If you and your spouse are considering divorce, all courts require a valid reason to be granted. Infidelity is generally a valid reason in the eyes of the court. If you want to file infidelity as a reason for divorce, you will need to prove the claim in court. To do so, you must know what is required by law, what evidence to seek and defend, and how to present that evidence in court.
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Part 1 of 4: Hiring a Lawyer
Step 1. Decide if having a lawyer is the right choice for you
Hiring a lawyer to help you prove your affair in court can be useful for a number of reasons, but it can also be a burden. Consider the following factors in determining whether hiring a lawyer is the right choice for you:
- The presence of a lawyer can be useless if your partner has publicly admitted that he or she is having an affair. In these circumstances, an attorney can only hinder your ability to speak honestly and openly with your partner about any issues that need to be resolved. You should also be aware that in the absence of a lawyer, it is your responsibility to submit evidence of your spouse's cheating behavior to court.
- If you don't have direct evidence of your spouse's infidelity and if you need help drafting and filing legal documents, you should consider hiring a lawyer. If your spouse denies your allegations, there may be disputes during the divorce process over children, property, and/or finances. If this sounds like the divorce proceedings you may be going through, an attorney can help you develop legal arguments to ensure you receive the fairest possible distribution of assets. Lawyers can also help when you don't have the time or skills needed to produce compelling evidence.
Step 2. Find out the options of possible attorney candidates
If you decide to hire a lawyer, start looking at the available candidates. Follow these steps to choose the right attorney.
- First, start by asking friends, family and coworkers for recommendations. Recommendations can be a great way to find a qualified attorney as long as you trust the opinion of the person making the recommendation. If your friends don't know any family law attorneys, look them up online using a directory website like telephone.info/lawyers/. This website is great for finding qualified lawyer candidates.
- Second, after getting the list of candidates, you need to contact and schedule an initial consultation with them. This consultation will help you get an idea of the attorney by meeting them in person and having the opportunity to ask questions about themselves or your case.
Step 3. Choose the right lawyer for you
After speaking with some of the top shortlisted candidates, you will need to get back in touch with whoever you want to inquire more deeply into. Once this process is complete, choose the attorney you feel most comfortable working with. Look for a lawyer with reasonable fees, a good work history in family law cases, and a good reputation for honesty and integrity.
If from searching and discussion, you find that attorney fees are too expensive, you can try to find a lawyer who will take the case on a pro bono (unpaid work) basis. Try contacting a local or local legal association for help finding a free attorney
Part 2 of 4: Proving the Affair
Step 1. Find out why you want to prove cheating
Infidelity is usually a legal basis for divorce. Therefore, if you believe that your partner has cheated on you and you want a divorce, you may need to prove infidelity to complete the legal process. Also, in many areas, if you file a divorce without fault (which means neither party is responsible for the divorce), you will need to wait up to a year before you can file for divorce papers. However, if you are filing for a wrongful divorce, which includes a divorce based on infidelity, you can file it immediately.
Step 2. Understand the consequences of having an affair
If your spouse is cheating on you and you can prove it in court during the divorce proceedings, some states will use that information when deciding on issues regarding property rights and the division of property. In some areas, proving that your partner is having an affair will actually limit him/her from getting wife/husband benefits.
Step 3. Know what you need to prove
Proof of infidelity is often difficult to obtain given the nature of the conduct (ie people usually don't cheat openly). Infidelity also doesn't mean your partner has sex, but it can also mean sexually intimate behavior. Because of this, most courts do not require evidence of the act of infidelity. In contrast, most courts require you to prove that:
- First, your partner has the disposition to commit an affair. Disposition is a tendency to perform certain actions. In this state, the disposition is a tendency to commit acts of infidelity.
- Second, your partner has the opportunity to have an affair. The opportunity to have an affair shows that your partner has the time and ability to commit adultery in certain situations.
Step 4. Use direct evidence
If you have direct evidence, which can be in the form of witnesses or photos of the act of infidelity, you will be able to prove the affair. However, direct evidence is usually hard to come by because cheating partners are often secretive and secretly cheated on them.
In Indonesia, the courts acknowledge this difficulty so that in the absence of direct evidence, presumptive evidence can be used to substantiate the allegations
Step 5. Use circumstantial evidence
In all likelihood, you will need to prove infidelity using circumstantial evidence, which means you will have to use certain pieces of evidence to make an implication. Indirect evidence You must prove that:
- Your partner has the opportunity to commit an extramarital affair, for example being alone with someone else; and
- Your partner has the disposition to commit infidelity, which means, judging by the circumstances, an affair may have occurred.
Step 6. Think of another plausible explanation
After arriving in court, if your spouse has a convincing explanation for your alleged infidelity-related actions, the court may not be on your side. Therefore, before filing for divorce on the grounds of infidelity, make sure your partner has no other plausible explanation for what you believe is infidelity.
Step 7. Be careful not to allow the act of infidelity
If you do something that would be considered infidelity-permitting behavior, the courts may not allow you to file infidelity as a legal basis for divorce. In addition, if you and your partner reconcile after you become aware of the cheating act, you may not be able to file it as a legal basis for divorce.
Justification and/or reconciliation can include getting back together with your partner or writing an apology letter
Part 3 of 4: Gathering Evidence
Step 1. Look for letters, SMS, and emails
Letters, texts, and emails can be great ways to prove that your partner has a tendency to cheat. These things must contain information about the acts of infidelity committed by your partner. For example, texting could discuss times when your partner was with someone else and a letter from someone could say that he or she loves your partner and is enjoying the time they spent together. The letters will usually be romantic.
Step 2. Try to find evidence from online dating sites
If there is evidence that your partner has signed up for an online dating site such as Tinder, match.com, or another similar online resource, you must retain the evidence and present it to the court in a timely manner.
Step 3. Hire a private investigator
If you can't find evidence on your own but you think your partner may be cheating on you, you can hire a private investigator to collect evidence for you.
Private investigators will seek to obtain photographs and other evidence of the affair
Step 4. Ask friends and family for information
In many situations of infidelity, friends and family will know better than you. If you think something suspicious is going on, ask your friends and family. Realize that even if friends and family know something is going on, they may not have any evidence to back up their claim. While the information can still be useful, it would be better if there was evidence to substantiate their claims.
Step 5. Seek acknowledgment from your partner
If your partner admits to having an affair or cheating, you can use that confession to help prove your case. Ideally, this acknowledgment should be in writing or in an email, so you'll have tangible evidence of the conversation.
Step 6. Note the subpoena
If you're already going through divorce proceedings, you may be able to ask for bank records, online history, hotel records, and other records that could prove infidelity. You cannot subpoena records against a divorced party so you should try to subpoena records directly from the bank or hotel.
Part 4 of 4: Presenting Evidence in Court
Step 1. Know the yardstick of evidence
While in court, you will need to prove the affair with "preponderance of the evidence." In general, this means that you have to convince the judge that there is a greater likelihood of the affair happening (eg 51%).
Step 2. Understand that your spouse does not need to testify
In court, your spouse has the right not to incriminate himself, which means he may not need to be a witness in court. The courts will also not consider it bad behavior if your spouse decides not to testify. Therefore, don't rely on potential testimony from your partner to prove infidelity.
Step 3. Ask people to be witnesses in court
If you've got help from friends, family, or private investigators, you'll need them to testify in public court. When this happens, they must testify to what they saw for themselves so as to make them believe that the affair took place.
Step 4. Submit notes as evidence
In addition to asking people to testify, you can also submit tapes as evidence. To do so, you need to follow the evidence rules in your area. If the piece of evidence is acceptable, you will be able to present it to the judge and use it as evidence of infidelity.
