don't have anything to talk about in your everyday life, because the two of you have never met in person. Ask questions about him. Check out his profile for inspiration for asking questions.
- Example: "I see you like hip hop. Have you been to a good hip hop concert recently?"
- Or: "I love your beard. How long have you been growing your beard?"
Step 7. Be wary of using stale flirts
Seduction can backfire on you: some people will enjoy being courted, but others will feel uncomfortable. Seductions can be trite or manipulative, especially ones that weren't made by you. Try to make yourself and your flirtation look and sound genuine.
Method 2 of 3: Keeping the Conversation Going
Step 1. Get involved in the flow of the conversation
Pay attention to the conversation and respond carefully. Paying attention to and deciphering clues about what the other person is thinking or talking is important in conversation. While you are talking to the person, pay attention to what has been said and see where the conversation is leading.
Regarding this, talking to someone on the internet is easier than talking to them directly. You can review the conversations that have been made if any details of the conversation are forgotten
Step 2. Ask questions
Try to be genuinely attracted to the person. It has been scientifically proven that people are very happy to talk about things related to themselves. He's likely to have a lot to say if you ask him a question.
- Ask a question that will lead to another question. If you ask a question like "What kind of music do you like?" and he or she responds like "I like many types of music, such as rock, pop and punk. I've been to a lot of local concerts," ask questions like, "Have you recently been to the recently watched a good concert?”
- Avoid asking questions that lead to “yes” or “no” answers. Answers "yes" or "no" can stop the conversation. If you must ask questions that lead to such answers, you should prepare follow-up questions.
Step 3. Don't be too curious about other people's business
Be tactful about sensitive topics. You should use your intuition in this case, but never ask a question that you don't want to answer yourself.
Step 4. Turn your answers into questions
Conversations require two-way communication to keep going, so you'll need to keep trying to come up with lots of ways to keep the conversation going. When you send messages, try to end each message with a question that prompts the other person to respond.
- Talking can be likened to a game of catching the ball. It's great when you catch the ball, but the game can't continue until you throw the ball back to someone else.
- Don't say muting messages like "Today I feel good. I did well on the math test", but instead add questions that involve the other person, such as "Today I feel good. I did well on the math exam. How about your day?"
Step 5. Don't be afraid to talk about things that concern yourself
There is a balance to maintain in conversation: if you control the conversation and talk only about yourself, it will make you look like a selfish or arrogant person; but if you don't tell anything about yourself, you will become a mysterious person.
- Be honest. If you tell lies to create a good impression that you don't have, it will eventually bring you down. Every lie will surely be exposed.
- If the other person asks about you, try to answer it, but change the answer to a question. For example, if he asks you about your dog, try to come up with an answer like this: "His name is Duke and he's a Border Collie mix. We adopted him from an animal shelter three years ago, and now he's part of our family. Do you have any pets?"
Step 6. Use emoticons and emojis, but don't overdo it
Emoticons like “:)” and “:3” will provide emotion and character that can compensate for the unfamiliar feeling caused by interactions that occur on the internet. Using emoticons and emojis can make you look charming and friendly. However, emoticons can also show a lot things about how you feel: for example, if someone often uses a smiley face emoticon, there's a good chance they like you.
- There's nothing wrong with showing your feelings, but given the circumstances, you may want to hold back until you get to know the person better. Be careful when using emoticons and pay attention to what the other person can conclude when he sees the emoticon.
- If you want to gently let the person know that you're interested in them, try using the “:)” emoticon. Use these emoticons if there are interesting things in the conversation that will indeed make you smile in everyday life.
Step 7. Don't force the conversation
If the other person responds to a question with just one word, despite your efforts to make the conversation interesting, he or she may just not want to talk to you for a while. If there seems to be compulsion in the conversation, you can end the conversation and try again at another time.
- Not all misunderstandings that occur in conversation are your fault! Knowing someone's feelings, especially in online conversations, can be a difficult thing to do. Maybe he doesn't want to talk because he's feeling down, or has a lot of work to do, or has just had a fight with his parents.
- If you keep trying to talk to him over and over and he doesn't seem interested in talking, end the conversation. Try to spend more time meeting him in person whenever possible. However, do this only if you have a reason that makes you have to see him.
- Give him space. Everyone doesn't like to be under pressure. It's better to end the conversation than to make him feel uncomfortable.
Method 3 of 3: End the Conversation and Make a Plan
Step 1. Speak until you have nothing to talk about
Whether you're really running out of topics to talk about or have somewhere to go, you'll eventually end the conversation with the person you're talking to.
- Say something like this: "Okay, now I have to go to practice. Nice to talk to you! Have a nice day."
- Consider letting him know that you have to go, even if you don't actually have to. This is an easy way to end the conversation without creating a rude impression.
Step 2. There is no need to make a formal plan
Online conversations have different conversational procedures compared to face-to-face conversations. Online conversations are less formal. You don't have to set a specific schedule to talk to him, unless he has limited internet access. You can simply say, “We should talk again sometime!”
- If the conversation is going well, you can message the person a day or two later while both of you are online. When the two of you meet again, you should both feel closer. Build the conversation using the information and jokes you both did in the previous conversation.
- If the other person can only access the internet at certain times or places (for example, he can only access the internet for three hours in the afternoon or at a public library), then don't hesitate to make a special schedule. Send messages like: "I really enjoyed talking to you. I know you can't talk on the internet all the time – can I talk to you again on Tuesday?"
Step 3. Be careful
If you are making plans to meet in person, use your best sense to pay attention to the situation. One-time conversations don't give you much information about the person you're talking to, and what he says on the internet doesn't always correlate with his behavior in everyday life.
- Consider talking to the person you're talking to more often before deciding to meet in person.
- If you use an online dating site like OKCupid or Tinder, you should make plans to meet up as soon as possible. Use your best sense. When you meet a stranger, tell your friends where and with whom you went. Bring your cell phone with you, and if possible, try to meet in a public place (like a coffee shop) during the day.
