Being able to know other people's feelings and thoughts is an important skill that can enable you to navigate interpersonal relationships. Despite their differences, in basic terms, all humans are the same. Here's how to get started with translating the signs that other people put out.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Knowing the Basics
Step 1. Get to know the person
In order to really read other people, you must know the person well. By getting to know the person personally, you will know what he likes and dislikes, what his habits are, and what gestures or words are signs of him.
- For example, you may have a friend who is often restless. If that's the case, then every time he's nervous doesn't mean he's nervous or lying. If you meet him on the street, he will always feel restless. It's a habit.
- Pay attention to the habits of others. Does he always maintain eye contact? Does his voice change when he's nervous? When he was busy, how did he tell him? This will be the key for you to be able to read them.
Step 2. Ask
When you read other people, you will see and listen. What it sometimes does is take control of the conversation and steer it in the direction you want it to go. So ask questions and dig him. Then, listen to what he says and the way he says it.
It's best to ask short, to the point, and to the point. If you just ask “how is your family?” You'll probably only get rambling answers that don't matter. If you ask "what book are you reading right now?" You may be able to collect some personal information
Step 3. Notice the unusual in his actions and words
If you know the person well enough, pay attention to anything you find unusual. But remember, one action of one person does not mean it has the same meaning if it is done by another person.
If something is out of the ordinary, you should be curious, at least initially. Maybe he's just tired, or he's been in a fight, his boss scolded him, or he's having some hidden personal problems. Don't make assumptions about the signs if you don't know the details
Step 4. Conclude from more marks
Seeing one sign will not lead you to an accurate conclusion. After all, maybe he was nervous when he sat down, for example, because the chair he was using was not comfortable. If you rely on non-verbal cues, make sure you get three or four before starting to make assumptions.
Look for cues from his speech, tone of voice, body movements, and facial expressions. Once you've got your mark on it all, you can probably guess. But of course, to make sure your guess is right or not you can directly ask
Step 5. Know your own weaknesses
As an ordinary human being, you are not free from mistakes. Sometimes you have certain theories and beliefs even though they are not always true. Not always people in suits are successful entrepreneurs or employees.
Humans generally interpret a dangerous person as a drunken person walking around the street with a knife. In fact, there are also many criminals who are quite handsome and able to socialize. While this isn't something you can control, it's enough to always know that your subconscious is always making you judge things from the surface, even if it's not always something that is accurate
Part 2 of 4: Paying Attention to Body Language
Step 1. Pay attention to his body movements
Body wetness can tell you how someone is feeling at that moment, especially how comfortable they are feeling at that moment. This comfort may be a sign of how he feels about the topic being discussed or perhaps an interpersonal problem. Here are some general guidelines regarding a person's comfort level.
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Positive or comfortable body language:
- Lean forward
- Eye contact
- A smile that is not forced
- His limbs look relaxed
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Negative or uncomfortable body language:
- His body tends to move away from you
- Folding legs and/or arms
- The limbs are not calm. For example, his finger often knocks on the table.
- Looking the other way when talking
Step 2. Look at his face
You should pay attention to the expression on his face. Watch the person closely to see if there are any slight movements in his mouth that can give you a clue as to what he's feeling at that moment. For example, he smiles at you but his lips twitch slightly. It probably means he is thinking something negative.
- If he looks tense, even if only for a moment, that could be a sign. Wrinkled eyebrows and a tense chin are one of the signs that the person is restless.
- If his eyes are closed longer than a normal person should blink, he may be trying to understand the situation at hand. This is usually a sign that the person is a little out of control, be it about himself or the situation he is in.
Step 3. See if he touches you
For example, if the person usually hugs you when they meet you but doesn't this time, they may be being a little hostile towards you. Also, pay attention to other things, such as a weak handshake, which could mean nervousness or insecurity.
Assessing touch is something difficult. Everyone has their own habits and beliefs about physical interactions. If someone touches you often, it doesn't mean you are very close to them. Maybe he does touch people a lot. If you're curious about his physical interactions with you, keep an eye on his physical interactions with other people or when you're not alone with him to find out
Step 4. Watch your distance from each other
How close or how far the person is from you can also tell you what's on their mind. For example, if he's physically distancing himself from you, he may not want to interact too intimately. Or maybe he was in a hurry. But, again, you have to look at other signs from him to be sure.
Some people tend to be uncomfortable when they are at a certain distance from other people regardless of the situation. So just because someone keeps their distance doesn't mean it's definitive proof of something. The same is true for the opposite. There may be a person who doesn't understand the concept of personal space, so he's very attached to you but he doesn't know that you don't like it
Step 5. Consider cultural factors for body language
A person's cultural background will affect their body language, facial expressions, and proximity to you. Keep this in mind when trying to read someone. Do not let you draw the wrong conclusions about someone just because you are narrow-minded.
Part 3 of 4: Translating Vocal Signs
Step 1. Listen to the tone of the voice
A person's voice can provide a lot of information about how he or she is feeling. Listen and observe the tone of his voice or tone that is inconsistent. Does he often sound angry or happy? Maybe he was trying to hide something.
- Pay attention to the volume. Is the sound louder or weaker than usual?
- See if his tone doesn't really convey the emotions he's feeling at the time. For example, does he sound sarcastic or angry? Maybe he feels the need to speak up passively. If that's the case, it's a good idea to make him more open and willing to speak the truth.
Step 2. Pay attention to the length and pitch of the answer
Answering a question with a truncated, short answer can indicate that he is frustrated or busy, while a long answer can mean that he is interested and happy with the topic of the conversation.
Step 3. Pay attention to the choice of words he uses
When someone says something, there is always a process that goes on before saying it. If he says "you're dating the doctor again?" and you have previously dated a doctor (and broke up), the meaning of the word “again” could mean “you used to date a doctor, and it failed. Now you want to date the doctor again?”
Any simple word can have meaning. A “no” answer to a yes or no question may signal a slight conflict in the person's views. Even your friend saying "bro" can be a sign of solidarity and that he or she has accepted you as a friend. So, start by examining the words other people use as an indicator of how the other person is feeling
Part 4 of 4: Reading Others in Other Contexts
Step 1. Know the signs in a romantic context
On a date, you want to make sure that your date likes you too. Again, gather some signs before drawing conclusions. Many people (especially men) mistakenly assume that their date is very interested, when he is just trying to be friendly as he should be. So, be careful when watching for signs from him.
- Pay attention to body language. Is the body leaning forward? Is the body relaxed? If so, it's a sign that he's comfortable and interested in you.
- On a date, try to see how often he talks and how interested and involved he is in the conversation. If he's interested in the conversation, he'll lean forward, nod when you talk, and ask questions.
- Notice how often he smiles. If he seems tense and doesn't smile the whole time you're on a date, it probably means he's uncomfortable.
- At the end of the date, see how he interacts with you. Here you have to pay attention to physical or tactile interactions. Does he hug or kiss you? Or is he still keeping his distance? This will give you information on how he feels about you.
Step 2. Know how to conduct a job interview
A job interview is one of those interactions that makes a lot of people very nervous and it's hard to measure success. If the interviewer displays positive body language, it could mean you had a successful interview. But it can also be considered that both parties are on a good note, so the signs you see may not be valid in the long run.
- But again, you still have to make sure the interviewer is showing positive body language such as leaning forward and asking questions to dig you deeper. You want him to show that he is interested in what you have to say.
- If the interviewer is seen flipping through papers or looking at his computer or cell phone, it may mean he has lost interest. Try to win her attention back if she seems impatient or bored.
- When you're done and about to leave, watch how he says goodbye to you. Does he shake hands firmly and put on a genuine smile? If so, it could be a sign that your interview went well.
Step 3. Detect liars
One of the most common reasons why you want to be able to read other people is so you can tell if they are lying. When you're watching someone to find out if he's lying, pay attention to the body language that correlates with nervousness. Once more: clusters.
- See if his voice changes, or if he suddenly changes his body language. For example, if your partner is always touching and hugging you, but suddenly stops doing it when you ask something, then he may be lying with his answer.
- Don't immediately think of people who look the other way and don't make eye contact as liars, because researchers say that eye contact has nothing to do with lying.
- Notice if he stops using the words “I”, “I”, or something like that. Research shows that sometimes when people want to distance themselves from a lie, they will avoid using the first pronoun and prefer to refer to themselves in the third person context.
- Notice if the words are too elaborate and detailed. Sometimes when a person lies, he or she has thought of all the scenarios of the story beforehand. If that's the case, pay attention to stories that seem far-fetched or overly polished.
- They often twitch and move. This was a clear sign that he was nervous. If he keeps moving, moving his feet, or biting a pencil, it could be a sign that he's lying.
- Look at his eyes. If his pupils dilate when he says something, it could be a lie. Because of that poker players are often seen wearing sunglasses.
Tips
- Remember that everyone's standard body language is different. Some people may find it more comfortable to fold their arms, which is not a sign that they are uncomfortable or keeping their distance from you.
- If you want to learn how to recognize the telltale signs of a lie, watch a child lie. Children will show signs that you can see clearly so that later you can see these signs in adults more easily.
- Don't jump too far from body language and other signs. If you want to know, ask the person directly.
