Change is a part of everyone's life. This can mean anything from moving house, a very sad life event (such as illness or death), or dealing with a relationship. Learning to adapt to change can help you feel more in control and confident in your life.
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Method 1 of 3: Adjusting to the Move
Step 1. Allow yourself to feel sad
You're not going to help yourself by trying to avoid the feelings a move brings. You may be happy, anxious, stressed, sad to leave your old life. All of this is very natural and that's okay!
- Take a break if everything feels too tiring. This could mean sitting for 15 minutes in a quiet room in a coffee shop, or sitting on a park bench.
- When you are reminded of an old life, don't push the feeling away. Take time to sit down and think about it even if it makes you cry. Through your emotions will allow you to enjoy more time in a new place.
Step 2. Let go of your expectations
You have an idea of what your new life would be like. Chances are your new life will not be like that. This doesn't mean your new life is bad or wrong. You have to let go of your expectations and let it happen as it is.
- Focus on the present. Instead of planning how you will improve your future, or remembering past pleasures, enjoy every moment you have in a new place. Soon this will all be so familiar that you won't even notice it. Enjoy the fact that you see new things and places.
- This new place and life will be different from the old one. You cannot recreate what you have. When you compare a new place to an old one, stop! Remind yourself that now everything is different and different is not a bad thing. Give the new place a chance to be good to you.
- Keep in mind that you probably won't adjust right away. It will take time to find people who can be your friends. It will take time to learn a new arena, to learn a new culture. It will take time to find your new favorite bakery, your new bookstore, and your gym.
Step 3. Get to know your new place
Part of adjusting to a new place is getting to know it. If you're always sitting in your house or apartment thinking about the past, you won't find new friends and new things. Come out!
- Join an organization you enjoy. This can mean anything from a book club, to volunteering for a group you support. Religious organizations are a great place to find a new community if you are religious. Otherwise, political organizations, or arts groups (such as singing groups, sewing groups, knitting groups, scrapbookers, etc.) are also good.
- Hang out with your coworkers. If you're moving to a new place because of work, ask your coworkers where it's a good place to go, then invite them to go with you.
- Talk to other people. Make small talk with the cashier at the grocery store, the person waiting for the bus with you, the librarian behind the counter, the barista at the coffee shop. You will need to know a little about where you live and you will begin to meet other people and be comfortable with your surroundings.
Step 4. Prepare for culture shock
Even if you change cities, it will still be different. This is even more true if you move to a new country, across the country, from a village to a city, and vice versa. All places are different and you have to be prepared/
- Try to match your speed to your new environment. For example, if you have recently moved from a big city to a small town, you will notice that the pace of life and the nature of people are very different.
- Sometimes it seems like the people in your new place speak a completely different language (even if it's the same as yours!). This may mean that you have to learn a new language, a new abbreviation, and the uniqueness of a new language. Be prepared to make mistakes and ask for clarification.
Step 5. Keep in touch with your old life
Just because you have a new life you are learning doesn't mean you have to forget the old one. At first it may cause sadness, nostalgia, and regret, but the connection with your old life can also support you in your new life.
- Use technology to connect with each other. You live in an era where it is very easy to maintain relationships with people far away. Send text messages, use social media, use Skype, etc. to contact your old friends and family.
- Getting a nice message from a friend can help ease the loneliness you will feel in a new place.
- However, don't let your old life tire your new life. If you spend all your time looking back, talking to only old friends and family, you will miss out on the new life and the new friends you will meet. This is why it is so important to meet new people in your new place.
Step 6. Exercise
Not only are these cars keeping you healthy and making your brain happy (with all those endorphins), it's also a great way to get to know your city and meet other people.
- Take a walk. Choose a new area to explore so you can begin to recognize your new place of residence.
- Join a sports group. Find someone who wants to run in the morning, or join a yoga class. You will start getting to know new people.
Step 7. Learn to be alone
One of the key parts of adjusting to displacement is self-study. No matter how friendly you are, how many groups you join, and the places you visit, you will sometimes be alone and lonely. It's okay! This won't last forever.
Don't rely on others for confirmation or support
Step 8. Give yourself time
It takes time to adjust to anything, and that includes moving on. You will feel stressed and nostalgic and lonely at times. That's very normal. There's a timeline for adjusting to a new place that can help:
- The first phase in the transition is called the honeymoon phase. This is when everything feels so new and fun and different (sometimes scary). This usually lasts for 3 months.
- After the honeymoon phase is the negotiation phase, when you really start to see the difference between your new place and your old home. This is usually the time when feelings of uncertainty, loneliness, and homesickness kick in. While this usually comes after the honeymoon phase, sometimes you will jump right into this phase.
- The next phase is usually the adjustment phase, which occurs after about six to twelve months in your new place. This is when you have developed an all new routine and you feel at home.
- It usually takes up to a year to reach the mastery phase, where you feel more comfortable in your new home. However, sometimes it can take longer. Remember, everyone is different.
Method 2 of 3: Adjusting to Big Life Events
Step 1. Take it step by step
No matter what the change (illness, death of a family member, leaving your job or marriage) you won't be able to deal with it if you try to get through it too soon. The more you look ahead, the less you focus on what's happening and the more pain it will feel.
- For example, if you lose your job, or leave, avoid trying to face things head-on. You will be exhausted and confused. Better, face every moment as it comes. Take a moment to update your C. V. You, use the next moment to browse the internet or the newspaper or talk to other people about getting a new job.
- Living in nostalgia for the past or in anxiety for the future is a sign of depression or an anxiety disorder. You have to make sure if you are unable to focus on the present because of anxiety or depression that you will seek help. People who have gone through major life changes, or already have one of these problems, may become depressed or anxious, or the problems will get worse.
Step 2. Take care of yourself
One of the things that many people usually forget is taking care of themselves and making themselves feel safe. It should be an intimate nurturing that truly relaxes you and is wrapped in caring, like being wrapped in a big, warm blanket.
- You'll know what's best for you, but some suggestions are to make a cup of tea and focus on drinking it (inhale the steam, feel the warmth go down your throat and flood your stomach), wrap yourself in a warm blanket or use a heating pad, do yoga and focus on your breathing and your body movements.
- If negative or sad thoughts are interfering with your moment, acknowledge them and let them go. Tell yourself that you will deal with those thoughts later, but now you should focus on finding comfort for yourself.
Step 3. Allow yourself to feel
No matter what kind of change it was, it would be filled with emotion. If you ignore these emotions and try to avoid them, they will only come back stronger and more painful later on. This doesn't mean you have to sink into sadness and anger, but it does mean that you have to allow yourself to feel angry and sad.
- You will go through emotions such as denial, anger, sadness, and acceptance. Each time you deal with it it will make it go faster next time.
- Don't turn to “painkillers”: this could mean something like drugs and alcohol, but it could also mean watching too much television, overeating not to enjoy food but because it helps you not to avoid feelings, or even to enter into a relationship. romantic. These “pain relievers” help you avoid, not deal with, your feelings.
Step 4. Take time to reflect on the changes
Change means different things to different people, even to the same person at different times in their lives. Reflecting on your feelings, reflecting on what has changed and why can help you deal with the emotional turmoil that change causes.
Journaling is another way to reflect on change. It not only helps you let your feelings out, but also logs your journey through those changes. When another change comes along, you can look back on how you handled the previous one and how you felt and how you went through it
Step 5. Find someone to talk to
Talking to someone will not only make you feel good but will shed light on changes and yourself that you may not know about.
- Try to find someone who has been through what you are going through. This person will be your kind of advisor, someone who can help you see that the way you are dealing with change is normal, and that your feelings are right. They can also provide enlightenment and help you stay on the right path to recovery.
- Support groups and religious organizations are great, especially for people who are dealing with illness, the death of a loved one, and similar life changes. This is a great place to find someone who's been through what you're going through and can guide you.
Step 6. Dream for the future
While you don't want to obsess over the future or spend too much time worrying about it, you do want to have good things waiting for you. This means deciding what you want in the future and working towards creating it.
- Daydreaming is a great way to try to imagine a scenario to see what you want to do. Let your mind run free to see what you want to make out of this major life change.
- Collect ideas you like from the internet, or in magazines. You can look at home ideas, work ideas, and plan how you will incorporate them into your own life.
Step 7. Make small improvements
It's easiest to make small steps. Taking steps that are too big can be overwhelming. What you want to do while you're trying to fit in is try to make your life a little better, a little easier.
Small adjustments can mean: eating healthier (especially if you're dealing with illness), exercising to help increase the happiness-making chemicals in your body and making you healthier, using your time better (making a plan and doing it; making sure you have a productive day)
Step 8. Incorporate relaxation techniques into your life
Relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, and even walking, can help you reduce stress and make it easier for you to adjust to the changes you face in life.
- Meditation is a great relaxation technique to choose from because it helps calm your mind, reduces stress, and can be practiced anywhere. If you're just starting out, it's a good idea to choose a quiet place, set a timer for 15 minutes (or you can count your breaths if you don't want to use a clock), and sit comfortably. Breathe deeply. Focus on your breathing, in and out. If you're distracted by thoughts, come to your senses, then refocus on your breathing.
- Yoga is another great relaxation technique. Yoga isn't just about meditation (focusing on breathing), it's a great way to exercise, move your body, and heal stiffness in your muscles or back.
Step 9. Understand that change will always be there
Live about change. No matter how prepared you are, there will always be surprising changes. If you try too hard to interfere with your life and the way you are now, it will be more difficult to adjust to change in the long term.
Again, this doesn't mean denying your feelings about change, because change can be scary and exhausting, but it does mean that you have to accept those feelings as part of the change
Method 3 of 3: Adjusting to Relationships
Step 1. Adjust to the new relationship
The beginning of a relationship can be filled with fun things. However, it is very important to stay calm, if you want the relationship to last.
- Move slowly. You don't want to live in the same house right away, planning for the future when you're just starting out. If you start deciding on your child's name just a few months after starting the relationship, take a step back and remind yourself to focus on the moment and not jump forward.
- Avoid being too spoiled. It's normal for you to want to spend all your time with this new charming person, but it's not healthy. Don't always call or text and run into this person. This will not only strengthen the relationship, but you will not get bored quickly.
- Keep each other's life. Keep your friends, work, and habits to yourself. Of course you have to do things together, but take the time to do things separately. That way you can still talk a lot, and you won't tire each other out with too much attention.
Step 2. Deal with changes in the relationship
Relationships will always change. There's nothing you can do about it, but you can get through it. It could be that your partner suddenly becomes a mess, even though he used to be neat, or your husband decides that he doesn't want children, even though he used to.
- Deal with problems as quickly as possible, especially if they are small but can become big later. For example: if your partner gets messy and doesn't clean up, talk to him or her and use "my statement." Say “I feel like I always wash the dishes, even if I don't use them at all,” or “I get really frustrated when I have to tidy up all your clothes.”
- One of the keys to adapting to change is reaching a compromise or accepting the change. This means following your partner's feelings on this issue, but your feelings on the next issue, or it may mean meeting a halfway point.
- Discuss how the change affected your relationship and determine how important the issue is to your relationship. If you want to have children and your partner doesn't want this it could mean that you decide it's okay if you don't have children, or it could mean that the relationship has to end and the two of you split up.
Step 3. Maintain your long distance relationship
This can be very difficult for a lot of people, but now it's easier than ever. It can take time and effort to adjust to a long distance relationship and you need to be prepared for the time it takes.
- Communicate with each other. This is the biggest problem that arises in long distance relationships. Make sure you talk about what's important to you, issues that arise in your relationship and life, and what you care about.
- Face the doubts. You will have fears about what he is doing, sometimes you will not believe him, sometimes you will doubt him. The best thing you can do, unless you have evidence that something suspicious is going on, is to talk about your frustrations about the long distance, or complain to a friend about your doubts. This helps those doubts out and doesn't poison you.
- Spend time together. Make sure you both make time for each other. Send cute postcards and letters and talk over the phone and the internet. Set a specific date and try to meet in person.
Step 4. Adjust by starting to live in the same house
This can be a major change in a relationship and therefore should be done with caution. You should get comfortable quickly, even if there are minor obstacles. Also remember that you will change your mind about living together, usually a few days after doing so, because change is so scary.
- One key thing to being comfortable together is that you're not hiding things that aren't sexy and necessary like tampons and pads, or those crappy panties you have. Your partner will figure it out somehow and the more open you are about things like this, the more comfortable you will both be.
- Routines will change. It's something you have to be prepared for. You have to determine things like who does what homework, where your belongings will be placed, and so on. There will be a lot of negotiation and change.
- Give each other space. Part of adjusting to living in the same house is giving each other space to deal with the emotions and feelings that will arise from this change.
Step 5. Deal with the breakup
Initially, you will need time to grieve over the ending, even if you are the one who ended it. Breakups are very difficult for both parties and take time to get through. There are a few key things you should do if you're trying to adjust to your new single status:
- Take space from the person. This means deleting him from Facebook (or at least blocking his uploads), deleting him from your phone, away from his favorite places. The more you talk to him, the more trapped you will feel.
- Find yourself. If you've been in a relationship, especially a relationship long enough, you start to lose your individual identity and become part of two people. When a relationship breaks up, it's time to find out who you are without him. Do fun things, go out and try new things. This will take your mind off him and help you meet new people.
- Be careful with impingement relationships. You shouldn't jump straight from one relationship to another without taking the time to actually go through the end of the first relationship. Getting directly involved with a new person is a surefire way to hurt you as well as the new person.
