Husband betraying marriage is one of the painful experiences experienced. Although it is difficult to think clearly in a time of trial like this, you must think carefully and prepare to be able to properly confront your husband.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Prepare for Confrontation
Step 1. Hide your suspicions until you are sure
Don't confront your husband until you're absolutely sure he's having an affair. There are several reasons for this:
- If you are wrong and accuse him of having an affair, your marriage may be damaged.
- If you're right but aren't sure, he can lie and deny that he did.
Step 2. Look for evidence
Before confronting your husband, you need to be sure he is having an affair. Try to obtain evidence without violating his privacy too much. Keep an eye on so you can get information.
- For example, if he's checking his phone in front of you, try to see if he's texting a girl or not. Find out if the message sent is flirty or inappropriate.
- Try to find out if there is a different smell of perfume on his body when he comes home or not.
- See if he communicates openly in front of you or if he goes to a hidden place in the house to call or text.
- Continue to pay attention to the story he tells and try to see if there is something inconsistent or not. If a person is lying, he has to try very hard to remember the lie and he can make the mistake of repeating the story about where he went. Write down what he said to him so you can be sure you weren't wrong when you think your husband changed his story.
Step 3. Review your evidence
Before confronting your husband, double check the evidence that has been obtained and make sure that this evidence is sufficient to prevent your husband from having an affair.
- Based on the evidence you have, think about what your husband would say to convince you that he is not cheating on you.
- For example, if you find several emails about him drinking with a coworker and the emails seem flirtatious but you're not sure if he's having an affair, think about whether this and other evidence you've got is sufficient or whether you should wait longer to find more evidence. strong.
Step 4. Find social support
You've had an unpleasant time even though you just suspected that your husband was having an affair. Defuse these negative feelings by talking to a trusted friend about your suspicions before you confront your husband.
Your friend can provide moral support to help you deal with stress and maybe he or she can guide you too
Step 5. Make sure you know what you want if it turns out he's having an affair
Before confronting your husband, think about your plans if your husband confesses. This will help you stay focused and can continue to talk about the issue instead of getting too emotional. Ask yourself if you want:
- marriage ended?
- marriage fixed?
Step 6. Do not use alcohol or drugs
While this may seem like a good time to "run away," it's a good idea to be in a clear mental state when confronting your husband.
If you confront him in a drunken state, you may end up being rude and unable to remember the details of your conversation afterwards. Alcohol and drugs are often encountered in cases of domestic violence
Method 2 of 2: Getting Husband to Participate in Conversation
Step 1. Try to stay calm
It's easier said than done, but try your best to prevent things from getting worse. Neither of you is thinking straight and this could be an opportunity for the husband to slam the door and leave. If you give him a chance to escape the conversation, he can have time to think of a convincing lie. Therefore, try to remain calm during the conversation.
- For example, you might say, "Actually, it's hard for me to say this. But I was really worried after seeing some of your behavior that seemed to me like you were having an affair. I really wanted to talk to you about this."
- If you find yourself getting emotional, try to take a few deep breaths and release them.
- Try to remind yourself that even if the pain is unbearable right now, over time, all emotional pain will heal.
Step 2. Don't make him blame you
If he's trying to shift the focus of the conversation to you, such as saying you're crazy or violating his privacy, try to calmly say that his behavior is really making you anxious and this conversation is about whether or not he's having an affair.
Try to be as rational and logical as possible and state repeatedly that his behavior makes you anxious and that you feel it is appropriate to investigate the extent of his illicit relationship
Step 3. Ask him why he's having an affair
Try to understand why he cheated on you. Usually there is a reason behind it. This will help you decide if you want to try to mend this relationship or if it's time to let it go.
Try to find out if he really looks honest. Use your instincts. If it seems like he's only saying what you want to hear, be careful
Step 4. Review what you want
However, before starting this conversation, you should more or less know whether you want to end the relationship or want to fix it if he admits to having an affair. After the conversation, rethink what you want based on the information you gleaned from this conversation.
For example, if he admits to being addicted to sex and provides convincing evidence and he really wants to improve the relationship, it could be that you change your mind and try to improve the relationship
Step 5. If you have children, think about your children
Make sure you confront your husband when the kids aren't around. If you do it in front of them, they can be traumatized by this emotional experience.
If you're having trouble finding time away from the kids, try taking your husband out for dinner. However, instead of actually eating instead, find a quiet seat where you can sit down and talk about the matter
Step 6. See a couples counselor
If you're having trouble discussing the affair with your husband, or if you're looking to improve your relationship, try seeing a marriage therapist who can help you deal with the problem.
