Your relationship with your daughter may not always be close. He may be busy with his computer, cell phone, friends, or schoolwork. When you talk, he doesn't listen or just walks away. He may find you embarrassing, and you don't know how to change that.
You may also be busy with work, family, money, and more. Is the problem familiar to you? If so, you need to improve your relationship with your child and strengthen the bond.
It may sound difficult, but after a while, you'll realize that it's quite easy. After all, she is your daughter. However, if you still can't find a way to enjoy your time with him and are having trouble developing a bond, don't worry. Just read this article to get all the help you need.
Step
Step 1. Make time to be with your daughter
Try to find time in your schedule to do things with him. Pick a specific day and time when you and he both have free time, such as Sunday or Friday Night. It's a good idea to do it on the same day and time each week to make it easier to remember. Vacations are a great time because your daughter doesn't have to go to school. If he works part time during the holiday season, try to find time on the weekends. Ask for reduced working hours on that day, if necessary. Try to spend at least an hour or two with him. Ask, "Would you like to do something _ tonight?" Or, ask when he free, and you customize. However, on school nights, he might be busy with his work. Appreciate the need to do the work, and find another time.
Step 2. Know what your daughter likes
By knowing what he likes, you'll know what to do and where to go. Observe him to see what he enjoys doing, but not too often. He may use the computer a lot, watch TV, draw, read, or play outside. Then, take a closer look at what he's doing to better understand what he really likes. If he reads, ask what which he reads. If he's watching TV, ask what what he's watching, and if he's engrossed in the computer or playing outside, ask what which he plays. You can get an idea of what he likes, and when you ask, he'll be happy that you're interested in knowing. His interests may be very different from yours, but don't try to change what he likes and doesn't like.
Try to learn about your daughter's interests, and do some things related to the activity. For example, if he likes to read, you can read with him at home or take him to the library. If he likes soccer, try a quick game in the backyard or park. If he likes to paint or draw, take him to an art museum
Step 3. Take her shopping
If there's one thing that can shape a relationship between women, it's shopping. You will have the opportunity to chat and learn more about your daughter's interests while buying new things. Take her monthly grocery shopping to help choose good groceries or snacks. Have him put the foods he likes into the shopping cart and help decide what drinks to buy. If she enjoys reading, take her to a bookstore and hunt for books together. Or, go to the mall to buy clothes and shoes. You can also ask him to help choose clothes for you. She would love to be a "fashion consultant," especially if she loves fashion. If he's a kid, you can also take him to a toy store.
Let him choose according to his own taste. When buying clothes, shoes, books, or anything else, let your daughter choose what she likes, especially if she's a teenager. He just wants to express himself and be himself. You can ask, "Do you like this?", but don't force her to buy and wear anything she doesn't like. Go to a store that your daughter likes so she can find something she really wants
Step 4. Go outside
If you don't feel like shopping, there are plenty of other options. You can try swimming pools, parks, beaches, restaurants, museums, playgrounds, and so on. Once you know what he likes, you can estimate where he wants to go. Again, pick a place he likes. Take a girl who loves basketball to watch her favorite team play, or to an arts and crafts store if she's a child artist. Another important factor is the weather. Check the weather forecast on the internet, TV, or newspapers. Choose outdoor activities, such as playing in the garden and pool on a sunny day. In the rainy season, invite him to drink hot chocolate at a cafe or play in the rain. You can always play with it in your yard, whatever the weather. A favorite game in the country of the four seasons in winter is building a snow fort. If he likes sports, try ice skating. Don't worry if it rains because you can get to the cinema, restaurants, indoor swimming pools, libraries, museums, and almost any sheltered place.
Step 5. Watch old movies at home
Watching a movie is a fun activity on a rainy day, it also brings the two of you closer together. Unpack your movie collection and choose the ones you both want to watch. Make sure the film is age-appropriate. Family comedies are great for all ages and will make you and your child smile. In addition, there are many other films that inspire. Some examples are the Adventures of Sherina, Kartini, and Laskar Pelangi. If you don't have a movie collection, try borrowing it at a DVD rental or watching it at the cinema. Another option is to watch TV. There are several TV shows that your daughter might like, and make sure you have time to spend with her. TV shows usually air at the same time, and that's great for establishing a schedule. If you and your daughter are not home, record the show to watch later.
Step 6. Help him do his schoolwork
As a mother, you must support your child's education. Give help if he asks. Don't tell him the answer, but help him. For example, if he's having trouble with a math problem, don't just say "32". Say, "You have to _" and make sure he pays attention. Complete each step together, for example "Then multiply. How much is 9 x 13?" so he knows what to do. Also, try to help even if he doesn't ask, but you feel he needs help. If he's been struggling with PR for a long time, let him know that he can ask you for help if needed. Do the same if your daughter scores low on the test.
- Make learning an exciting process. Turn spelling and vocabulary lessons into word games. Or, try a role-playing game with him playing the teacher and you the student.
- Study with him. In the lead up to the test, it is your responsibility to help him study. He may have suggestions on how to study on his own. For example, you say a word or term, and he tells you what it means.
Step 7. Play something at home
Another way to interact with girls is games. On a relaxing evening, invite him to play. You can try family games such as monopoly, scrabble, chess, snakes and ladders, halma, and others. Card games can also be tried, such as rummy, War, poker, or UNO.
Step 8. Try cooking together
One way to strengthen bonds with girls is to cook or bake cakes together. When he's older, you can teach him how to cook, too. Take out the recipe book and choose one. You can both make pastries, layer cakes, brownies, or market snacks. Plus, you can make breads, donuts, tarts, chips, smoothies, soups, stews, or ice cream.
Remember that you cook together. Let him do the cooking, such as breaking eggs, kneading dough, pouring water, and decorating. Accept that the results will not be perfect because he is a child or teenager who is still learning. However, don't let him use the oven until you're sure he's mature enough and responsible for working with fire and heat. However, don't spoil him forever because your child should be able to cook with fire by about 11 or 12 years of age
Step 9. Show that you love him
Your daughter already knows that you love her, but are you really showing it? Even if you spend time with him playing or watching TV, is it really that special quality time? You may not know how, but it's the little things that matter. Take him for walks, chats and enjoy nature. Comfort her when she's sad with a hug or a small gift, such as a book or doll. Say encouraging words often, such as "You can do it", "I believe in you", or "You are a talented artist/swimmer/ball player!". Make sure you praise his efforts because it's important for him to know that success is determined by effort and process, including learning from mistakes. With your support, he will have a positive attitude.
Step 10. Talk to him
It's important for your daughter to know that she can always come up and talk things over with you. When you're talking, make sure you're looking at him, and he's looking at you too. Say, "I want you to listen" in a calm, friendly tone. Try to keep the conversation short and sweet, or he'll get bored, unfocused, and feel like he's in trouble or being lectured. State your point in the first sentence, and choose simple, unambiguous, and/or brief words. You should also often have casual conversations. Conversations between mother and child do not always have to be serious. Talk quietly about school. For example, what happens at school? How was school today? Also try to talk about deeper topics. Ask about his hopes for the future, his sport, or his hobbies.
Step 11. Listen to your daughter
Not only does he have to listen to you, you have to listen to him too. Otherwise, he'll feel okay if he doesn't pay attention to what other people are talking about. Also, be aware that children know when their parents aren't really listening, and that it's not a pleasant feeling because they feel helpless. So stop what you are doing and look at him. Make eye contact so you can listen. To show that you hear, ask questions. Also, rearrange the words in your own. For example, "So you mean _" or "You said _?" so you can clarify what he just said.
Listen to what he wants to do. For example, if he wants to go to the movies, don't say "No." Let's see what you can do. Check what movies are showing or ask him what movies he would like to see. Even if you don't want to, sometimes you have to let him do what he wants
Step 12. Make sure you are always there for him
Make him feel your presence, whether by accompanying him at an important event, offering advice, or offering a word of encouragement. If he wants you to attend a sporting event, music show, school event, or other important event, make an effort to come. If not, tell me why. Try canceling your other activities for the day, but if there's something you can't leave, make sure you tell them why.
- Offer help. If you see he's having a hard time, such as with school, sports, or music, help him out. Listen to him play the flute, call his teacher, help him with homework, or play basketball with him.
- Give encouragement. When he's having trouble, you have to give him encouragement and words and actions that will encourage him. Say "great" when he does something great, and give him gifts that say "good!", such as a book.
- Give praise. For example, "You have a nice dress" or "I like the arrangement of your room."
Step 13. Be proud of his talent
Recognizing a child's talent is a form of encouragement and will make him or her feel happy. Ask him if he'd like to audition and test for the play, guitar solo, or basketball team in or out of school (but don't push it), he'll probably agree. See if you can get him into a class or team. Another way is to participate in its activities. For example, playing soccer, having a concert at home, or having him teach you dance moves. It will make her happy, you learn something new, and the bond between mother and child will deepen.
Step 14. Treat him well
This may not need to be explained further, but your kindness will have a huge impact on your relationship with your child. Don't yell when he fights or makes a mistake. On the other hand, you should remain calm and speak well when explaining that he has done something you didn't like or wished you wouldn't repeat. Say, "I want you to do this" or "Please do this", not "Do this" or "Do this now". He may be more compliant if you ask nicely. Also, give real reasons, not just "Because mom said so." He will be more responsive if he realizes that there are dangers, social pressures, or health problems as a result of the choices he makes. Also, hug and kiss him before bed, or in the morning before he leaves for school. Make sure to always part well each day.
Respect your daughter. He is human, and you have to remember that. There are some things about him that you may not agree with or understand, but you should still respect them. He can have his own opinion
Step 15. Trust him
This can be difficult, but you have to try to trust your child. The reason you might not believe it is because he often lies. However, it may be because you lied. Then, he thought that lying was okay. So, it's time to be a role model for your daughter (as well as others). You must always be honest, keep your promises, and don't deny. However, if something is keeping you from keeping your promise, let him know. Tell him the reason because he might be wondering. When you see him doing something responsible, like doing his homework, practicing music, or getting an A on a test, you can give him more confidence.
Express your feelings. Tell him that he can always tell you, and that he has to be honest. Also express your feelings. Tell him how you feel and occasionally ask him for advice. Also, ask him if he has any problems and how his day was
Tips
- Don't be afraid to say, "I love you."
- Remember that your daughter is a human being with her own will. He has the freedom to do and say what he wants. So don't force him to do anything. When shopping, let him choose. If you like a purple dress for her and she likes orange, buy an orange one.
- You have to be positive when shopping with him. He takes your opinion into account so you have to be positive. Say, "You suit blue, how about we buy blue?" instead of "You don't suit red". You have to be honest, but also fun.
- Little moments are precious. You don't have to plan anything big. Laughing together was already a moment he would remember.
- Be a role model. Girls want to be like their mothers. So you have to be a good example. Be friendly if you want him to be friendly, and if you want him to read more, you should read a lot too.
- Stick to the budget. You may be inclined to spend more than you should on your child, but don't forget the budget. You can get good prices at stores that offer discounts.
- Make crafts together. For example, making flowers from tissue paper, clippings, and more. If he knows how to make something, ask him to "teach" you.
- Take your daughter to work when there is a family event. This is a great opportunity for him to see how you are doing, as well as strengthen the bond with him.
Warning
- Let him enjoy his alone time. Don't always overshadow your daughter. Let him have some personal space and time to himself. You can check in every now and then, but she might get annoyed if it's too frequent.
- Do not be stingy. As mentioned above, you need to be smart when shopping, but don't be stingy. Try to find a balance between spending too much and too little.
- Don't give him everything he wants. This may be difficult, but she has to learn that she can't have everything right away when she wants it. There are several things to work on. Teach him to save to buy something. In this way, he will learn to be responsible.
- Don't let him use the oven alone when you're baking with him and if you're not in the kitchen. Children aged 9–15 need an adult to supervise and you must take over if they are 4–8 years old. If she asks why she needs adult supervision, explain that she could get burned, and that burning is painful. If he says he wants to bake a cake in the oven, say, "No, honey, you're going to burn and hurt." This explanation is very easy for small children to understand.
