Good grandmothers know how to make their grandchildren feel special while teaching them a thing or two about the world around them. He can also assume a different role from the grandson's parent and not overstep the bounds. The trick to being a good grandmother lies in bonding with your grandchildren while developing a relationship that continues to grow in affection, joy, warmth, care, and love.
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Part 1 of 3: Spending Time with Your Grandchildren
Step 1. Make a solid plan
It will be very helpful for you to plan what you will do together when they come. If you want to do activities outside, even before the grandchildren arrive, you need to prepare certain clothes, ask for financial help if necessary. It's also a good idea to check opening hours, event times, and transportation schedules to make sure everything is in order. However, when you make plans for the day, take time to rest and set aside time to resume normal activities. Don't let your grandchildren get tired.
Try doing activities that they would not normally do with their parents. Take them to a side of town they've never seen, or teach them something their parents don't know, whether it's painting with watercolors or making jewelry. This will make your togetherness even more special and memorable
Step 2. No plans
That's right - sometimes don't make plans. Let your grandchildren see the activities you normally do around the house and learn by observing. Often they will be quite interested in helping, while having a pleasant conversation with you. Cherish moments like these because this is where the core of the intergenerational bond lies. They may be interested in seeing you cook, help out in the park, walk the dog with you, or even watch your favorite television show.
- Your grandchildren are used to life in their family. They will be interested in the way you run the household. You don't have to put too much effort into creating a great day for them; such a day will happen naturally.
- It's also a good idea to set up a substitute activity, such as watching a movie or baking pies, in case your grandson is feeling restless and is desperate for an activity.
Step 3. Teach them about the world around them
Pass on your experiences through stories about the things you did and saw. Don't be afraid to share the "weird things" in the past. It may sound strange to their ears right now, but someday they will see your past as special as theirs, and in some small ways, they will understand you and humanity better through the stories you tell life as you go. mature. You are the best record of what ever happened, so don't be afraid to tell them.
- Tell them about your life and experiences and how it affected your perspective. Tell them how much the world has changed since you were raised, what you do for a living, and what important skills they need to be successful in life.
- Pass on the life lessons you've learned, from how to experience a happy marriage to managing your home. You don't have to share all this information in one go. Your grandson might not want to listen. Instead, pass on this information bit by bit, and make sure they remember this information.
- Ask them to ask questions about your life or your past that still intrigue them. It's best to have a two-way conversation.
Step 4. Tell us your family history
Even though your grandchildren may not be very interested in the details of family history when they are young, you still need to share your family history so that they have a stronger understanding of who they are. Have them sit down and open a photo album and show them who is in the lineage. Don't just point to them, but bring them to life by telling anecdotes and memorable stories about everyone in your family, so that your grandchildren will feel familiar with them even though they've been away for a long time.
- You can also go one step further and write it down. Leave a family note that your grandchildren can always cherish.
- Keep in mind once again, some young children are sometimes impatient or not interested in family history. You can try slipping this information into conversations and daily activities so that they can get to know the real bits and pieces, digesting it one by one.
Step 5. Ask your grandson to teach you something
Your relationship with your grandchildren should not be one-way. Times change quickly, and one thing you can do to make your grandson feel special is ask him to teach you what's going on, from the latest trends in music, Facebook, or Twitter. If you're tech savvy, ask your grandkids to talk about fashion or things they talk about with their current friends. Show genuine interest in their world and they will open up to you.
- People love being teachers, and your grandchildren will enjoy traveling with you even more if they realize they have important knowledge to share with you.
- Thank them for teaching you something. Show that you appreciate their help.
Step 6. Be present at their most important moments
One thing you can do is make sure you are present at important moments in your grandson's life, from birthdays to school graduation. While you may not be able to be present all the time, especially if you live far away, if you can, it's best to make time to be present at their most important times. Your grandchildren will remember important moments in their lives, and it is important for them to remember your presence at those times.
Your grandson expects love and support from you, not criticism. Give love and support on their special days, and show them how proud you are of them, even if you do things differently
Step 7. Don't forget to take some time for yourself
You need to remember this even before your grandson is born. You don't have to be present as a caregiver all the time. You also need to set boundaries from the start. Explain that you love your children and grandchildren and that there are many opportunities to visit, but also explain that you don't want your grandchildren to continue to live with you or be left with you too often. This way, you can truly enjoy being with your grandchildren, instead of feeling irritated or exhausted.
- Don't assume that you will continue to be a nanny and a helper who is always on hand when your grandson is born. You can spend some time having fun with them, but make plans to help and not just "ask."
- If you don't feel pressured to work with your grandchildren, your relationship will be much stronger.
Part 2 of 3: Taking Care of Your Grandchildren
Step 1. Pay more attention to them
You shouldn't spoil the kids. You can't just happen to teach them that extravagance is good, when you never will, can you? Teach them good values, such as being grateful, respectful, patient and don't overcrowd them with "things." Instead, shower them with praise. Pay attention to all the good things they do and praise them openly if you see them doing good. Give them leeway; It's a good idea to not be too restrained when your children are with you. After all, they had parents who could reprimand them at any time. Whenever you see them, hug them tight, let them know that you love them, and that they are safe with you.
- While you may occasionally criticize their bad behavior while you're around, it's best to focus on being a source of joy and positivity. They've been living with one or both of their parents who taught them the difference between good and bad, and even if you don't want to go against their ideas, you shouldn't be too harsh either.
- Of course, don't let your grandchildren apply completely different rules while you're present. They can be confused as to which is the "right" rule. But you should be gentle with your grandchildren and focus on complimenting them and telling them that they are special.
Step 2. Remember the birthday
On their birthday, buy them a gift that shows you care, but don't overdo it. Sometimes fulfill their request; other times give a small surprise in the form of a gift they did not expect. Most importantly, be present on their important day and let them know how much you love them. In addition to giving gifts, write cards to say they mean a lot to you.
Make sure you contact their parents before giving your grandchild a gift. Don't let your gift distract them from the gift their parents gave them, or be too similar to a gift from their parents. It can actually make the birthday party so awkward
Step 3. Express your affection
Another way to show your love for your grandchildren is to shower them with affection. Hug and kiss them, cuddle them, play with their hair, or give them a reassuring touch to show them you care. When you sit next to them, pat their knees or hands, or sit close to them to show that you love them. As they get older, they probably won't really like that kind of affectionate attention, but you should really show them that you really do love them.
Be a source of love and warmth to your grandchildren, so they know they can come to you when they need comfort
Step 4. Listen to your grandchildren
Take the time to listen to what they have to say, and listen to every word without interrupting. Don't distract yourself and take the time to listen to them, instead telling them to talk while you cook or tend the garden. Make eye contact and show concern without giving advice before they ask. Most importantly, do not judge them and take their words seriously.
- Sometimes, your grandchildren will tell you something they didn't even tell their parents. Support them as much as possible, but say that maybe their parents need to know some of what they're thinking.
- Show affection when they talk to you. Embrace or touch their knees to soothe them.
Step 5. Pamper your grandchildren a little
You were once a parent and have tried to discipline your children. Now you can relax a bit and focus on having fun with your grandchildren. While there are some rules to follow, especially if your grandchildren are staying with you for a certain amount of time, such as during the summer holidays, you should treat them, make them special, and even allow them to eat more biscuits occasionally. Let them come to you out of love, not to be pushed around.
Of course, you shouldn't pamper them to the point of upsetting their parents because you're giving them too much leeway. Try to make grandchildren and their parents happy
Part 3 of 3: Respecting Your Grandchildren's Parents
Step 1. Don't give advice unless asked
Even if you've successfully raised 15 children and think you know everything about parenting, it's best to keep your mouth shut unless you're asked to give advice. Your child and their partner may have different ideas about child rearing, and they don't want to hear everything you have to say about it. Of course, they'll ask for your input, but don't assume that you need to tell them everything from changing diapers to how to teach their child to be a responsible adult.
If you give your parents too much advice, they will withdraw from you, creating a strained relationship between you and your grandchildren
Step 2. Accept your role in your grandson's life
In order to be a successful grandmother, you need to accept the fact that in the child's life, you are the grandmother, not the parent. Your role is to spend time with your grandchildren, give advice, and help their parents when needed for a new family member. The sooner you accept that you are not a mother to your grandchildren, the sooner you can enjoy your unique relationship.
You should not focus on disciplining your grandson and teaching him to be an adult. You should focus more on providing love, care, and support
Step 3. Mind your own life
You may think about giving up everything once your grandson arrives, but it's best to take care of your own life while helping your granddaughter's parents as much as possible. If you want to be a successful grandma, you need to stay in touch with your own friends, maintain social commitments, and do your hobbies. If you give up everything in order to continue to be with your grandson, you are putting too much pressure on the parents.
Make an effort to fit the time you spend with your grandchildren and your schedule, without having to keep your schedule completely fixated on your grandchildren and their parents' wishes. Of course, there will be times when they need help at critical times, but it's best not to intentionally waste time anticipating the unexpected
Step 4. Help your grandson's parents with household matters
One thing you can definitely do when there's an addition to your family, or even when your grandchildren grow up, is to help out with the household chores while you can. You can do the dishes, buy groceries, cook occasionally, or give mom or dad a small favor when you have time. While you don't have to be a housekeeper when they have small children, helping with the little things if you have time can make a big difference.
This is especially helpful when your grandson is just born and the parents are so overwhelmed with their parenting duties
Step 5. Give your grandchild's parents time to strengthen their relationship
Every now and then your granddaughter's parents will really need some alone time. While you are attending family activities, celebrations, or taking part in family trips you can help, you can also take time to accompany your grandchildren so their parents have a chance to be alone or to relax for a while without being burdened with responsibilities. This can relieve stress and maintain the bond between the parents.
