In modern society, pretending not to care about anything is often considered cool - what other people think, what's going on in society, and even how one's own life will unfold. But when you don't care, you miss a lot. Caring for loved ones, values you believe in and what happens in the future can make life happier and much more meaningful. Whether you've forgotten how to care or want to care more deeply, this article will help you figure out what's important to you and practice expressing those feelings.
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Part 1 of 3: Knowing What You Care
Step 1. Make a list of things you are interested in
It's probably been so long since you've really cared about something that it feels like you've lost your ability. But no matter how deeply buried your caring feelings are, they are somewhere, and now is the time to find them. Caring means "to feel concerned or interested; to put meaning on something," to "feel affection or like." Based on that definition, who and what do you care about? List anything that causes you to feel interested, concerned, or attached to something.
- Write down the names of the people you feel attached to – your parents, siblings, friends, and other people with whom you are attracted. If you think about that person a lot, and miss their absence, chances are you care about them.
- In equal measure, write down things other than people you care about. Don't write down the things you should care about, only the things you really care about. Maybe your life is better because you play soccer, or you can't imagine a world without Warcraft. Maybe you care about poetry, or you like a certain movie star. There's no limit to how long the list can be – write them all down, big and small.
- Be honest with yourself when making your list, and leave nothing out. Maybe you're conditioned to act like you're "above all," or are hiding something that motivates you. People will try to tell you what you should care about and what you shouldn't, but you must learn to ignore them for your own happiness. And in most cases, sticking to your beliefs and expressing that you care will ultimately result in people admiring you.
Step 2. See how you spend your free time
Still not sure what's important to you? Look at what you do when all obligations have been fulfilled. When homework is done, working hours are over and household chores are done, what do you usually do? The way you spend your free time can tell enough. You might use that time to do something you care about.
- Do you spend your free time calling someone for a long chat, texting with friends, or writing comments on Facebook? It can show that you care about social connections, stay engaged, and strengthen relationships.
- Maybe you spend your free time working on art – writing, music, painting, or whatever moves you. Or maybe you spend that time running, lifting weights, gardening, or cooking. If it's something you do on your own, you probably care.
- What you read or watch can also help determine your interests. For example, if you read the world's news every day, chances are you care about what's going on outside your local neighborhood. Even the television shows you watch can show you what you care about. Look for a general theme or genre that interests you.
Step 3. Pay attention to what you think when you fall asleep
Throughout the day you may have to talk about subjects you don't really care about. Between small talk, trying to impress people, and discussing subjects related to work or school, you may be confused about what really moves you. If that's the case, pay attention to your thoughts just as you're about to fall asleep at night. During this private and uninterrupted time, your concerns may come to the fore.
- Who do you think about the most when you fall asleep? It doesn't matter whether thinking about them makes you feel good or bad, the fact that they are on your mind means that you care about them.
- Do you have any thoughts about what you are looking forward to, or what you are not looking forward to the next day?
- Sometimes caring takes the form of worry. If you notice that right before bed you worry about how you will present your presentation tomorrow, you may be worried because you care so much about it.
Step 4. See what drives your interest
What situations, ideas, stories, or concepts elicited a strong reaction from you? What makes you want to learn more, speak up, or help? Paying attention to the things that drive you to be more devoted can help you understand your capacity to care.
- For example, maybe seeing your little sister being teased gives you the urge to step up and protect her.
- Or maybe you learn that a city river is polluted, and you feel moved to participate in a river cleanup or find other ways to stop pollution in your area.
- Less serious service is also considered caring. Maybe you've watched a singularly hilarious comedy and then been sucked into a series of various Youtube videos to watch all the comedies the comedian has ever recorded, or you read the story about a cat who saved its owner from a fire and clicked on some other article on the subject.
Step 5. Find out what strikes your heart
When you care about something, you have an emotional response to it. It makes you feel happy, excited, nervous, guilty, scared, sad, or something else entirely. Maybe you're the type of person who has very subtle emotions, or maybe your emotions are big and exaggerated. Either way, it's like a sign pointing to what you care about.
Depression has been described as feeling like you don't feel anything or care about anything – you're empty. If this is how you feel, and you're stuck in a state of not feeling or caring, seek treatment for depression. With proper care, you will be able to experience emotions and care once again
Part 2 of 3: Learning How to Care More Deeply
Step 1. Allow yourself to be more influenced
Engage with the world and let it have an impact on you rather than putting it all aside or being dismissive. When you acknowledge that something is important, you pave the way for caring about it more deeply. Of course, it might be cooler to act like you don't care. But when you ignore how much something means to you, you miss the opportunity to gain wisdom from the situation.
Sometimes this means you have to be outside the norm. For example, perhaps a group of people in an English class never finish their assigned reading. They think spending time reading novels is ridiculous, and they sit at the back of the class chatting and texting instead of paying attention to the lesson. If you care about good grades, and see the benefits of studying literature, you should be brave enough to do your homework and pay attention to the lesson, even if it doesn't earn you a grade in the eyes of your classmates
Step 2. Don't be too dismissive
Are you very sarcastic? Is your innate response to new things learned usually dismissive or cynical? You are not alone. but think about the interesting people you know – confident people who know their purpose in life. Maybe they all have something in common, which is being genuine and positive when it comes to discussing what they care about. Instead of trying to hide their interest behind a veil of sarcasm, they are likely to show what motivates them.
- Don't be afraid to try something new. Instead of immediately dismissing what is new to you, give him a chance to stir you up.
- Instead of acting like you don't care about something, try to proudly say what moves you. Make what you care about as something to show off, not something to hide.
Step 3. Feel the emotion instead of trying to run away from it
Caring doesn't always feel good. In fact, caring can feel really bad, like when it comes in the form of guilt or sadness. But allowing yourself to feel it more deeply – even when the emotion is painful – is caring. In return, you will have a better relationship and be more involved with the world around you.
For example, it may be tempting to ignore the sad feelings you have about a grandmother who is in a nursing home and who is very happy when you come to visit her. But when you allow yourself to care, when you have the courage to face your sadness and go visit it, you will not regret the decision to follow your heart
Step 4. Try to strengthen relationships with other people
Some of the most important concerns may relate to the people in your life. Caring for the other person is what moves the relationship forward and makes it happy. Sometimes just spending time with people close to you can affect how much you care for them. The better you know them, the more you will care about them.
In love relationships, people often hold back emotionally because they are afraid of getting hurt. No one wants to be in a position of caring more than the other party. Caring requires courage. Caring requires you to give, even if you're not sure what you'll get in return
Step 5. Spend time with people who care
You can learn a lot about caring by spending time with people who care. Surround yourself with people who care and love to help, rather than people who are emotionless or selfish. Pay attention to how caring people interact with others and how they approach new situations, and imitate their behavior. Once you start caring, you'll find that it feels more natural.
Part 3 of 3: Showing You Care
Step 1. Keep doing it even if you don't really feel it
If you really never train, you may have to fake it until you get used to it. Sometimes being caring will put you in the right situation to develop feelings about something until you actually start to care. This doesn't mean you have to pretend you care about something just because someone else cares, or pretend you care about something that is unbearable to you. But in some situations, you can practice caring in the hopes that you'll start to feel something fairly quickly.
- Practicing caring can put you in close proximity to something or someone that under normal circumstances you wouldn't have had a good chance of knowing. For example, maybe you didn't feel anything very strong about your next door neighbor, but you shoveled his driveway when it snowed, just to be nice. After a while, a polite conversation between the two of you, sparked by your kindness, can lead to a caring relationship.
- Practicing caring can also help you learn more about something that makes you care. You may think you don't care about biology, but you did your best in class and got good grades. After studying hard and engaging in class discussions, you may find that the subject is actually of interest to you.
Step 2. Join instead of just standing on the sidelines
It's really hard to start caring about something when you're watching and not participating. Every chance you get to try something new or get more involved, try to respond with "yes" answers more often than "no." You never know where that positive attitude will take you. You may discover hidden talents and interests that you never knew existed.
Step 3. Take care of yourself
If you have poor self-esteem, you may have to embark on a mission to care more about yourself first. Caring for yourself means treating yourself with kindness and concern at the end of your story.
- Apply daily self-care to keep your body in good physical and mental health. Do something every day to help you feel less stressed and more confident. Many people think that simple things like eating a healthy diet, exercising and treating themselves every few times can make their life more positive overall.
- Set a goal and follow it. Part of taking care of yourself means caring about what happens in the future.
Step 4. Know when to withdraw
It is possible that you open your heart too much and find that you are being drowned in, abused, or manipulated. Sometimes we feel suffering and want to help others without considering ourselves. It's important to know when to step back a bit. If you find that you're devoting your time and energy to something you care about, with very little left for yourself and other important things, it might be a good idea to just devote a little time to that particular obsession.
