Regarding optimism, there is a question that people often ask. This question is about the amount of water in the glass: is the glass half full or half empty? Well, your answer to this question can tell you a lot about how you view life, your attitude towards yourself, and whether you are an optimist or a pessimist. Your answers can even affect your health. Each of us will surely experience the bitters and sweets of life; an optimistic outlook can improve your quality of life and your physical and mental health. Optimism is also an important component in dealing with stress. Of course, having an optimistic attitude doesn't mean you ignore life's difficult or challenging problems. Being optimistic means changing the way you view these problems. If you've been a pessimist so far, it may be difficult to change your perspective, but with a little patience and awareness, all that is beautiful in your life can come to light.
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Part 1 of 2: Learn to Make Peace with Your Own Feelings
Step 1. Be aware of the bitter and sweet things in your life, and notice how they affect you
Being optimistic doesn't mean you have to be "happy" about everything. In fact, if you force yourself to feel happy during times that may be traumatic, your health can be compromised. Instead, be aware of all the feelings that arise in your life. Accept these feelings, both negative and positive, as a natural part of being human. If you try to curb certain feelings, your soul will fall apart. By not focusing on one emotion, you can become a more adaptive and proactive person when dealing with unexpected situations that may come your way in the future. By doing so, you will increase your optimism and resilience in the face of uncertainty.
- Over time, feeling negative can become an unconscious habit. Avoid blaming yourself for negative feelings and associations within you. You won't grow if you keep blaming yourself; You will only look to the past, to what has already happened and cannot be changed back.
- Be aware of how you feel when these negative feelings arise. You can write down your feelings in a journal. Write down when you feel or think negatively, then pay attention to the background of the emergence of these negative feelings or thoughts. Then think of other ways to deal with that background.
- For example, imagine that someone is overtaking your car. You get angry, honk, and even yell at the driver even though he can't hear you. Write in your journal about this incident, about how you felt, and how you responded to it. Don't judge yourself, don't say whether you think your response is "right" or "wrong." Just write down what happened.
- Then, stop. Think about what you have written. Is your response in line with what you expected and the type of person you want to be? If not, what can you change? Think about it: really, what are you actually responding to? Maybe you're actually not really mad at that annoying driver. It could be that today you have a lot of stress, and your pressure explodes on that person.
- When writing, think about the future. Don't use this journal as just a place to share negative feelings. Also think about what you can learn from the experiences you write about. Is there anything you can use for self-improvement? Can you use this experience to understand other experiences? Next time, in a similar situation, is there a better and more ideal attitude you could take? For example, by realizing that you are angry because of a stressful day, you will realize that everyone can make mistakes. By realizing this, you will feel more sympathetic when others scold you. If you know how you want to respond to negative situations, you will have no trouble.
Step 2. Practice self-awareness
Self-awareness is an important part of optimism. With self-awareness, you will be more focused on paying attention to your feelings than judging them. Negative reactions often arise when we try to deny our own feelings. Negative reactions can also arise when we allow ourselves to be so blinded by our feelings that we forget that we are actually able to control those feelings. Make peace with yourself. The trick, focus on your breathing, accept your body and soul, and study your emotions, don't be rejected. Peace of mind is important when dealing with negative feelings.
- In various studies, self-awareness meditation has been shown to help you escape from feelings of anxiety and depression. This meditation can even change the way your body reacts to stress.
- Look for self-awareness meditation classes in your area. You can also take guided meditation online, for example from the University of California's Center for Self-Awareness Research or BuddhaNet. (And of course, there are guides on WikiHow too.)
- You don't have to spend a lot of time meditating. With just a few minutes a day, you will be more aware and at peace with your feelings.
Step 3. Determine whether your inner voice is optimistic or pessimistic
Our inner voice can show how we naturally interpret life: negative or positive. In one day, pay attention to your inner voice. Find out if the following forms of negative conscience occur frequently:
- Emphasize the negative aspects of a situation, and ignore the positive aspects.
- Automatically blame yourself for every negative situation or event.
- Waiting for the negative in every situation. For example, early in the morning at a cafe, your coffee order goes wrong and you immediately think that today things will continue to be bad.
- You see things only from two sides: good and bad. This is known as polarization. In your opinion, there is no middle ground.
Step 4. Focus on the positives in your life
You need to change the direction of your inner voice to focus on the positive aspects of yourself and the world around you. Although positive thinking is only one step on the journey to becoming an optimistic person, positive thinking can have a significant impact on your body and soul. As:
- Higher life expectancy
- Lower depression rate
- Lower stress levels
- Higher immunity
- Better physical and mental health
- Lower risk of dying from a heart attack
- Better resilience when facing tough and stressful times
Step 5. Remember that optimism is of two kinds:
real optimism and blind optimism. A person with blind optimism believes that nothing bad will happen. The person will become overconfident and naive, and may end up in disappointment or even danger. On the other hand, people with real optimism don't ignore challenges. Nor does it pretend that negative feelings and experiences don't exist. This person will face those challenges, and say, "I can do it!"
- Blind (and dangerous) optimism for example is skydiving with no practice at all, just believing that "everything will be okay". Of course, this feeling is unrealistic and ignores the fact that a person will still need to work on the problem. Decisions like this can put you at risk.
- On the other hand, a real optimist will acknowledge the fact that skydiving is a complicated sport that requires a lot of practice and care. A person with this personality will not be disappointed when faced with the hard work required. Instead, he will create a goal ("capable of parachuting") and start working. He will be confident that the goal he can achieve.
Step 6. Every day, write down a positive affirmation for yourself
This will make it easier for you to believe in your action potentials. Write down some affirmations that can remind you of what you would like to change about the way you view the world. Place them in locations that you will see every day, such as on the bathroom mirror, in your closet, on your computer, or even on the bathroom wall. Examples of positive affirmations you can write:
- "Anything is possible."
- "Circumstances don't affect me, I influence things."
- "The only thing I can control is my attitude."
- "I always have a choice."
Step 7. Avoid comparing yourself to others
It's easy to get jealous, and this will lead to negative thoughts ("They have more money than I do."; "He can run faster than I can."). Remember that there are always people who are worse off than us. Avoid negative comparisons with others. Focus on the positive. Some research suggests that grumbling behavior may be related to depression and anxiety.
- Remember to be grateful. With gratitude, you will be able to break out of the cycle of negative comparisons. Write thank you letters to the people in your life, or tell them straight away. By focusing on these positive elements in your life, your mood and health will improve dramatically.
- Keep a gratitude journal. Research shows that people who write down a few lines each week of things that happened recently that they are grateful for tend to feel more optimistic and better in general.
Step 8. Improve your perspective in one or two aspects of life
Pessimism often stems from feelings of helplessness. Determine one or two aspects of life that you would like to change in your life, and work towards changes in both aspects. This will increase confidence in your strengths and ability to make changes in your daily life.
- Think of yourself as the "cause" and not the "result." Optimistic people will tend to believe that negative events or experiences can be overcome with their own efforts and abilities.
- Start small. Don't assume that you can change everything at once.
- Positive thinking can lead you to positive results. Research has shown that basketball players who are taught to attribute positive outcomes (for example, successful shooting from a distance) to their skills, and negative outcomes to their laziness, can improve their skills.
Step 9. Smile as often as possible
Research shows that smiling can make you feel happier and more optimistic about the present and the future.
In one study, people who were asked to bite a pen in their mouth (thus causing facial muscle movements similar to a smile) were more amused by the cartoons they saw, even though they were not aware that smiling alone caused their reactions to improve. By changing your facial muscles to reflect positive emotions, you send the same emotional messages to your brain, and make you feel better
Part 2 of 2: Increase Your Optimism
Step 1. Become aware of your relationship with the world around you
Optimism isn't just something that comes from inside your brain and radiates outward; optimism exists between you and the world you live in. Pay attention to the things around you that you don't really like, then try to change those things.
- Try to change the world for the better with concrete steps, one at a time. For example, you can follow a justice movement or a political movement that is important to you.
- Of course you have to remember that in this world there are various cultures, and yours is only one of them. Don't think that your culture or way of life is the best or the only one. You will see the beauty and positive aspects of things by accepting that there are many different types of cultures and people in the world, and by helping others in ways they like.
- On a small scale, even changing the position of concrete things like furniture can help you get rid of outdated and useless behavior patterns. Research shows that it's easier to break a habit by changing routines, because new areas of the brain are activated.
- You need to do this while learning to make peace with yourself. You can't imagine things you've never felt before. Instead of trying to deal with your every feeling as a result of living the same habits every day, it's better to experiment in every interaction while improving the environment in which you and the other person live together.
- Create goals and expectations about your future from interactions with the people around you. That way, you won't create unrealistic expectations for yourself and others.
Step 2. Think about what your life would be like without the positives
This exercise was designed by researchers at the University of Berkeley. They recommend that you practice 15 minutes each week. You can build optimism by thinking about how your life would be different without something you love or be grateful for. You will fight the natural tendency to assume that the good things in your life are things that "just exist." You can cultivate a positive attitude of gratitude by remembering that we are lucky for every positive thing that can get out of hand but still happen.
- Start by emphasizing one positive event in your life, such as an achievement, a journey, or anything else that is meaningful to you.
- Remember this event, and remember the background of this event.
- Consider how this event could have happened differently. For example, you may not have learned the language that got you on that journey. You might as well not read the newspaper on the day of the job announcement that you now enjoy.
- Write down all the things and decisions that might have happened differently and ended up not making this positive.
- Imagine what your life would be like if this didn't happen. Imagine what your life would be missing if you didn't have all the other positives that event has built up.
- Go back and remember that it really happened. Remember the positive things it brings to your life. Give thanks for these things. Realize that these things don't have to happen, but do happen, until you can finally enjoy the pleasures that are now.
Step 3. Look for the positive side of things
The natural human tendency is to focus on what is wrong in our lives, and not on what is right. Counter this tendency by examining a negative event and looking for its "positive side". Research has shown that the ability to resist these tendencies is an important component of optimism. This ability will also help you deal with stress, depression, and your relationships with other people. Try to do this ten minutes every day for three weeks, and you will be surprised at the change in optimism that will occur in your life.
- Start by listing five things that make you feel that your life is good today.
- Then, think of a time when something didn't go as expected or caused you pain or frustration. Briefly write down the situation.
- Look for three things about the situation that will help you see the "positive side" of it.
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For example, maybe you've had a car problem that caused you to be late for work, because you had to catch a bus. This situation is not pleasant. However, there are some things that you can consider as "positives".
- You meet new people on the bus that you've never noticed before
- You take the bus, which is cheaper than taking a taxi
- Your car can still be repaired
- Small things are okay, the important thing is there are three. This will train you to change your interpretation and response to events.
Step 4. Make time for activities that make you laugh or smile
Allow yourself to laugh. The world is full of humor, so immerse yourself in it! Watch TV comedies, join stand-up comedy shows, buy comedy books. Everyone has a different style of humor, but focus on the things that make you laugh. Make sure you laugh at least once every day. Remember, laughter is a natural stress reliever.
Step 5. Live a healthy lifestyle
Optimism and positive thinking are closely related to exercise and physical health. Exercise has also been proven to be a natural mood booster as a result of the endorphins your body releases when you exercise.
- Do physical activity at least three times a week. This physical activity does not have to be in the gym. Just take your dog for a walk. In the office, use the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Any physical movement can help improve your mood.
- Cut down on substances that can alter mood, such as drugs or alcohol. Research shows that there is a connection between pessimism and drug and alcohol use.
Step 6. Surround yourself with family and friends you are comfortable with
For example, play costumes with your child or go to a concert with your little sister. Spending time with other people can reduce feelings of loneliness and loneliness. Both of these feelings can make you feel pessimistic and skeptical.
- Make sure the people in your life are positive and supportive people. Not everyone you meet in your life will have the same life orientation and expectations as you, and that's certainly okay. However, if another person's attitudes and behavior negatively affect your own, you should consider staying away from that person. Human feelings can be contagious. Negative people can increase your stress level and make you doubt your own ability to deal with stress in healthy ways.
- Don't be afraid to play with your relationships. You never know when someone (even if that person is very different from you) will bring you something of value. Think of this process as a chemistry game. You need to find the right combination of people to cultivate an optimistic outlook on life to the future.
- Changing mood doesn't mean changing personality. Being an optimist doesn't mean being an extrovert. You don't have to be an extrovert to be an optimist. On the contrary, if you try to be someone you are not, you will feel empty and sad. Not optimistic.
Step 7. Always be positive in your actions towards others
Optimism can be contagious. By showing a positive attitude and compassion in your relationships with other people, you will get positive feedback as well, and create a "wave effect" that invites other people to be positive towards more people as well. This is why volunteer work is often said to significantly improve your mood. From small actions, such as buying coffee for others, to large ones, such as helping earthquake victims in other countries, if your actions towards others are positive, you will spread optimism even more widely.
- Volunteering can improve your feelings of self-confidence and self-worth. These two feelings can help eliminate feelings of pessimism and helplessness.
- Helping others can make you feel better about your contribution to the world. Especially if the contribution you make is done in person, not anonymously or via the internet.
- While volunteering, you will find new friends and acquaintances. You will be surrounded by positive people who can increase your optimism.
- Good or bad smiling at people you don't know depends on the culture. For example, in America, people take this as a sign that you are friendly; on the other hand, Russians will suspect you. Smile at other people in public, but you have to remember that they may have a different tradition than yours. Don't be upset if they don't smile back, or even seem annoyed.
Step 8. Remember that optimism is a cycle
The more positive your thoughts and actions are, the easier it will be to maintain your optimism.
Tips
- At some point, everyone will feel weak. You can still fall into your old habits, but then you will remember the feelings of optimism you once had. Remind yourself that positive feelings are so easy to come by. You are not alone. Build your support network so you can get back to positive thinking quickly.
- Smile in the mirror. According to facial recognition theory, by smiling you will feel happy and think positively.
- Count the good and the bad in a situation, and focus on the good.
