Sarcasm occurs when someone makes an observation that is not meant to be misinterpreted as the truth to attract the attention of others through his silliness. Often sarcasm is used as an aggressive verbal tool, although it can be disguised as humor. Sarcasm is a way to ridicule or tease others. Usually the main indicator of sarcasm is a certain tone of voice. This tone of voice makes the attitude of the culprit difficult to pinpoint.
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Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Statements Flexibly
Step 1. Distinguish between funny and hurtful sarcasm
Sometimes sarcasm is used to inject a sense of humor into a situation or melt away tension. In other cases, sarcasm is used as a verbal weapon to hurt. Knowing the difference is important because you shouldn't overreact if this person is just trying to be funny. In general, if this statement doesn't embarrass a particular person, it's probably made to inject a sense of humor.
- For example, someone might try to lighten the mood by saying, "Oh, I'm so glad I'm standing in this very long line right now." There is no aggressive element in this sentence because the person only wants to provoke laughter.
- On the other hand, this statement can be considered aggressive, depending on the tone of voice when you say it: "Wow, I'm so lucky to be standing behind you in this very long line."
Step 2. Ignore sarcastic remarks
The best way to deal with sarcastic remarks is to assume that the person making them is sincere. It's a way to keep the conversation flowing without interruption and to make you appear confident and calm.
- You can also completely ignore a sarcastic statement by pretending you didn't hear it.
- If the person wants to upset you, you won't please them by not paying attention.
- Talking to the other person will send a message to him that you are not willing to engage further into the conversation with this sarcastic person.
Step 3. Correct what the person said
This is another way to pretend you don't understand the sarcasm and deny this person's negative intentions.
- For example, if the person says, "Wow, that's surprising! You could do something great too!" You can respond by saying that you are doing this because you just want to help.
- By responding sincerely, you will make his words look stupid.
Step 4. Share how you feel about the statement
Sometimes being honest is the best response, especially if the person is constantly being sarcastic. You don't have to be angry or defensive. You just have to say that his comments pissed you off.
- Keep your comments simple and to the point, without mentioning anything else that could offend your feelings.
- If he tries to pretend it's not a big deal, don't respond. Telling how you feel about this sarcastic comment is not an invitation to debate your feelings.
- You can also find time to talk to this sarcastic person when you're calm. Find a place and time where you are unlikely to be interrupted, and express your feelings. This can provide sympathy and a good attitude of understanding.
Step 5. Try to stay calm
Responding to sarcastic comments with sarcasm also usually doesn't end well. When you start to feel irritated, take a deep breath and try not to say anything. If possible, try to walk away from the situation.
- If this happens at work, responding with anger could cost you your job or experience other negative consequences.
- Try your best not to respond too quickly. Another option is to try to silently count to 10 before responding. If you're still upset after counting to 10, repeat the process.
Step 6. Think about why you are responding
If this sarcasm is really bothering you, there's probably something going on inside of you. Is this topic really sensitive to you? Do you have a low self-confidence issue and this comment reminds you of him? If that's the case, it's probably not the sarcasm that's the problem.
- Try talking to a counselor or friend about an issue that's always bothering you so you can deal with social temptations.
- As your self-confidence improves, you also find yourself stronger in social situations.
Step 7. Think about the available options
Do you have to get used to this sarcastic person because he or she is your supervisor or maybe your mother-in-law? If the sarcasm is coming from someone you're less likely to see often, you'll find it easier to ignore the annoyance.
- If this sarcasm is being uttered by someone you work with or you see regularly, it's a good idea to try to discuss how this sarcasm affects you.
- Be aware that this person may have their reasons for seeing your response to their sarcasm.
Method 2 of 3: Understanding the Reasons Underlying Sarcasm
Step 1. Realize that you may have a different sense of humor
Men tend to perceive sarcasm as a form of humor than women. If your feelings are hurt by a sarcastic statement, think about whether or not the intent behind this statement is really bad.
- Think about other things this person said or did and how these other things made you feel.
- If most of his actions are good, chances are that the person has a different sense of humor.
Step 2. Understand the roots of sarcasm
Basically sarcasm is a form of anger. Often a sarcastic person is full of hatred or anger about something, whether at home or at work. This could come from you, but it could also come from somewhere else.
- The drive behind sarcasm is to make the other person feel bad so that the sarcastic person can feel better.
- It's a dysfunctional form of communication that hurts the other person more than it helps the person making it up, but it's quite commonly used.
Step 3. Think about how often this statement is made
If the person lives in an environment where sarcasm is a common method of communicating anger, they may not even notice when they use it on others. Even though he was aware, this was a hard habit to change.
- If the person wants to learn better communication patterns, he or she can talk to a counselor or therapist.
- Even though this is a habit, it doesn't mean it's acceptable to be sarcastic.
Method 3 of 3: Learn to Recognize Sarcasm
Step 1. Listen to the tone of voice
A sarcastic tone of voice is easier to spot if you know this person well, because the changes are less noticeable than your usual tone of voice. If this person wants to make sure his sarcasm is recognized, he may be exaggerating the tone of his voice. A sarcastic tone of voice doesn't have any easily defined characteristics, but can generally be identified by the following characteristics:
- His voice was lower than usual.
- Sarcastic words can be extended or emphasized. For example, "Yeah, it's a GOOD day for a picnic."
- Sometimes people mumble sarcastic comments.
- You can hear a small sigh after the sarcastic comment is issued.
Step 2. Pay attention to facial expressions
People who make sarcastic remarks often express their feelings through facial expressions that contrast with their statements. For example, a person grimaces when he makes a positive statement. For example, if someone looks gloomy when they say today is a good day for a picnic, they may be being sarcastic because most people enjoy good days and picnics.
- Other facial expressions that are often seen when sarcastic comments are made include rolling eyeballs, raised eyebrows, or raised shoulders.
- Sometimes people who are sarcastic don't even show facial expressions at all. His face was flat, and so was his tone.
Step 3. Think about whether this person is trying to tell the truth or not
Sarcasm is a statement of something that is not true without the intention of deceiving anyone. A sarcastic statement is the opposite of what is said.
- For example, when someone says, "The weather's great for a picnic," on a day that's clearly not ideal for a picnic (it's cold, raining, or something is going to get in the way of a fun picnic), they're being sarcastic.
- This statement is not made with the intention that the weather is really good for a picnic.
Step 4. See if there is any use of hyperbole
Hyperbole is a sentence that is greatly exaggerated and should not be taken literally. Statements like this are often used sarcastically. For example, if someone really thinks a singer's concert is bad, he or she can say, "That concert was great! Let me pay you 5 times more for the ticket! Cheap!" To detect hyperbole, try to see whether the statement is in accordance with reality or not. You can read the person's tone of voice to see if the sentence is meant to provoke laughter or attack.
- The use of hyperbole sarcastic sentences can be intended to entertain or attack. In the example above, if the speaker assumes that he is speaking to a friend who is equally disappointed that he has paid too much for concert tickets, this is a sarcastic statement that is not meant to hurt.
- If the statement was addressed to the concert organizer, it could be that this sarcasm was meant to hurt him.
- Sometimes hyperbole is used to express enthusiasm, not sarcasm. For example, someone might say, "That's the most delicious cake in the whole world. I could eat 10 dozen more!" If he's eaten the whole cake before, you can assume that this isn't sarcastic.
Step 5. Be aware that some sentences are often sarcastic
There are some sentences that are often used sarcastically so you should assume they are meant literally. For example, when someone says "Just talk to the wall," that person is being sarcastic.
- When a person responds to a stupid statement with the words, "so smart," he is definitely being sarcastic.
- According to studies, the English sentence, "yeah, right" has a 25% chance of being sarcastic.
Step 6. Each region has its own level of sarcasm
For example in the United States, surveys show that sarcasm is used more frequently in northern states than in southern states. In addition, many people in the northern states consider themselves to be more sarcastic than those in the southern states.
Children ages 4 and up can imitate the sarcastic attitude of their parents and caregivers
Step 7. Recognize that several conditions affect a person's ability to recognize sarcasm
While people can tell from the clues whether a sentence is sarcastic or not, these clues can go unnoticed by people with cognitive processing problems. For example, people with head injuries, brainstem lesions, autism, or schizophrenia may have trouble recognizing sarcasm.
- If you notice a decrease in your ability to recognize sarcasm, it could be a sign of dementia or another neurodegenerative disorder.
- Sarcasm is the simplest form of lying. If a person can't interpret sarcasm, chances are he or she can't understand lies.
