Diaper lovers are adults who like to wear diapers, either for medical or other reasons. Diaper lovers may wear them for comfort, sexual pleasure, or because they prefer diapers to conventional underwear. Accepting the fact that you are a diaper lover may not be easy and sometimes even traumatic. However, you can learn to accept yourself and explore your love for diapers.
Part 1 of 3: Accepting Reality as a Diaper Lover
Step 1. Know that you are not alone
You may feel isolated or strange when you realize that you like wearing diapers. However, it's important to know that many people share a love of diapers just like you. So you are not the only person who has these feelings and behaviors. There is nothing "weird" or "abnormal" about you.
You may be surprised to learn that there is a community that brings diaper enthusiasts together. It is possible to meet other people who have the same feelings and behavior as you
Step 2. Learn how you feel
You may feel strange or embarrassed about wearing a diaper and have no idea where this preference comes from. Accept the positive feelings you feel from wearing diapers and the fact that you are a diaper lover, such as fun, excitement, and satisfaction. If you are overcome with guilt, shame, and fear about wearing a diaper, pay attention to these feelings too. It may be easier to ignore these emotions, but you have to embrace them. Instead of worrying about what other people might think if they found out about this condition, you should learn to feel good about yourself and how you feel first.
- Go deep into the feelings you have about these preferences and accept them fully, whether they are positive or negative. Ask yourself how a habit of wearing diapers can contribute to your self-perception and identity.
- Some of the negative feelings that may arise include fear that others will find out, or guilt or shame. You may also be critical of yourself a lot.
- It is important that you first understand your own motivations and feelings, especially if you want others to understand you.
- Journaling is one way to deal with and overcome these feelings. The process of journaling allows you to define your emotions and distance yourself from them. Taking just a few minutes each day to write down your feelings can make your thoughts and feelings clearer.
Step 3. Accept yourself as you are
In order to fully accept yourself, you have to be able to accept the parts of yourself that are difficult to acknowledge. Examine any negative feelings you may have about the fact that you are wearing a diaper and avoid criticizing yourself for that preference. If you're having a hard time getting over your love of diapers, show yourself some compassion.
- When you're dealing with shyness, say something like, "I feel embarrassed because society looks down on adults who wear diapers, but I'm not obligated to live up to social expectations" and "I accept myself as I am."
- Remember, there's nothing wrong with looking for fun and satisfaction by wearing diapers.
- Try to treat yourself as you would a close friend. Show the same care and affection you would show your friends.
Step 4. Learn to deal with guilt and Embarrassed.
You may feel guilty and ashamed of your lifestyle. Guilt is the feeling that comes when you feel that you have done something that violates moral values, or that something is “wrong”. Shame is a feeling of embarrassment, helplessness, which may arise as a result of disapproval from oneself or others. There's no reason to feel guilty or ashamed about liking diapers. If you work through these feelings, you'll feel more accepting of yourself.
- Guilt should be a signal to indicate that you did something wrong or dangerous. For example, if you feel guilty after eating an entire cake, your brain will tell you that this behavior is unhealthy and dangerous. In other words, guilt is a feeling that you have done something bad, while shame is a feeling that you are a bad person. However, experiencing guilt because of who you are as a diaper lover is "unhealthy" guilt because you're not hurting anyone, including yourself. If guilt helps you learn from your mistakes, it means you have to change your mindset and accept this condition as part of who you are.
- One way to heal shyness is to accept the fact that you have no control over other people's feelings and behavior. People have the choice to be open and understanding, judgmental and secretive, and these choices have nothing to do with you. Once you stop worrying about what other people are doing or thinking, the shame will start to lessen.
Step 5. Take action on how you feel
You may associate a love of diapers or behavior that deviates from the "norm" as embarrassing. It can be difficult to shake off the urge to wear a diaper. So stop doing it. Attempts to suppress emotions and needs can cause serious harm. Give yourself the opportunity to feel pleasure and satisfaction when wearing a diaper.
If you're worried that other people will notice you're wearing diapers, try wearing them in private or when you're alone
Step 6. Find friends who share your interests and feelings
There are communities on the internet for diaper lovers and adult “babies.” If you are looking for understanding and friendship with other diaper-loving fellows, join a community that shares the same values.
- If you've been feeling misunderstood or burdened with keeping secrets as a diaper lover, being part of a diaper-loving community can provide immense relief and help you realize that you're not alone.
- Not all diaper lovers want to be part of the community. You are free to decide whether you want to be with someone who also likes diapers or not.
Part 2 of 3: Understanding Diaper Lover Behavior
Step 1. Understand what are the common factors that unite diaper lovers
Many adults who wear diapers and behave like babies say that the desire to adopt this lifestyle begins before adolescence, around age 11 or 12. Cases of diaper lovers are more common in men than women. These behaviors include wearing a diaper, urinating (small or large) in the diaper.
- Most diaper lovers are men, have jobs, and are in their mid-30s.
- Some adults who wear diapers adopt a different gender than assigned at birth or express gender instability.
Step 2. Distinguish between adults who wear diapers and those who behave like babies
Wearing a diaper doesn't automatically mean you want to behave like a baby. Adult babies like to behave or be treated like babies, for example sucking, playing with baby toys, or sleeping in the crib. Some diaper lovers just want to enjoy the sensation of wearing a diaper and maybe wear it discreetly and lead a "normal" life. You may or may not want to behave like a grown baby. You are free to explore and decide what you want.
Some people wear diapers to feel comfortable or as a warm-up before sex. This behavior is not always related to the baby or the baby's lifestyle
Step 3. Accept that wearing diapers may be related to incontinence
You may start to like wearing diapers when you experience an increase in incontinence (uncontrolled urination). Then, you begin to enjoy wearing diapers and explore their role in sexuality and pleasure.
It doesn't matter if you enjoy wearing diapers, whether for incontinence or other reasons
Part 3 of 3: Respecting Privacy
Step 1. Decide if you want to discuss your preference for diapers
You may want to let others know that you wear diapers, or keep them to yourself. It is you who decides whether or not to discuss it with those closest to you. If you're in a romantic relationship, there's nothing wrong with disclosing this information before the relationship progresses to a stage where the topic becomes too embarrassing. You can also tell close friends or family about these preferences or choose to keep them private.
Don't be afraid to build a relationship or tell your partner you're wearing diapers. While some people won't understand it, you may be surprised to learn that many people are willing to accept this kind of behavior and lifestyle
Step 2. Talk to your partner
If wearing diapers has become an integral part of your identity or a routine, it's important to let your partner know about this. Especially if you like to wear diapers during sex. This may be a sensitive subject to talk about, but you have to do it. Don't let it hang if it's something important to you.
- Let your partner know that you want to discuss something that is personal and very important to you. Say, “I think it's important to be honest and tell you who I really am. I'm a diaper lover." Show an open attitude to answer any questions he may have.
- Stimulate your partner's interest. If your partner likes trying new things in sex, say something like, "I know you like trying new things in bed, and this is a new adventure we can all do together."
- Set boundaries that make you and your partner feel comfortable. For example, you might be able to start small and increase the intensity, such as starting with diapers around the house first, then bringing them into more intimate contexts. Use clear communication to make sure you're both comfortable and happy with the boundaries you've set.
Step 3. Be careful with your appearance
Diaper lovers and adult babies are a large group that is still marginal and not "overt". Many people do not understand the feelings and motivations of a diaper lover. You are free to decide whether you want to wear diapers in public or at home. It really depends on your motivation to wear diapers, whether for reasons of convenience or sexual.
- If you want to wear your diaper discreetly in public, wear loose-fitting clothing to hide the thickness of the diaper and try to minimize the noise the diaper wrinkling makes.
- Wearing diapers in bed is a popular choice.
Step 4. Find a diaper hiding place if guests visit
If you prefer to wear your diapers discreetly, plan ahead before having guests at your home. Store diapers in a hidden place where you can't find them. You can store them in your washer/dryer, bedroom, or some secret place in your house that only you know yourself.