Friendly people like to meet new people, easy to meet friends and acquaintances; he's the kind of person who can start a conversation with someone on a plane, while waiting in line at the drugstore, or on the bus. Sounds hard? Actually no. Being friendly is all about making other people feel comfortable around you – as if you genuinely enjoy chatting with them. So how do you make it happen?
Step
Part 1 of 3: Approachable
Step 1. Smile more often
You don't have to give everyone a big grin you meet. However, set a goal to smile 30% more often each day, whether it's smiling at people you know, strangers, or acquaintances you meet on the street, this will make you appear more approachable. Can you remember when you bumped into someone you met last week and he just looked away, pretending he didn't see you? How does it feel? If you want people to feel “good” when they talk to you, then you need to smile at them more often.
You can also set your target to smile more often “during” the conversation
Step 2. Have open body language
If you want to make people feel that you are approachable and open to conversation, then you have to master open body language. Here are things you can do to make people want to chat with you longer:
- Keep your legs together rather than crossed.
- Make sure your posture is straight and not slouching.
- Keep your arms by your side rather than crossing them.
- Lean towards the person you are talking to.
Step 3. Remove any distractions
Another way to be more welcoming or friendly is to pay attention instead of busy finishing Candy Crush on your iPhone. If you're busy alone with your cell phone, instead reading a book, staring at the computer, or even cleaning the polish off your nails, then people will think you have other things to do than talk to them. Instead, look at his face, smile, and be prepared for what the world has to offer. You'll be surprised how many people find you friendly and how quickly they come to you.
It's rude to be busy with your cell phone "especially" when you're actively engaged in a conversation
Step 4. Make eye contact
You should do this whether you're just saying hello when you pass or when you're chatting face-to-face with someone. You don't have to look people in the eye 100% of the time, but you should make frequent eye contact when talking to people so they feel like you care about them and they don't waste your time.
If you're walking down an alley and it's just you and one other person, why not look him in the eye and say hello instead of looking down or pretending to be amazed at your fingernails?
Step 5. It's easy to laugh
The ability to laugh easily is another trait of a friendly person. You don't have to laugh at everything people say or you'll come across as insincere, but you should try to laugh 20% more often, especially when the other person is trying to be funny, saying something funny, or when you feel the other person needs encouragement.. Laughter not only gives a positive vibe to your conversations, but also those around you – even people who just happen to be passing by – will view you as friendly.
Laugh and smile? It's a combination that works
Part 2 of 3: Mastering Friendly Chat
Step 1. Master small talk
Knowing how to start small talk will go a long way in helping you become more friendly. Maybe you've had a hard time starting small talk because you're too busy, distracted, or shy. But it's actually not as difficult as it sounds. All you have to do is make people feel comfortable, then you can start digging deeper and discussing more personal issues.
- Some people think small talk is very shallow, it really isn't. All good friendships and relationships start with a little small talk. You can't jump right into a conversation about the meaning of life with someone you just met.
- You can even start small talk with the cashier. Comment on the weather today, tell her about a delicious salad you bought, or compliment her on the jewelry she's wearing. This will make you feel more positive and make your day feel faster.
Step 2. Ask about them
If you want to be kinder, then you have to show a real interest in the other person. They need to know how much you care about themselves, their thoughts, and their actions. You should ask simple questions that show you care. Don't ask questions that are too personal or they'll be offended; keep a topic the same then once you get to know them better then open a new topic. Here are some good topics to try:
- Pets
- Favorite sports team
- hobby
- Favorite band, book or movie
- You
- Weekend trip
- School or work
Step 3. Praise others
Complimenting people – seriously – will make you look and feel friendlier. Just a few compliments at the right time will make people think, "He's really good!" and will make them feel more comfortable and happy with your presence. There's no need to take everything too seriously, especially at the beginning of an introduction; You can simply say nice things about her jewelry, appearance, hair, or say she has a great sense of humor.
When chatting with someone, ask yourself, what amazing qualities does he or she have that I would like to commend? You have to do it fast
Step 4. Say his name when you talk
This is a simple but effective way of getting people to like and consider you friendly. When you pronounce people's names, you show them that you care about them and you can make them special as a person. No need to overdo it. It's enough to say, "Hi, Ellen!" Saying hello to her, or "You're right about that, Ashely," in the middle of a conversation will make you appear more friendly.
If you meet a new person and they tell you their name, say it once or twice throughout the conversation; this will help you remember the name
Step 5. Recognize when you unconsciously are being unfriendly
Some people are unfriendly without even realizing it. If someone greets you with an enthusiastic “Hi!” and then approaches you slowly, meaning he wants to chat with you; if you just reply "hey," and keep walking, you'll end up looking rude. Maybe you think what you did was neutral or a response because you were busy, but often it is considered unfriendly.
If you don't shut up, smile back at others, and avoid glaring at people you don't know even if they're standing next to you; You will be considered rude without even realizing it
Step 6. Focus on positive topics
When chatting, try to talk about positive things. Instead of complaining about school or work, recounting a bad experience that happened to you, or being negative, you should mention something extraordinary that happened to you that week, something you were looking forward to, or something funny you watched. Conversing on positive topics will make you appear friendlier in everyday conversation; because you'll be seen as a fun, jolly person to talk to.
- You don't have to be someone else to avoid unpleasant topics throughout the conversation.
- Of course, if something bad happens to you and you really want to nag, vent it. But try to say at least three positive things for one negative so that you are still considered a positive person.
Step 7. Be open
Part of being friendly is making yourself a little easy to tease and sharing something about yourself. Of course you don't have to reveal your deepest, darkest secrets. Saying something a little embarrassing, stupid, or weird is good for the listener and will make them feel like you're not taking it too seriously and taking it easy on other people. Here are some things you can share:
- Childhood pet
- Crazy vacation experience.
- Your pranks on your sister
- Funny mistakes you made
- Something you wanted to do a long time ago
- Your first experience doing something stupid
- Stories about your family
Part 3 of 3: Grow Your Social Spirit
Step 1. Try to chat with new people
This is the basis of being kinder. Maybe you feel very shy or maybe you think people you don't know are insignificant, or they're all wrong people. Change that view! Start chatting with strangers on the plane, people at parties, or friends of friends. Make sure you read the situation and the person really "wants" to talk to someone new, then continue with a big smile on your face.
- You don't have to talk to every new person you meet, but the more often you do, the more comfortable you will become!
- Introduce yourself to strangers. If you're with a group of friends and someone you don't know is joining in, take the initiative.
Step 2. Give more invites
Being kinder means that you want to spend time with other people. How to? Invite them to do things. Start by inviting a group of people to a movie, a free concert, or for coffee and ice cream, and see how much friendlier you feel once they accept your invitation. Make it a goal to invite people at least once a week and you will lead a friendlier life.
- Be brave. Invite your acquaintances one by one to hang out and turn them into your friends.
- Have a party. Invite the chosen ones and have fun introducing them to each other.
Step 3. Accept more invitations
Another way to be more welcoming is to accept people's invitations. Maybe you're afraid to hang out with people you don't know very well, maybe you're busy, or you'd rather relax by yourself with a bowl of ice cream and your beloved pet. You have to get rid of all that if you want to be more friendly and start accepting invitations to movies, dinners, or parties.
There's no need to say yes to an invitation that sounds downright awful. But the next time you want to say no, ask yourself what the reason behind your reaction is. Are you afraid of something new? Afraid to socialize? Or just lazy? They are not reason enough to miss good opportunities
Step 4. Have a lively social life
If you want to be more friendly, you need to spend more time with your friends. Spending time around other people will make you a more socially aware and sensitive person who is used to chatting with other people. Try marking your calendar with invitations to parties, social events, hiking, biking, swimming, and other fun-to-get-with-friend activities.
- To have a lively social life, you have to make your social life a priority. Don't let work, school, or other commitments get in your way – don't overdo it either.
- It's important to have a busy social life, but you also have to remember time for yourself. You need to relax again, especially if you're not used to spending so much time with other people.
Step 5. Practice being friendly to people you don't like
This is not an easy thing. You don't have to be Best Friend Forever with your biggest enemy – be it your math teacher, your pretentious uncle, or that geeky girl on the edge of your circle of friends. You'd be surprised how good you feel after you've been nice to them; they will also be surprised by your hospitality.
Make a list of five people you've been treating as unfriendly. Find a way to be nice to these five people – if you think they deserve it
Step 6. Overcome your self-doubt
Maybe you're not the friendliest person in the world because you lack self-confidence and think others will judge you every time you open your mouth. Ask yourself what makes you distrust others or act cold; see if it has anything to do with what you think about yourself. If so, deal with it by loving yourself for who you are, loving what you do, and working on some of the cracks that need fixing.
Of course, overcoming your self-doubt will take years of hard work, but recognizing this as one of the sources of your problems will give you the courage to be kind to others. Remember that other people may also lack confidence, even worse
Step 7. Make friends with people your age and level
“Age and grade” here means not only the person's age, but also the stage of his life. The level of living can mean being a student, a young professional, a middle-aged woman, or an elderly person who spends more time alone. You'll have more time to hang out and more things to chat with people your age and level.
So, if for example you are a young mother. Join a group of other young moms and you'll be on your way to making amazing friends
Step 8. Show genuine interest in the other person
This is the key to not only looking friendly, but genuinely friendly. A true friendly person will care about others and want to make them comfortable. A genuinely friendly person is concerned when others are sad and rejoices when others are happy; he doesn't talk to other people just to look cool or to have lots of Facebook friends. If you really want to "be" friendly, you have to keep this in mind whenever you are conversing with people. If you really care – they will know.
- Of course, you may not be attracted to everyone in your circle. But the more you try to be friendly, the more natural it will feel.
- Remember, being friendly doesn't have to be fake. Being friendly means being more approachable, treating people with respect, and emitting positive energy.
Step 9. Surround yourself with friendly people
It's easier to be friendly if you spend time with people who are also friendly. Not only can you serve as an example, but from them you will also be able to feel the positive energy and friendly attitude that is contagious!
- As long as you're around friendly people, people will find it easier to approach you.
- Associating with people who are rude, scary, and unfriendly will discourage others from approaching or talking to you. They may be afraid of dealing with such people, or assume you have the same attitude.
Tips
- Be yourself; Don't be shy about who you are and always give someone a friendly smile.
- Do not be shy. Say hello to people you rarely talk to. Keep in touch; this will be appreciated.
- Look at yourself in the mirror and imagine positive thoughts about how you look. If you like yourself, other people will like you too.
- Try pronouncing someone else's name. The tip is to repeat their name every time you meet.
- Make a conscious decision to like the people you meet. This will produce positive body language which will make people behave positively as well. (they will be as friendly as you are).
- Never act rude or insulting.
- Always be polite!
- Don't complain about your problems to anyone. People will remember it and maybe they will pass it on, even long after your problem is over.
- Everyone has their own preferences, be it hobbies, pets, or bands. Find out what other people like and write it down.
Warning
- Be careful with your sense of humor. Jokes that are funny to you are not always funny to everyone. It's easy to make people angry without you even realizing it. What you think is funny or 'joking' can very easily offend others. This can cause a lot of problems for you at work or socially.
- If you're too friendly, you may end up looking scary. This will scare people.
