Life moves quickly and sometimes when negative things pile up, you tend to forget about the things that give you and life success. However, there are steps you can take to increase happiness in life. You can change your focus, improve your attitude, and develop your social life to move towards greater life satisfaction.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Changing the Focus in Life
Step 1. Train yourself to be grateful
Sometimes it's easy to forget all the things you already have when you keep wishing (eg wishing for something you don't have). By practicing gratitude, you can change your focus and realize the good things in life so that you have a more positive outlook or attitude towards life.
- try to make a list of things to be grateful for. Start by writing down five things you are grateful for and each day, add five new things to your list.
- You can jot down basic things to a list, such as the availability of shelter, clothing, and food. After that, move on to something specific that happened during the day, such as a refreshing cup of tea, an interesting chat moment with an old friend, or a chance to catch a beautiful sunset.
- You can also read through the entries on your list when you're feeling down to remind yourself of things you can be grateful for.
Step 2. Focus on the things you can control
It will be easy for you to feel overwhelmed by all the problems and fixate on the unexpected. Worrying about things you can't control won't help you because of course you can't do anything about them. This condition only makes you fixated on self-doubt and weakness. Instead, think about things you could change or improve, and focus your energy on changing or improving those aspects.
For example, you have no control over what your coworkers do, but you can control how you perform at work. As another example, you can't control the choices your sibling makes in their love life, but you can still control the choices they make in your own love life
Step 3. Think about your values
Try to emphasize to yourself the things you feel are important in life. These aspects don't necessarily refer to material success, but try to imagine who you want to reflect yourself and the qualities you like or look up to in others. Once you recognize these values, you can think about how to make them a reality.
- One way to clearly identify your values is to identify the people you admire. Ask yourself what you admire about them, and how to become like them.
- You can also make a list of traits or traits that you value in yourself and others, such as loyalty, honesty, creativity, and courage.
Step 4. Don't be "cruel" to yourself
Self-criticism is useful to help you find your weaknesses and provide opportunities to improve them. But, of course, excessive criticism can destroy self-esteem and make you feel even worse. Remember that everyone does not always achieve success all the time and not being successful in achieving high goals or ideals does not necessarily make you a failure.
The best way to view self-criticism is to think of it as an opportunity to improve, and not a moment to look at all the things you don't like about yourself. Specifically, look for aspects of yourself that can be changed so you can improve them, instead of blaming something universal or unchangeable. For example, instead of saying, "I'm not really a smart person!", tell yourself, "Instead of studying, I stay up all night watching television. I have to try even harder.” Sayings like this can motivate yourself to improve on your shortcomings, instead of focusing on failures
Step 5. Avoid negative thoughts
Negative thought patterns are one of the most common aspects of life, but they can also be controlled. Think about your negative views about the outside world, then consciously make a decision or step not to hold those views. There are several types of negative thought patterns that are quite common. These patterns are sometimes referred to as cognitive distortions because they are faulty thinking patterns. Some negative thought patterns that often prevent you from enjoying the positive or feeling the good in life include:
- The all-or-nothing (all-or-nothing) mindset. This mindset makes you see everything as “black and white” and closes your mind off any possible “gray areas” or midpoints. For example, you might think that you should get an A on an exam. If not, you are a failure. Remember that there are always gray areas in this world and just because you can't achieve all your goals doesn't mean you're a failure.
- Habits "turn off" positive things. In a pattern like this, you are trying to find ways to "lower" the success that has been achieved. You will ignore or belittle positive moments with excuses such as, “Oh, that was just luck.” Of course, you'll have a hard time being happy with your life when you can't accept success at all.
- The habit of labeling something. In this pattern, you view failures or problems as "opportunities" to apply general labels to certain things in life. For example, you might refer to yourself as a failure, a loser, a “fool,” or in other generalizing terms. You may make mistakes once in a while. However, the habit of labeling things like that will be tied to your mistakes, not your successes.
Step 6. Make difficult decisions instead of ignoring them
One of the things that keep you from being happy in life are difficult decisions that are left hanging. After all, how “calm” or relieved are you to know that this big thing is still awaiting your decision? Instead of keeping it quiet or "hanging it up" for granted, deal with it from the start. Don't rule out or put off important decisions or steps to take later (especially in uncertain future). Think fast and make big decisions as soon as possible.
For example, if you need to decide whether you want to end your relationship with your lover, take the necessary steps to reach a final decision (eg discuss how you feel with a friend or family member). If you need to choose a college of choice, make a list of pros and cons for each campus, then ask a parent or friend to help you review the options
Part 2 of 3: Changing Attitudes
Step 1. Smile more often
Smiling, even when you're clean, will make you feel better and comfortable with yourself, no matter what you're doing. Your mood will become more positive and you will be able to think better about the situation from a broader perspective. Plus, a smile will make you appear more friendly and confident. Of course, other people want to meet by spending time with such a person.
Remember to smile when you are going to do daily activities, such as when you go to work in the morning, finish work at home, and even relax in the afternoon/evening. You can also set reminders on your phone so you remember to smile more often
Step 2. Take a break
Sometimes it's easy to feel overwhelmed when you focus on what's going on right now and the situation or condition you're supposed to be dealing with (eg work or other responsibilities). The tension you feel when you try to move quickly can trigger stress. Try to take a few minutes each day to stop doing activities and calm yourself down so you can recharge your drained energy. After that, face the problems or challenges that exist with the collected energy.
Activities such as yoga or mindfulness exercises that require you to calm down and focus on what is in the moment are great ways to take a break from the daily grind and stress. These exercises help you rest and find space in your mind to focus on other things. Try taking classes or watching videos online to learn the basics of a regular yoga practice
Step 3. Try pretending to be happy
At first, you may have a hard time appreciating life as it is, especially when you're feeling down. Therefore, pretend to be happy. Show a smile or say something sweet and nice about someone. You will be surprised to realize that these small changes can change your mindset.
For example, if you're having a bad day at work, try to take your mind off yourself by asking how another coworker is doing or complimenting someone. By focusing on others, you can ultimately feel more positive and happier
Step 4. Take care of your body
Your mental health is tied to your physical condition. If you want to have a more positive attitude towards life, make sure you take care of your body so that it stays as healthy as possible. You don't necessarily have to change into a swimsuit model, but at least make sure you take good care of yourself. In addition, when the body starts to fit, you will feel more confident about your appearance and personal health.
- Sport is the right activity to maintain the appearance and fitness of the body. Short exercises (including a daily 10-minute walk) help keep the muscles moving and encourage the brain to produce endorphins, hormones that trigger feelings of happiness. In addition, by exercising, you will look better and you will have more energy.
- Eat healthy and regularly. Good nutrition will give you energy and keep your body fit and well-groomed. Try to eat whole grains, vegetables, and low-fat protein, and avoid sugary snacks and factory-processed foods. You can also control the portion of your meal as the right step to maintain a normal and healthy weight.
- Make sure you get enough sleep. By getting enough sleep, you will still feel energized and positive, and get the energy you need for activities. Sleeping at night in a healthy duration of course provides good benefits. However, you can supplement it with a nap if necessary. Some people need to sleep for 7-8 hours every day to get their body back fresh and fit, but some people can still achieve that condition with a shorter sleep duration.
Part 3 of 3: Talking to Others
Step 1. Spend time with people you care about and love
One of the ways you can feel happy and comfortable with yourself is to interact with people you think are important. Meeting friends and family members you care about (and care about) is a great way to refresh your body and soul, and reminisce about the good times you've had with them.
- When you're feeling insecure or down, call a friend for a chat or ask them to meet at a coffee shop. A good friend can provide support or even just listen to your concerns.
- When you feel down, you may tend to close yourself off. However, keep in mind that this will not have a good impact. Even if it's difficult, try to get up and go somewhere to socialize with other people. This is one of the best steps you can take when you are sad.
Step 2. Thank the people who helped you
When other people contact you and try to provide assistance, make sure you thank them for the help or giving. This could be simple help or the support you need during a difficult time. Thanking you like this is also a great way to remind yourself of the things and the help that other people have given you. In addition, you will also realize that you are someone others want to help.
You don't have to thank only people you know. Appreciating or thanking a stranger for opening or holding the door can give you some happiness. In addition, he will also appreciate your gratitude so that he feels happy too
Step 3. Help others
Volunteering and working with others is a great way to feel happier and proud of yourself. Besides being able to get benefits and happiness when you see other people happy, you can also be proud because you have become a person who is willing and able to help others.
You can volunteer at a soup kitchen or register as a dog sitter at an animal shelter in your city
Step 4. Reduce the use of social media
Websites like Facebook and Twitter are fun, but they can also waste your time and have a negative impact on self-perception. It can be easy for you to be haunted by fears about whether people “liked” your posts. Also, seeing people having fun can actually destroy your self-confidence if you focus on the happiness they are showing in comparison to your current state.
- One thing that can help is deleting some of the “friends” on the internet. If you're currently friends with "fake" people and are negative, they're just messing up your timeline and making you feel down. This is important to note, especially if they are people you rarely or never interact with in person. Focus on the people you care about and love, and can make a difference in your life.
- To use it positively, use social media as a springboard to interact directly with others. Don't just “like” someone's vacation photo. Call your friend and invite him to meet for lunch and chat about his vacation or activities. Meetings like this feel more “authentic” and can build deeper and more meaningful relationships.
Step 5. Try not to take rejection to heart
Sometimes, we don't feel happy with life because someone rejects us or the opinion we put forward. Keep in mind that rejection can occur for a variety of reasons. Rejection is also not a sign that you are bad or worthless. Instead of feeling down, find out what is causing you to experience rejection, and learn from the experience.
- If you experience rejection for professional reasons, try asking why your opinion or proposal is unacceptable. You can get useful advice on these opinions that will help you develop ideas in the future.
- If you're experiencing rejection for personal reasons (eg when asking someone out), take this moment as an opportunity to remind yourself of the positive qualities you have. Don't imagine worst-case scenarios (eg no one wants to date you because you're not good enough). Instead, take this as an opportunity to try again. In the future, you can achieve even greater success.
