Social skills should be honed from an early age, as they can help your child in personal relationships and careers later in life when he grows up. There are many things you can do to help your child develop social skills. First, explain manners and virtues, then find activities that help improve social skills, such as group activities or sports. If needed, seek professional help when you feel your child is not developing social skills.
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Method 1 of 4: Explaining the Basics of Social Relations
Step 1. Describe personal space
One of the basic social skills that must be mastered is the understanding of personal space. Children may not know that everyone has a personal space that must be respected.
- Explain to children that personal space varies from person to person and from culture to culture. People who are close to the child, such as family, may be more receptive to hugs and touches than strangers. People with other cultures may have different personal spaces.
- Teach your child to read body language, for example when someone looks tense, crosses their arms, or backs away, all three are signs that the child has violated that person's personal space.
- You should also teach your children that they too have their own personal space. Do not hold the child without his permission, or hug the child when he does not want to be hugged. Let children know that they have power over their own bodies.
- Teach your child to ask permission before hugging someone else, sitting on someone else's lap, and so on.
Step 2. Teach your child empathy, which is another basic social skill
Children's perspectives are very limited, and they may have a hard time imagining being in someone else's shoes. Conala strives to teach children empathy.
- Encourage children to use imagination. Let them imagine themselves in various situations, and find learning opportunities in everyday life. For example, if your child tells you his friend was being bullied at school, invite him to imagine what if he was the one being bullied.
- When watching TV or movies, ask your child how the characters in the movies they watched felt about your child, and why they felt that way. Invite them to imagine themselves in the character's shoes, and ask them to think about what it would be like if they were in the same situation.
Step 3. Help the child understand how to speak
The basics of speaking are an important part of social skills. Children usually do not know how to speak politely, and may interrupt or ignore what others have to say. Therefore, teach them how to speak.
- Teach children how to enter a conversation. Explain basic greetings. Have your child greet others with a greeting such as "Hi!" and "How are you?". Teach your child to read nonverbal cues, such as a wave, a smile, a nod, and a handshake.
- Explain why children have to wait their turn to speak. Tell them that waiting for the other person to finish speaking before starting is very important. In addition, also teach children to listen. Explain that in a conversation, the child should respond to what the other person is saying, instead of constantly talking about himself.
- Teach children to be assertive when talking to others, and the difference between "assertive" and "aggressive". Assertive means having the courage to make requests honestly and on target. People who communicate assertively do not use threats, insults, or excuses to ask.
Step 4. Teach your child basic manners
Generally, children don't understand basic manners, so you have to teach them. Teach your child the importance of saying please, thank you, excuse me, and other common manners. Make rules in your home so that children get used to saying thank you and asking for help, so that children can behave well.
Step 5. Discuss ways to communicate wants and needs with the child
Children may say offensive things when they share their wants and needs. For example, when the younger sibling doesn't get a turn to play a game from his older sibling, he may call the older sibling a bad guy. He may mean to say that he doesn't like being ignored. Teach children how to properly convey their wants and needs.
- Teach your child when he makes a mistake. When your younger sibling is sulking because his older sibling "mastered" one of his toys, jump into the conversation, and say "Son, that means you want to play too. Come on, join your brother."
- Teach your child to clearly state what makes him uncomfortable. Preschoolers may kick and hit when insulted, so teach them to express their feelings. Teach him to say "I don't like being teased, please!" when he was insulted.
- Ask children to pause and think when they are upset. If your child doesn't know what he wants, ask questions to let him know what he wants, such as "Why did that make you angry? Why did you do that?"
Method 2 of 4: Doing Activities to Improve Social Skills
Step 1. Read books to children
Reading fiction has been shown to increase empathy in both children and adults. Choose quality stories over popular stories, because the characters in popular stories are generally underdeveloped. Classic stories like The Little Prince and Charlotte's Web can help children develop empathy, so they can learn social skills better in the future.
Step 2. Be a role model
One good way to teach children manners is to be a role model for children. Be polite when interacting with other people. If you are taking your child shopping, have a polite chat with the cashier. When you pick up your child from school, be polite to parents, teachers, and school officials. Children imitate their parents, and will imitate your good habits.
Step 3. Play an emotional skit
Emotional skits are games designed to teach children to read nonverbal social cues. To play it, write down various emotions on a piece of paper, for example sad, happy, scared, etc. Then, place the paper in a specific container. Take the paper in turns, then imitate the emotions on the paper to teach children to recognize other people's expressions when they feel those emotions.
You can also play drawing games. Invite the child to draw a person or animal with a certain emotion, then try to guess the emotion in the picture
Step 4. Play games that require a lot of eye contact
Eye contact is also an important social skill. In Western culture, the ability to maintain eye contact indicates that you are paying attention and listening.
- Gazing contests can be a fun way to teach kids about eye contact.
- You can play "Eyes on the forehead". Place the eye sticker on your forehead, then ask the child to stare at the sticker. Even if your child doesn't look you in the eye, at least they know where to look when talking to other people.
- When holding a child, teach the child to look at you.
- Make sure you let your child know that in certain cultures, eye contact is not very welcome, even considered rude.
Method 3 of 4: Supporting Children's Social Life
Step 1. Support your child's friendship
Friendship is very important to develop children's social skills. To help children develop social skills, support their friendships. Let your child's friendship grow and develop.
- Invite your child's friends over to your house. Invite the parents of your child's friends to bring their child to your home.
- Take the child to a place/event that his friend is attending, such as a school event, birthday, or park.
- Help your child deal with the bitterness of friendship. Explain that it's normal to feel angry or fight with a friend. Invite your child to apologize if he hurt his friend's feelings.
Step 2. Invite the children to play group sports
Research has shown that important social skills, such as leadership and empathy, can be learned through group exercise. If your child likes sports, consider placing your child in a specific sports group.
- In addition to having a positive impact on overall social skills, by exercising, children will get used to moving and living a healthy lifestyle. Children who participated in group sports as a child smoked less frequently, and may also have higher self-esteem
- However, keep in mind that not all children like sports. If your child really doesn't like sports, don't force them. There are other out-of-school activities that teach the values of togetherness and teamwork.
Step 3. Invite children to participate in activities outside of school
Extracurricular activities or activities outside of school really help children hone their social skills. Invite your child to join a particular club at their school, or join an organization around the house.
- Follow your child's interests. If your child enjoys writing and the arts, invite your child to be the editor of the school's wall magazine, or enroll them in a class at a local art center.
- Consider enrolling your child in an organization like Scouting. Many children master important skills after joining Scouts or the like.
Method 4 of 4: Seeking Outside Help
Step 1. If your child's social skills aren't developing, see a therapist
Underdeveloped social skills may be a symptom of a mental disorder. If you are concerned about your child's social skills, consult a psychiatrist or child therapist. You can ask your pediatrician for a referral, or find a therapist covered by insurance.
Step 2. Recognize social retardation in children
If your child's social skills don't develop, it can be a yellow light. Various conditions, such as genetic defects or autism, can make your child develop more slowly or irregularly. Seek help from a doctor or psychiatrist if your child has any of the following symptoms:
- When the child is 19-24 months old, the child cannot interact with other people. Your child doesn't smile or react when they look at you. The child may also not play with or recognize pictures of everyday objects. These signs are symptoms of autism.
- If a child has autism, as he gets older, his social skills will develop more slowly or not according to his age. The child may not be able to follow short conversations, follow simple commands, hear fairy tales, make friends, start conversations, or express physical needs. This means that your child may not be able to say "I'm hungry" or "I'm sick."
Step 3. Have regular discussions with your child's teacher, and don't forget to ask about your child's social development
Make sure your child is not bullied or abused at school. Bullying may hinder a child's social development. Having a healthy relationship with your child's teacher can help you prevent problems such as bullying.
