How does it feel to accept the rejection of love from someone who has been your best friend for years? Sad, of course. Disappointed, perhaps, mainly because you heard the rejection not from a stranger, but from one of the closest people. Fortunately, there are always new lessons you can apply to accept rejection gracefully and move on with life better afterward. Since rejection of love can hurt your ego, start the healing process by addressing your feelings and improving your self-esteem. After that, feel free to try to improve your friendship with the person who rejected you, if you wish.
Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Feelings After Accepting Rejection
Step 1. Take a moment to pause before reacting negatively
If you really want to maintain a friendly relationship with the person, try not to act emotionally. Accepting rejection can make you angry, embarrassed, or hurt. However, try not to react impulsively and take the frustration out on your friend.
Before saying anything to him, take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down. Don't rush into making decisions, and give your body and mind time to calm down
Step 2. Create some distance from the person
Constantly being around him after confessing his love and being rejected is not easy. Therefore, tell him that you need time and distance to deal with the feelings that arise. If there's something you need to discuss with him, do it once your mind is clear again. For now, there's no need to force yourself to stay close to her and pretend to be okay.
Try saying, “I need some time to digest your response. Of course I still want to see you, but can you give me a few days to cool off?”
Step 3. Take good care of yourself to treat your broken heart
Generally, the second natural reaction that comes after rejection is to feel defeated. To combat it, try to pour out as much love and affection as possible on yourself. Treat yourself well, as you would treat a friend who has the flu. Eat a delicious lunch or dinner, watch your favorite television show, work out at the gym, and do anything else that can improve your mood.
As great as the temptation is to consume harmful substances, such as alcohol and drugs, don't do it! Besides being dangerous, it won't make you feel any better. Instead, focus on taking care of yourself by eating a healthy, balanced diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep
Step 4. Record your feelings in a journal
Doing so is the perfect way to let go of all your frustration, sadness, and disappointment after receiving a rejection. If you want, you can also describe a specific moment, the response your friend gave, and how you felt after hearing the response. Trust me, journaling is actually the perfect method for identifying your emotions and finding ways to deal with them.
Step 5. Hold on to people you can trust
Share your feelings with those closest to you who can be trusted to keep the information and not share it with the rest of the city. They may also be able to offer helpful advice, even calming you down after receiving a rejection.
To them, you can say, “Ugh, I'm so embarrassed. Yesterday I confessed my feelings to Greg, but he said he only saw me as a friend. I don't know what to do now."
Step 6. Change your view of rejection
Another way to deal with rejection is to change your perspective. For example, if previously the rejection was interpreted as the result of something wrong with you, try changing that view with a more realistic alternative.
- For example, view the rejection as an attempt to maintain your status as a friend. This means that he doesn't want to lose you as a friend if in the end, your relationship doesn't work out.
- Also believe that the rejection is because out there, there are other people who are actually more suitable for you, and you just need to be patient to find them.
- Remember, it takes tremendous courage to express your feelings, and you should be proud that you dared to do so!
Method 2 of 3: Improving Self-Esteem
Step 1. Write down all your positive qualities
Since rejection, especially from those closest to you, can immediately rob you of your confidence, try to find a way to remember all the good things you have. Sit down and write down your features as a human being. Do not be shy! After all, the list will not be seen by others.
- Some examples of positive self qualities are “good listener,” “artistic,” and “kind.”
- If you're having trouble finding positive qualities about yourself, try asking your parents or friends for advice. These people may be able to see qualities in yourself that you have not been able to see.
Step 2. Get out of your comfort zone
Heal a wounded ego by doing things you've never done before! After all, trying new things can also open your eyes to various hidden abilities and talents, you know. There's no need to go to extremes. Instead, slightly shift your hobbies and/or daily routine.
For example, you can register for dance lessons, or simply plan an agenda for traveling to the next city
Step 3. Focus on positive thinking
It's normal to have negative thoughts after receiving a rejection. However, try not to let these negative thoughts dominate your mind. The trick, increase your positive thinking! If necessary, say positive self-affirmations throughout the day. Having trouble finding positive self-affirmations? Please look for examples on the internet.
- Some examples of positive self-affirmations are “I can do a lot of things,” “People like to be around me,” or “I'm a fun person!”
- Every morning after waking up, repeat the affirmation. Throughout the day, you can also repeat it whenever your self-confidence starts to wane.
Step 4. Spend time with people who value you
In fact, the best way to heal a wounded ego is to spend time with people who love and respect you. Therefore, try to take the time to simply eat or play games with your closest relatives and friends.
Step 5. Consider the possibility of dating other people casually
While you shouldn't hang your happiness on someone else's shoulders, finding diversion and trying to make new connections can be a pretty powerful way to restore your confidence after a rejection. However, always remember that the relationship is not to be taken seriously, especially since your healing process isn't quite over yet. So just divert your mind by dating someone casually, if you want.
- How to? Easy, really. Just walk up to the girl you're interested in at the coffee shop and ask her to meet you, or be brave enough to accept an invitation to a movie at the cinema from someone who has asked her out many times.
- From the start, let him know that you're trying to get over someone and don't want to be in a serious relationship with anyone yet. Have fun with him and let your relationship flow naturally.
Method 3 of 3: Saving Friendships
Step 1. Discuss the direction of your friendship
Once you've gathered your courage, invite him to meet to discuss the direction of your relationship. If the ambiguity is ignored, surely your friendship relationship will suffer afterwards. Therefore, dare yourself to bring up even the most taboo topic, and invite him to find a solution together.
- You could say something like, “Actually, I want us to be friends, but you don't seem comfortable with that option. What do you think we should do after this?”
- Listen to the response. Understand his feelings and thoughts before asking him to find a solution to relieve the awkwardness or tension that characterizes your relationship.
Step 2. Respect the boundaries
If the friendship between the two of you is successfully re-established, chances are that your love will come back to the surface. If that happens, don't try to change her mind, or try to convince her to date you. Remember, he has made clear his refusal, and that decision you should respect!
In fact, you have the right to determine the direction of the relationship. If it turns out that your feelings for him don't go away, feel free to leave the friendship
Step 3. Realize that the situation in your friendship may change
For example, your friend may start to feel uncomfortable traveling with you. On the other hand, you may also feel embarrassed after hearing his refusal, so you also feel uncomfortable traveling with him. In the end, no matter how hard you try to save the relationship, you're more likely to spend less time together.
- Accept the fact that there will always be changes in the nuances of friendships that are colored by love. Therefore, try to be generous if in the end, one of the parties asks for or implies a desire to keep some distance.
- Most likely, the friendship between the two of you will not really be able to recover until both parties find a serious partner. Therefore, be prepared to deal with changes in the nuances of the relationship in the near future until the situation between the two of you begins to improve.