Whether we like it or not, at some point in our lives we will meet someone who is very childish, it could be in the office or in the neighborhood. People like this can ruin your emotional, social life, and your whole perspective. With a little understanding, restraint, and practice, you will be able to deal with the person with ease.
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Method 1 of 3: Understanding Childlike Behavior
Step 1. Think about the person's age
Childish or immature means "immature". Therefore, the person doesn't even know how to handle certain situations. The younger he is, the harder it is for him to understand. Be more understanding when dealing with the immaturity of a young person.
- For example, a boy shows immaturity by making jokes about his breasts and genitals, farting his friends, picking his nose, and acting like a child. While annoying, this is actually normal behavior for a boy his age, and should probably be ignored. Give younger people room to mature and mature before you get really angry.
- On the other hand, adults who appear mature (people who no longer joke around with their friends) can still be emotionally childish. This person can be intolerant, unwilling to admit their mistakes and take responsibility for them, or deliberately trying to make you jealous or angry.
Step 2. Try to differentiate between adult and immature responses
Some extreme situations can sometimes trigger immature reactions, known as age regression, which can blur the boundaries between adult and child emotions. Try to respond wisely when you see someone acting childishly. There are many ways to tell if the reaction is a manifestation of adult or childish emotion.
- An emotionally immature person will: be reactive; consider himself a victim; acting on emotions (instinctive reactions such as angry outbursts, sudden crying, etc.); be a person who is busy thinking about and protecting oneself; seems always trying to justify his actions to himself or others; being manipulative; motivated by fear or the feeling that he "should" do something and the need to avoid failure, discomfort, and rejection.
- Someone who shows emotional maturity will: be open to hearing other people's perspectives; be proactive; motivated by growth and acting with vision and purpose' acts because he chooses to do it, not because he feels he has to; act with integrity, which means that their actions are in line with their values.
Step 3. Understand why someone might become emotionally immature
Emotionally immature people find it difficult to deal with their emotions and often feel helpless or feel unable to change circumstances or improve their lives. This may be because he never learned to deal with and deal with difficult emotions. Even if his childish behavior isn't appropriate, you may become more understanding when you realize he's acting this way out of fear, feeling he has to protect himself from these uncomfortable emotions.
Step 4. Acknowledge any possible mental health issues
The person dealing with it may have ADHD or a personality disorder. Some disorders of this type can be seen from a childish attitude and can manifest in various ways.
- A person with ADHD may appear immature, but is actually a mental disorder. He may have trouble paying attention and talk excessively, may appear bossy or interruptive, be very aggressive in his words when he is frustrated, or have trouble controlling his emotions so that he explodes or cries.
- Borderline personality disorder is usually accompanied by drastic mood swings.
- People with antisocial personality disorder are usually unkind and lack the ability to respect your feelings.
- People with histrionic personality disorder can become overly emotional about seeking attention and appear restless if they aren't the center of attention.
- Narcissistic personality disorder causes people to have an exaggerated view of their self-worth. These people also have a lack of empathy for others so that he becomes fragile and can explode emotionally.
Method 2 of 3: Dealing with Immature People
Step 1. Understand that you can't force someone to change
The reality is, this isn't your fight - if this person isn't willing to recognize their behavior and take the necessary steps to change it, there's not much you can do. An emotionally immature person can have a very hard time realizing that he really needs to change because his emotional immaturity makes him prone to blaming other people or circumstances for his bad behavior.
The only thing you can control is your behavior - how you react to the person, and how you spend time with them
Step 2. Try to limit your contact with that person
Depending on the severity of the person and their willingness to change, you may have to cut ties with them. If this immature person is your partner, you may have to end the relationship if he or she isn't willing to change. If this person is someone you cannot eliminate from your life such as a boss, coworker, or family member, try to limit your contact as much as possible.
- Keep your interactions as short as possible. Try to ask permission to leave the conversation firmly but politely, and say something like, "I'm sorry I had to interrupt, but I'm working on an important project and have to get back to work."
- In social situations, try your best to avoid them by talking to other friends or relatives.
Step 3. Communicate assertively
Emotionally immature people can be manipulative and self-centered, so if you must communicate with them, try to be clear and assertive. Assertive doesn't mean aggressive - it means being clear, respectful, and stating what "you" need, while respecting the needs, feelings, and wants of others. In short, you state what you need and release the results.
- Understand that even if you have communicated your needs in an adult way, an immature person may not respond in an adult way.
- Try to learn to be assertive by reading this wikiHow article: How To Be Assertive.
Step 4. Talk to the person
If you feel that the person is open to receiving input and you want to maintain a relationship with them, maybe you can try to talk to them about their attitude. Prepare yourself to deal with his defensiveness, which could get in the way of you getting your message across. Maybe you can suggest talking to a counselor or someone who can help him learn to communicate maturely.
- Convey what was immature and how it affected you. For example, "I feel overwhelmed when you don't want to take on more responsibilities at home. Will you help me every week?" Then give him what he can to help you every day.
- You can remind him that the change can be very difficult, but you will be there for him and help him to grow and mature if he is willing.
Method 3 of 3: Responding to Aggressive Immature Sikap
Step 1. Ignore the person and let him or her go
The easiest and simplest way when a childish person is trying to get your attention or get a response from you. By responding to this behavior, you are giving in to what he wants and can make him act even more childish. Ignoring him will frustrate him that he can't attack you and so he will give up.
- If this childish person loses his temper or tries to get you into an argument, it's important that you let go of his attempts to upset you.
- Turn your gaze away from him. Turn your head or gaze away. Don't acknowledge his presence.
- Turn your body to turn your back. If he moves to face you, turn your body back.
- Leave him. Move steadily and avoid him as quickly as possible until he stops following.
- Try an indifferent approach to technology. Talking to someone or interrupting them while that person is busy with their phone or tablet is very difficult. You will be so busy that you don't even notice his presence.
Step 2. Ask the person not to bother you
If the person doesn't want to go either, you may want to be a little confrontational and tell them you can't deal with them anymore. Gather all your courage and politely ask him to leave you and at the same time leave the place. Try one of the approaches below:
- Gently push him away by saying, "Please leave me alone now. I'm not in a good mood."
- Say bluntly, "Leave me."
- Take a forward approach, "I don't want to argue with you. This conversation is over."
- Use the broken recording technique. Keep repeating your refusal, "This conversation is over." Stay calm while applying this technique and try to walk away.
Step 3. Tell how the person is behaving
It could be that this person is not aware that he is being childish. Part of growing up is learning to deal with people who are easier and/or more immature. Confronting a childish person who has been bothering you and letting him know that his behavior was inappropriate can lead him to avoid you.
- You can try to be direct by saying, "I don't like your attitude. Stop it."
- Tell him about his attitude, "You are so immature. Stop bothering me."
- Respond with a question, "Do you realize that you are very childish now?"
Step 4. Resist the urge to fight fire with fire
It's possible for you to respond to this person in an immature way too to let him know what it's like. But this can be bad for you. If you interact with this person in a work context, your childish behavior could get you into trouble. Also, it can be dangerous to challenge a childish person who is also aggressive and has anger issues. If you feel the urge to respond to this person, try to be the adult and ignore him and leave him.
Step 5. Get help
If this person is aggressive and won't stop bothering you, try talking to a lawyer or the police. No one is allowed to disturb or touch you. These people need to be warned by the other party to stop bothering you and likely won't stop until there is a stronger party they fear. Here are some options you can use:
- Use social networks that support you. If you can't avoid contact with this childish person, seek help from friends, family, teachers or employees at school, your boss, or anyone you trust.
- Tell the person you will call the police. When he hears you're going to report to the authorities, he'll feel intimidated enough to stop bothering you.
- Call the police. If you are concerned about your safety and/or the person is harassing, threatening, stalking or being rude to you, the police can intervene or you can report them. Make sure you record each incident in detail so that you have a record of this disruptive act and how long it has been going on.
- Distractions include threats; call, send messages, email, leave messages or other forms of contact frequently; follow someone; squeeze; inflate car tires.
- If you are in the United States, try to request a restraining restraining order. In this country, the laws are different in each state. But you can talk to the police or a lawyer to find out your options in this case.
Tips
- Take a deep breath. Don't take your anger out on this person because you can get down to the same level as him and he wins.
- Don't act impulsively. In responding to each of his actions, take some time before you make a decision or say something.
