The art of conversation comes easily to some, but not to others. Human interaction is essential for survival and is one of the best ways to connect with other people. You may feel comfortable conversing in person or online, but find it difficult to converse at parties or business events. Going on a date can be challenging too. Finding a comfortable strategy for handling conversation in all situations will develop your connection with other people and with the world.
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Method 1 of 3: Organizing Social Conversations
Step 1. Start the conversation with simple words like, “Hello, how are you?
Depending on the response, you'll find out if the person feels comfortable talking to you or not. If he wants to have a conversation, ask him basic questions like, “Where are you going today? How long have you been staying here?”
- If the conversation continues, you can ask more personal questions. Once he shares personal information, so can you. This will improve the quality of the interaction.
- Ask questions like, “What was it like living in Bali as a child? You often go to the beach or do sports, don't you?"
- If you feel that he's starting to feel reluctant to continue the conversation, say, “It's nice to talk to you. I'll excuse myself, okay?" You can tell if the person you're talking to is reluctant to talk if they keep looking away, glancing at their watch, or seeming unfocused or in a hurry.
Step 2. Use conversation to determine matches
Conversations that take place on a date carry more stress than just casual conversation. The only way to get to know someone better is to have a conversation about things including telling each other about their interests, views, dreams, and education level. If you want to find someone you're compatible with, the conversation will bring you together.
Step 3. Be open to answering questions
Open conversation requires you to be sensitive. Notice the advantages of knowing someone more. This will keep you open. You may want to date someone, do business with them, or ask them to be your mentor.
- Thank the person for opening up and answering your questions.
- Start with simple questions and work your way up to deep questions. You may want to ask where the person went to school before inquiring about the person's relationship with the father.
- If you feel the person is uncomfortable in certain ways, don't continue the conversation. Choose another topic. Signs that a person is uncomfortable include looking down, restless, looking pale, jaw clenching, or a forced smile.
Step 4. Be an active listener
Let the person know you're listening by repeating what he or she said in a different way, or at another point in the conversation. People love to be heard and even more so to be understood.
For example, when someone is talking, keep your eyes focused on them and nod your head to show that you are listening. Wait for him to finish speaking to make comments like, “wow” or “yes, I get it”. Maybe ask follow-up questions that relate to what he said earlier
Step 5. Ask for a second date
If you're on a date and the conversation is going well, say, "Everything's going well, huh? I want to date again later." If he responds positively, arrange a second date or at least let him know when you will call or text him. Make sure you carry out the intentions stated earlier.
Step 6. Consider the age difference when conversing with someone
All, regardless of age, are happier when their lives are filled with deep and meaningful conversations. However, it can be helpful to be aware of a person's age when conversing with them.
- Don't intimidate or violate a child's personal space during a conversation. Ask easy questions and let the child respond. Children usually avoid difficult questions that have more social importance. If he doesn't want to talk to you, let him go.
- Speak in a normal voice when talking to your parents, unless the person asks you to speak louder. Don't assume that every parent is hard of hearing. Saying, “Hi, how are you today?”, will start all sorts of conversations. Learn as much as you can from your parents. They have learned a lot from life and would love to share it with you.
- Not every parent likes to be called dear.
- Be kind and understand that you may be the only person to talk to that day. A happy life has meaningful conversations.
Step 7. Focus on networking for personal and business development
You could be at a local meeting or a national gathering of people you don't know. Conversation is very important if you want to do business with someone, or if someone is paying attention to you.
- Lighten the mood with compliments like, “Your tie is great”, or “Your watch is great”, or “Those shoes are great.”
- Manage humor with care. Everyone has a different sense of humour.
- Secure contact information to grow your mailing list.
Step 8. Look for similarities that connect you to the person or people in the crowd
Humans have a tendency to look for something related to each other. A sense of comfort is obtained when you do not feel alone in the crowd. Conversations will lead you to find connections to explore.
- If you are at a wedding and sitting at a table with strangers, you have options. You can sit quietly and eat, or you can strike up a conversation to pass the time. Some people find their future soul mate at someone else's wedding. It wouldn't happen without conversation.
- Ask someone or some people around you how they know the bride or groom.
- Choose safe topics and avoid political, religious and sexual content. Avoid fighting at least until the bride and groom have cut the cake.
- Talk about the food served, and hope it's good.
- If the conversation doesn't go well, say that you need to go to the bathroom or to another table to meet someone you know. Wedding parties are usually held in a beautiful place. Take advantage of that and find a nice place to have a conversation. Maybe the bar is your destination.
Step 9. End the conversation gracefully
There are times when you want to end the conversation on a date, at the end of a meeting, or when you're exhausted. You have the right to end the conversation if you need to. Be nice and say, “I'm glad you came to see me today. I guess I have to go now.” Graceful conversation endings are your target.
Method 2 of 3: Have a Private Conversation
Step 1. Organize your thoughts before speaking
You will be having a private conversation with someone, so prepare yourself mentally. Set clear goals and desired outcomes. Private conversations are usually private for a reason. Think about what you will say and how you will respond to the questions that will be asked.
- If you want to tell someone you have feelings for them, explain how you feel about them. Are you ready to date or just want to date? What are your expectations? Do you just want to be friends?
- If you want to ask for a raise at work, think about things you can do that will support your request. What is your best performance? Do you take the initiative to complete all the work?
Step 2. Write down what you want to say before saying it
This will clear up your thoughts and expectations. The art of writing will let you focus on what needs to be covered in a conversation. Regular conversations are more productive conversations.
Practice speaking what you write down as this will reduce the stress you feel
Step 3. Exercise before you talk to the person
This will reduce anxiety and calm you down. Choose something you enjoy doing and focus your attention on exercising well. Your head will feel clear when you have that conversation.
Being responsive in behavior and communication with someone you have a crush on is the key to a good relationship
Step 4. Set a date and time for the conversation
Most people are very busy so arrange a time so that the conversation is useful for everyone. There will be times when you just can't manage it. Instead, choose the right time at that time. If you are prepared, you will be able to respond when needed.
Step 5. Practice relaxation techniques
Moments leading up to an important conversation can be filled with nervousness. Find ways to manage your anxiety. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and say, “I can do this. This is very important to me and I have to do it.”
Step 6. Push yourself
Sometimes we need a little push to get things done. You push yourself because what you want to talk about is very important and you are willing to take risks. The possible outcome binds you to do something. It won't happen if you don't.
- Once you are with the person, take a breath and say to yourself, “One, two, three, come on,” then say what to say. Say, “Hey, I want to talk to you about something that interests me. I hope you feel that way too. I'm so glad we spent time together and I want to have more quality time with you. What do you think?" These words will give you a good starting point. Let the person's answer guide the conversation.
- Be prepared for the possibility that he might not feel the same way you do. Starting a conversation with some ambiguity will lead you to safety or the freedom to continue or divert the next conversation.
Step 7. Keep the conversation going by asking questions
Open-ended questions are better, but you can ask closed questions, and yes-or-no questions. Open-ended questions are created to trigger detailed answers. If you're prepared to have a conversation, you'll never run out of topics to ask.
- Examples of open-ended questions include, “Tell me a little about how it felt to live in Semarang as a child”. Questions like these will lead you to topics around family, education, and other interesting topics.
- An example of a closed question is, “Did you find a good parking space?” While this triggers a yes or no answer, this question can also lead you to a detailed conversation about the parking lot situation in your area that could lead to another topic.
- Meaningful conversation will include both types, so don't let stress be the main culprit as the conversation will evaporate quickly.
Step 8. Maintain good eye contact
Seeing someone while they are talking shows that you respect them. If your eyes begin to glance at other parts of your body, or glance at people passing by, the person you're talking to will notice this and will feel irritated or lose interest in chatting with you. If the other person is looking at you while you are talking, you should do the same.
There are different cultures that believe that taking your eyes off someone is a sign of respect. You should determine beforehand whether cultural differences will have an impact on the conversation
Step 9. Put the phone away
Cell phones near you can cause unwanted interference. Distractions from cell phones will keep your attention away from the other person and the conversation. Determine if the conversation requires your full attention. The more serious the topic, the more likely you are to keep distractions away.
Step 10. Be an active listener
If you ask someone a question, you should listen to the answer without interrupting. Once the person is done, you can ask a new question, or ask a question to clarify or reflect on the person's emotions. When someone knows you're listening and realizes that they're being listened to, the interaction feels even more comfortable. As the conversation gets comfortable, you can ask more in-depth and intimate questions.
Step 11. Be kind and courageous when sharing bad news
It's very difficult to tell someone bad news, whether it's firing someone, letting someone know that someone's family is gone, or breaking up with someone. It's perfectly normal to feel nervous, agitated, and try to avoid it. Unfortunately, there are times when things are unavoidable and you have to be able to do it.
- Use the sandwich technique. This technique is to say something positive about the other person, share the bad news, and then end with a positive statement. This will help soften the feeling of receiving bad news. Depending on the intensity of the news being conveyed, anything that helps alleviate the situation will be of great use.
- For example, you might say, "You're easy to talk to and I'm sure a lot of people like you. Unfortunately, we decided not to have any job openings open. I'm sure other bosses would be happy to have an employee like you.”
Step 12. Make it as light as possible
Don't prolong the unavoidable, so come clean as soon as possible. This is the thing that shows the most concern. If you prolong a conversation that ends with bad news, you're more likely to get a negative reaction.
- Start the conversation by saying, “Look, I have some bad news and you must be sad. So I just said, okay? I got a call. Your mother died. Is there anything I can help?"
- Listening to the other person express their feelings and anxieties is an important part of the conversation.
- Share a similar experience with that person by saying, “I know when our mother died it was very hard. I am sorry that you have to go through this.”
Step 13. Practice your approach
The longer you practice your approach to different types of conversations, the better conversations you will make. When the time comes, it won't be too difficult. Develop techniques for dealing with people such as auto mechanics, contractors, store clerks, and people on buses or trains.
For example, if you're constantly having trouble with a contractor working on your home, talk to him or her by saying, “I'm looking for someone who will keep his word rather than promise nothing but does a great job. It is better to have honest communication than to feel guilty in that situation if expectations are not met.” They will tell you if they are willing to take up the challenge. This will set expectations which will help you in case of problems in the future
Step 14. Be prepared to deliver the good news
One of the pleasures of life is sharing good news with someone. Sometimes you have to be prepared instead of telling it right away. If you're planning to chat about pregnancy, or marriage, or getting a job in Jakarta, you've got to have a plan.
- Consider everyone's reactions and plans accordingly. If you know that your mother will be surprised to hear the good news, choose a suitable location.
- Anticipate the questions the other person will ask during the conversation. For example, when you are pregnant and other people want to know when the birth is, when you have chosen the baby's name and how you feel.
- Be open to answering questions and remember that other people enjoy being with you.
- If you're proposing to someone, decide where, when, and what you're going to say. Whether on top of a mountain at sunset or on a boat in the morning, the conversation that leads to the proposal and the conversation that follows will be nerve-wracking. This is a special moment, so be careful so you won't be disappointed.
Method 3 of 3: Have an Online Conversation
Step 1. Write and respond to emails as if they represented you
Online conversations can be a very important part of everyday experiences, including any kind of education. Your words represent who you are and who you are. So, try your best because it's important. If you can't have a face-to-face conversation, your impression of yourself will be formed from online communication.
Step 2. Deliver the right tone in SMS and email
Be aware that your SMS and email tones can be misinterpreted. Online conversations are one-dimensional and can be misinterpreted. You can't meet the person in person to notice the body language, tone of voice, and emotion in the conversation.
- Choose polite words.
- Don't use capital letters throughout texts or emails. This can be perceived as a scream.
- Use emoticons, small pictures of facial expressions that show emotion, to clarify the emotional meaning of your comments or conversations.
Step 3. Start and end online communications politely and professionally
For example, always include a greeting, such as, “Dear _, I was delighted to receive an email from you today and I just wanted to get in touch with you.” End by saying, “Thank you for letting me explain my situation. I'm waiting for your reply. Regards, _.”
Step 4. Be honest and don't beat around the bush
If you have a question, ask right away. Depending on the person you're talking to, you may only have a few seconds to get the person's attention.
Step 5. Be friendly
Treat others as you would like to be treated. Even if you have to talk about a conflict or dissatisfaction, you can maintain a professional attitude. For example, “Dear _, I noticed an error was made by your company. I contacted you today intending to resolve this issue and hope that this matter can be resolved amicably.”
Step 6. Show respect when conversing on social media
Whether spending an hour per day or per month on the internet, everyone has a reputation on the internet. The power of positive action and the disastrous consequences of mistakes on the internet can change your circumstances in the blink of an eye. Every comment you make on social media can be something that starts a conversation or a response that can continue the conversation.
Step 7. Explain your point of view without being rude
For example, you could say, "I understand why you're upset, and I need to tell you why too." Stop before making a comment. Ask yourself, “Will this hurt or discourage the other person, or cause problems for me in future interactions?” Think twice before sending it. Remember that you can't take your words back.
Step 8. Don't attack a community
The nature of being anonymous in the world of commenting on the internet carries the potential to spread an oppressive mentality. If you start a conversation from on a social media site and someone doesn't like the comment, a bunch of haters will follow you. Some people can be violent people because they believe no one will catch or punish them.
Step 9. Don't respond to conversations that will upset you or lead you deeper into negativity
If someone says something to you, distract yourself. Positive comments will always result in a positive response. Choose the type of comment and every online conversation will be a positive one.
Step 10. Use SMS to chat with other people
SMS lets you connect with your loved ones. Some age groups use it more often than others, and some people overuse texting to the point of causing health problems. SMS is a very useful medium in today's conversation. When your life gets busier, you don't have time to call or talk to loved ones.
Step 11. Practice good manners when sending SMS
If someone sends you a text, reply in no time. The manners that are applied to one-on-one conversations must be shown in the conversation in the SMS.
- If you text and don't reply, don't be upset. Send a second SMS and ask if the person received it.
- If you're annoyed when someone doesn't text you back, you can say, "Hello, can you text me at least a "Y". So I know you've received my text and I don't have to worry.”
Step 12. Stay connected with your family
If your grandparents have email and cell phones, send them a message letting them know that you love and care about them. Grandparents sometimes feel neglected and will be happy to know how you are doing. If they are able and interested, they will not be too old to learn new things.
Tips
- Be open to answering questions.
- Be brave in social situations. Share your thoughts and opinions even if you feel a little uncomfortable.
- Appreciate the fact that some people don't like to chat while on a plane or in other situations.
- A smile and a friendly greeting will lighten the mood in most situations.
- If you don't want to talk, say "I don't want to talk right now. Thank you for leaving me alone."
- Not everyone is a conversationalist, but if you learn the basics, you can get through most situations.
- Silence is very important to everyone. Appreciate whoever wants it.
- Don't say you love someone until you're absolutely sure. If you say it too soon, your ability to be trusted will be in doubt.
