Do you often find it difficult to start a conversation with people you don't know? If so, get rid of your worries from now on, especially since the courage to interact with strangers is the door to a richer and happier social life! Whenever you feel ready to step out of your comfort zone to make friends or just chat with new people, start the process by choosing the right opening topic, then work your way up the depth of the conversation from there. If possible, practice these skills in a variety of conversational situations to expand your relationship. With enough practice, you won't be having a hard time conversing with new people any time soon!
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Method 1 of 4: Making Eye Contact and Initiating Conversation
Step 1. Make eye contact before approaching the person you want to talk to
Basically, eye contact indicates interest and attachment. If he returns your gaze, congratulations! Smile, and hurry up to him. However, if he just looks away or doesn't seem interested in talking to you, turn around and make eye contact with a different person.
Make eye contact, but don't look away too quickly or stare at him constantly. Ideally, you only need to make eye contact for a maximum of 2 seconds
Step 2. Assess the other person's body language
Approach someone who isn't crossing their arms or legs, and doesn't appear to be busy or distracted by anything (or by someone else). Once you start talking, observe his posture. If he's leaning toward you and seems to be actively contributing to the conversation, then he doesn't mind continuing the conversation. Keep monitoring his body language throughout the conversation, okay?
Don't focus too much on how you feel or the words you have to say. If you're only focused on yourself, you're more likely to miss signals about how the other person is feeling. Therefore, pay greater attention to the opponent's body language and the comfort of the other person
Step 3. Have light, casual, and easy-to-develop conversations
If the conversation opens directly on a very deep or personal topic, chances are the situation will feel very awkward. As a result, the continuity of the conversation will not be guaranteed. Therefore, always start the conversation on a light and casual topic, such as about the weather, the other person's activities for the weekend or his plans for the following weekend, and show genuine curiosity. If you want, you can also comment on very trivial things and build a conversation from there.
For example, you might say, “Gosh, it's raining so hard! Looks like I have to buy an umbrella made of concrete if the water discharge is this big!”
Step 4. Ask open-ended questions to learn more about the other person
Regardless of the location, whether it's in the doctor's office, in front of a supermarket checkout, or on a plane, one of the best ways to initiate a conversation with someone you find interesting is to ask open-ended questions. However, no matter how much you want to know him, don't start the conversation with a personal question. Instead, choose a light and casual topic!
For example, if you want to chat with someone at the supermarket, try asking, “Have you tried this food before? Does it taste good?”
Step 5. Give praise if there is an aspect that you really like about the other person
Remember, most people love compliments. As a result, offering compliments is an effective way to start a conversation with someone. The trick, observe the person to find things that are interesting in your eyes, then praise the attractiveness. Trust me, compliments are very effective at making the other person feel better and encouraging them to open up more to you.
- For example, you could say, “I love your bag! It fits well, you know, with the clothes you're wearing."
- If you want to make a quick flirt, try commenting on the person's eyes, smile, or hair by saying, "Your smile is so cute" or "I love the color of your hair."
Step 6. Tell a few things about yourself to make the other person feel more comfortable
Don't talk too much about aspects that are too personal or less important, like your ex-spouse or your boring job. Instead, just throw in a short, personal sentence to show your openness to him. He should be encouraged to open up to you afterward.
For example, you might say, “Oh, I'm so happy that I'm buying a dog today! You have pets, don't you?"
Step 7. Find what you both have in common
One of the quickest ways to get closer to someone is to find something in common between the two of you. For example, he may wear a hat that only alumnus of your alma mater has, or may be seen carrying a pair of boxing gloves and a gym bag when you are also passionate about boxing. If that's the case, don't hesitate to approach him to dig up more information regarding the similarities between the two of you, and build a conversation on the topic
- For example, try saying, “Your bike is great! I also have the same bike you know, at home. When was yours made, huh?”
- Or you could also say, “How old is your dog? I also have a puppy at home. Their energy is truly amazing!”
Step 8. Respect other people's physical limitations
Don't touch someone you just met, unless the situation requires you to. For example, if you just met someone, just shake their hand, but don't hug them. Some people also feel uncomfortable if you stand too close to them.
Even if your intention is good, such as to offer protection or assistance that involves physical touch, still ask the person for permission before doing so. For example, if you see a stranger stumbling and falling, first ask, "Would you like some help standing up?"
Step 9. Keep your distance from people who seem reluctant to chat with you
In fact, not everyone is willing to put in the time and energy to listen to the words of people they don't know. Therefore, if the person you're talking to seems disinterested, moves away, or just gives too short an answer, step away from the person immediately and move on to someone else.
Say thank you for the time he has taken, and quickly get away from his presence
Method 2 of 4: Approaching Someone at a Social Event
Step 1. Try to blend in to find your comfort zone
Most people attend social events for fun. That's why, your opportunities to chat casually with lots of new people are actually very wide open! Take advantage of these opportunities to mingle and find the most comfortable person to chat with in a more private manner.
Most likely, opportunities to socialize will arise without being asked. Take these opportunities to chat with interesting people who make you feel comfortable
Step 2. Enlist the help of the event host or a friend to introduce you to new people
If a stranger turns out to be on pretty good terms with your friend, try asking their friend to introduce you to that person and tell you a few things about them. Trust me, having mutual friends will minimize the potential for awkwardness at various social events! In addition to being effective at breaking the ice, this method will also bring you closer to other people or groups that were previously unknown. Ask the person why he or she knows your friend.
For example, your mutual friend might say, “Hey Aya, introduce yourself, this is Annie. You both love mountain biking, you know, that's why I'm introducing you because you seem like a good match.”
Step 3. Ask questions related to the event
In fact, the event you attend can also be a topic of conversation, you know. For example, you can ask the party who invited him or a relationship he knows at the event. If you want, you can also ask questions related to the schedule of the event, such as, "What time does the show start, anyway?" or, “What time does the speaker show up, huh? This is my first time attending this event.”
Approach someone and try to say, "How do you know this party?" or "It's pretty hard, you know, getting this party invitation. Who else do you know here?”
Step 4. Sit or stand around food or drink
In fact, both are one of the keys to uniting strangers, you know! So if you're at a social event and want to meet new people, try talking to him at a table with food or asking him to sit (or stand) side by side with you while eating. It's not difficult to comment on food and build conversation topics from there. If you want, you can also offer to get a drink or line up for food with him, then start chatting with the person about the food being served.
- For example, you might say, “This drink is delicious. What do you think?"
- You can also say, “Have you tried this bread yet? Try it. What do you think the seasoning is, huh?”
Step 5. Join the activities that other people are doing
If someone seems to be playing games or doing other group activities, ask permission to join. Believe me, you can more easily and comfortably initiate conversations in smaller groups.
For example, if a lot of people seem to be watching a television show or video clip together, don't hesitate to join in. Then, ask one of them, "What other television shows do you watch?" and look for similarities between the two of you that you can use to prolong the conversation
Method 3 of 4: Approaching Someone in Public
Step 1. Offer to help
If someone seems lost in an area you know well, don't hesitate to offer help. Besides being very commendable, this action is actually effective in opening a conversation with that person, you know! In fact, it's possible that you both have the same goals that you can walk or drive together.
Never hesitate to offer help, whether it's for people who seem lost or who seem to have a hard time carrying their groceries. Maybe what started as a favor could end up in friendship, right?
Step 2. Ask the origin
In particular, do this if you are in a large city with frequent visitors. In addition to being effective at opening a good conversation, there will always be an interesting story behind the process of someone taking a vacation or even moving residence, so you can definitely increase the depth of the conversation on the topic.
For example, if you're at a concert, try asking where the person standing next to you is from. Chances are, you'll hear interesting stories from his mouth, such as that he came from very far away or decided to attend the concert without any prior plans
Step 3. Use humor to make other people laugh
In fact, humor is the easiest way to strengthen your relationships with other people, including people you don't know, especially since humans tend to open up more easily and feel comfortable when they're laughing. Therefore, do not hesitate to mention the ridiculous events that occurred at that time to people you do not know.
Tell a joke, make a comment, or point out something you think is ridiculous
Step 4. Join in a well-attended activity
If you are in a public place that is crowded with visitors, try to join in the various activities they do. For example, if you find a group of people sitting in a circle playing the drums, join them and play your music. If you see a street performer, stop what you are doing to watch him perform with the rest of the audience. Besides being fun, the experience will also bring you closer to many strangers who share similar goals. While watching, you can initiate conversations about the viewing experience with them.
Attend concerts and food festivals held in your city. Find information about various community events being held in your city, then attend them to meet and meet new people
Method 4 of 4: Approaching Someone in a Professional Context
Step 1. Comment on work-related matters
When you have to meet someone in a professional context, try to keep the topic in the line of work at the beginning of the conversation. This means don't immediately bring up casual topics or be overly friendly because this behavior seems unprofessional. Apart from work, you can also raise topics related to each other in a professional context.
For example, you could say, "Hi, I'm Trevor, we happen to be working on the same project."
Step 2. Give constructive criticism and suggestions
If the person has an amazing piece of work in your eyes, feel free to leave a comment. If any of his opinions are correct, feel free to voice your agreement. If the two of you are at a meeting together, try approaching her after the meeting to ask her to have a more in-depth discussion or share your views.
Try saying, “Your presentation was great! Usually I always get bored when I listen to other people's presentations, but your material is very interesting and informative. Where did the video come from, huh?”
Step 3. Ask for advice or opinions
If the person is known to be an expert in your area of interest, try asking them for helpful tips. Don't worry, most people like to share their knowledge with others, really, especially if that person seems interested in their expertise.
For example, you might say, “Wow, you know a lot about photo editing. Can you recommend a good photo editing app for beginners?”
Step 4. Avoid topics that seem unprofessional and have the potential to make the other person lazy to respond
In fact, there are some topics that should not be brought up in front of strangers because they sound impudent or over the line, especially in a professional context. For example, don't mention your business partner's pregnancy. Don't forget to bring up topics related to political choices, religion, physical appearance (including weight), or topics that are too personal for you (such as divorce or the death of a relative). Therefore, make sure you always choose a neutral and non-controversial topic of conversation.
