Parenting a teenager can be challenging for your emotional state, but a good one. Studies show that parents of teenagers experience high levels of stress and a decline in their mental health. However, that does not mean that parents of teenagers are helpless.
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Part 1 of 4: Communicating Effectively with Teens
Step 1. Show empathy and balance
Try to put yourself in his shoes, but don't follow his ups and downs.
- Always approach difficult situations by trying to understand your child's feelings. If you don't care about his emotional state, he may feel rejected.
- Empathy is great, but "getting caught" is not. Your child needs you as a role model. Don't let his emotions or yours stop you from thinking clearly and acting responsibly.
Step 2. Don't judge
Your teen is going through new experiences to find out his identity. Don't prevent this from happening. You may not approve of his new activities, style of dress, or interests, but don't criticize him. One of the things that must be done in educating teenagers is to "learn not to control."
By accepting your child's experimentation, you acknowledge his situation as an independent adult
Step 3. Express your appreciation
When your teen is stubborn, it's easy for you to forget all the good things. A positive attitude can go unnoticed because it is expected. By expressing gratitude for their positive attitude, you can also make your child more confident and encourage them to be kind more often.
If you give your child more negative attention, he may feel that he is always making mistakes. If you ignore his good behavior, he may feel that he is not important. You should pay attention when your child is being nice
Step 4. Keep opening up
It is normal for children to start talking less to their parents when they are teenagers. It's not that you can't chat with him. It just means you can't decide when you can chat with him.
Maybe your child wants to talk to you unexpectedly or when he's nervous. Don't put it off. This could be your only chance to talk about what's bothering him and you want to let your child know that you are always there for them if they need to talk
Step 5. Make him a teacher
If you want to connect with your child but your interests are different, ask your child to teach you a new interest. By sharing the same interests, if at any time there is a debate or discussion between you, you too can deal with it more easily.
By viewing the child as an expert, he will feel respected and intelligent. This is the key to building healthy independence
Step 6. Establish a family structure and time for the family
Even if your child wants freedom, it is important to maintain a family structure that connects him to the family.
- Accept your teen's friendship. This way, you not only connect with your child, but also learn who influences them. Involve your child's friends in family activities.
- Make time for family. Routines such as dinners and family vacations can connect your child with family. Keeping family close is healthy, and chances are your child will appreciate this even if he may not show it.
Part 2 of 4: Establishing Ground Rules for Conduct
Step 1. Clarify existing regulations
As children grow and change, the rules must also change. Most teenagers expect greater freedom, and parents must accommodate this desire fairly. Negotiating issues like "room rights" can be difficult, but the payoff is worth the effort.
- Don't let your child guess. Your child may wonder if he still has a curfew, still has homework to do, etc. Clarify the new rules. If you don't discuss how this rule changes properly, you could end up fighting.
- Explain to the child why the rules mean and why there are rules. Even if your child doesn't agree, it's important for him to understand that rules are not set lightly.
Step 2. Wait and repeat
It's frustrating when your child ignores you, but don't get mad. Repeat the request quietly until he complies.
Don't mistake his laziness or forgetfulness as an act of rebellion
Step 3. Practice patience
Chances are you won't get the results right away. If you are persistent and consistent, chances are you will get the desired results.
Try exercises like yoga or meditation to help you relax. If you are patient and calm, chances are your child will respond in the same way
Step 4. Don't miss the heavy stuff
When children become teenagers, it's time to discuss tough issues like drugs and sex. Don't put off this conversation just because you're feeling awkward.
- If you haven't discussed it with your teen, now is the time. Talking about sex is a natural part of life. Be honest and nonjudgmental.
- Studies show that teens who discuss sex with their parents are more likely to become responsible for their activities. Make sure you discuss sexually transmitted diseases, contraception, mutual consent, and the emotional elements of sex.
- Drugs and alcohol should be discussed with the same sensitivity as sex. Try asking your child's opinion about drug and alcohol use. Tell us what you think about this, and think about how you would answer questions about your past or present in relation to it. After that, make sure you discuss the issue of encouragement from friends, the effect it has on health, and drunk driving.
Part 3 of 4: Disciplining Children the Right Way
Step 1. Ask questions
Instead of asking why your child is breaking the rules, ask questions like, "Why did you do that?" Your child will have to think about it carefully and eventually realize his mistake without you having to explain.
It's okay if your child feels guilty. If your child realizes that what he or she has done is wrong, the emotion he feels when he realizes it can be a more effective punishment than the punishment given by the parents
Step 2. Provide short-term consequences
Appropriate punishment lasting several hours or days, depending on the offense, can have effective results.
Sentences of longer duration often increase your child's chances of disobedience. But if your child sees this punishment ending, chances are he can accept it
Step 3. Try to be rational
Your child should view the punishment as a reasonable response to his behavior that violates the rules. If you let your emotions dictate the punishment, chances are your child will see this punishment as arbitrary and cruel.
Be an example for your child. Teach your child constructive ways to deal with conflict so that he or she has a constructive reference for behavior in future relationships
Step 4. Try to be specific
When conveying concerns, your choice of words can greatly influence your conversation.
State clearly why you are upset. Words like "irresponsible" can make a child feel attacked. Instead, describe the offense clearly
Step 5. Try to apply the penalty until it runs out
If you give punishment but do not carry it out, your reputation in his eyes will be damaged. Your child may think he's not in trouble if he acts like that and may act even more.
Step 6. Try to be consistent
When you've just had a long day, it can be tempting to let your child break the rules. Keep in mind that if your child feels that rules are being applied arbitrarily, they may not take them seriously.
Part 4 of 4: Seeking Help
Step 1. Involve other parents
Sometimes, raising a child required the help of a village. If needed, ask other parents for help. The values taught will not be effective if other families do not teach them too. Therefore, try to talk to other parents who also have contact with your child to make sure the rules you provide are also applied.
- For example, if your child is watching a movie at a friend's house, contact the friend's parents beforehand and let them know what types of movies are allowed.
- If you can't get the parent to follow your rules, don't let your child follow them.
Step 2. Ask a mentor for help
Often the advice of parents is not heard by children, but the words of teachers, coaches, family members, or parents of friends can be heard more.
- Tell your child not to go straight home when school is over so he can chat with his favorite teacher or coach. Allow your child to spend time with family members he or she trusts.
- Make sure you know and agree with the adults you spend time with your child.
Step 3. Seek advice
If your child's problems seem beyond your control, seek advice from an expert such as a pediatrician or tutor.
