Getting your ex to fall in love with you again may seem impossible, but it can actually be done. First of all, you have to think about what's keeping your relationship with him or her from working, then figure out how to show the best version of yourself. You should also talk to your ex about how you feel and what you want at some point.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Preparing Your Ex-Girlfriend To Fall In Love With You Again
Step 1. Keep your distance
When you're thinking about whether you want to get back together with him or not, don't call him just yet. This is important so that you can manage your feelings, process the breakup, and prepare yourself to let it go. Even if you decide you want to get back together, you'll still need time for yourself and he will too.
Don't send or respond to text messages to/from your ex until you feel you've had/had enough time to process your breakup. It may be difficult, but you need to do it
Step 2. Find out if your ex is in a relationship with someone else
Before deciding to get back into a relationship with your ex, it's best to make sure he's not in a relationship with someone else. If you broke up long enough, your ex may already have a new relationship with someone else. In this case, it would be best if you also try to build relationships with other people.
Don't try to reconnect with your ex if he or she is dating someone else. Pursue your own interests, meet other people, and be patient
Step 3. Consider why you want to get back with your ex
While being in touch may be a good thing, sometimes it's much better to let your relationship end or let it go. Before you start trying to get your ex back, consider why you want him back.
- Some good reasons to reconnect with your ex are: the timing wasn't right when you were with him, you need more time to get over your previous relationship, or you've come to appreciate everything about him or her more.
- Some of the wrong reasons behind wanting to reconnect with your ex: fear of being alone/lonely (of course you'll feel lonely after a failed relationship, but that doesn't mean you should jump right back into a relationship); you miss something familiar (again, this feeling is fine, but that doesn't mean you should get back together with your ex); You're jealous of their new relationship (and again, this feeling is perfectly natural, but not a good basis for a new relationship attempt).
- You should ask a trusted friend, family member, or relationship therapist to help you consider the reasons for wanting to reconnect with your ex. They will help you get rid of the excuses that are not right and may help you move on with your life.
Step 4. Determine if your relationship is healthy and worth fighting for again
If you broke up because the relationship was bad for one or both of you, you might need a little time to consider whether the relationship is worth fighting for again.
For example, if the two of you are always fighting and don't enjoy the time you spend together, the relationship may not be worth fighting for
Step 5. Make a list of pros and cons if you are not so sure
If you have mixed feelings about why you want to get back together and if your relationship is worth fighting for, try making a pros and cons list to help you make a decision. Be honest with yourself when making this list and don't overlook anything just because it's small or trivial. Write down everything you can to get a detailed picture of your relationship and make a decision.
Part 2 of 3: Making Your Ex Fall In Love With You Again
Step 1. Focus on yourself
Even if you're 100% sure you want to get back together with your ex, you should take a few moments to focus on yourself. Use the extra time you have to improve yourself. If you do this, it may become easier to get back into a relationship with your ex. Some things you can do to focus on yourself are:
- Looking for a new hobby
- Improve your health by joining new sports activities and starting a certain diet lifestyle
- Start writing a diary to record your thoughts and feelings
- Spend more time with your friends
Step 2. Be casual
You don't have to look depressed if you want to get your ex back. Therefore, you shouldn't let him know right away that you're interested in getting back together with him. Doing so can frighten your ex and destroy your chances of rekindling your relationship.
Take a lot of time before calling your ex back. If you happen to run into him, act normal. Don't tell him you're interested in getting back together
Step 3. Rebuild your relationship with him
Send him a short message to reconnect with him. Text messaging is the ideal way because it's not as formal as a telephone or an electronic message. Short messages are also less widely disseminated or discussed. So, this way is more privacy when you communicate with him.
- Let the short messages contain light and casual conversation. Don't write something serious like, "I can't live without you." Tell your ex about a funny thing that happened to you or an interesting event that reminds you of him.
- Make sure you're sober when you get back in touch with your ex. Text messages or calls when drunk can cause problems.
Step 4. Meet for coffee or lunch
The best time to get back together with your ex is during the day. Meetings during the day look more relaxed than at night. Ask if he'd like to meet you over coffee or lunch. This will give you the opportunity to start a conversation, have a chat, and decide whether or not to continue reconciling with your ex.
- Don't say anything about getting back into the relationship during your first meeting. Relax and have a casual conversation. Forget all about getting back into a relationship, at least for now.
- Make sure that you look amazing the first time you see him again. Looking your best will increase your self-confidence and possibly increase your ex's desire to date you again.
Step 5. Remind your ex of good memories
Talking about good memories is a good way to rekindle the long-dead fire of love. By reminding your ex of the happy times together, you can help them see the bright side of your relationship and feel more open to getting back together.
Remember that you should also talk about the bad parts of your relationship, but talk about the good times first
Step 6. Make the most of your best assets
Since you're trying to make him fall in love with you again, you should first consider the things that interest him. Besides, you have to find a way to show it. For example, if your ex becomes attracted to you because of your sense of humor, find ways to make him laugh. Or, if your ex has always admired your cooking skills, share something you recently cooked. Speak casually.
Step 7. Be patient
While it may be difficult, you need to be very patient when starting the first conversation with your ex again. If he doesn't respond to your first text message, don't keep sending text messages that force him to reply. Wait and see if he responds to your text messages. If not, try again a few days later.
Step 8. Watch for signs of interest
If your ex doesn't respond to any text messages from you and/or sounds cold when you talk to him, it can be assumed that getting back in touch with him isn't the right move at this point. However, if your ex sounds warm, kind, and happy to hear from you, chances are there's still a chance.
Make sure you don't get your hopes up even if the signs are positive. These signs may simply be that your ex is being nice
Part 3 of 3: Talking About the Possibility of Getting Back Together
Step 1. Say what's on your mind
At some point, you will have to tell your ex about how you feel and what you want to do about him. This conversation may feel awkward, but if your ex hasn't mentioned the possibility of getting back together, you should. Make sure that you show a willingness to put in the effort and have a desire to get back together.
Try saying something like, “Since we've been apart for a while, I've really grown up thinking that I'd like to give our relationship another try. Are you also thinking the same thing?”
Step 2. Be prepared to talk about what went wrong when you were together
You and your ex will definitely discuss the main reasons for breaking up in the first place. Your ex may be skeptical about your progress or willingness to change. So you may have to convince him. You have to be ready to talk about what you have done or will do to make sure this relationship doesn't fail over the same mistakes a second time.
Step 3. Commit to change
If you say you will do certain things to change yourself in some way, be prepared to actually do the things you promised. If you don't really do it, your relationship will end again. Make sure that both you and him are clear on what each side is trying to do, and that you will do your part.
Step 4. Anticipate rejection that may arise from him
In some cases, reconciliation is completely impossible. If your ex doesn't want to try to get back into a relationship with you, respect him for his honesty and don't force or bother him to get back together with you. It's possible that you both need more time or that your relationship is no longer worth fighting for.
Tips
If you're feeling too pushy, it probably is. Take it easy first and relax
Warning
- One thing to keep in mind when trying to get back together with your ex–if this doesn't work or if your ex doesn't want you anymore, don't force it–remember that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you, and there's no need to follow someone who doesn't want you!
- Don't try to change yourself for the sake of others.
