Ending a friendship with your best friend is sometimes more difficult than ending a relationship with a lover or family member. He knows you inside and out, and you usually spend more time with him than anyone else. When your friendship breaks down, you need to let it go, be mature about the situation, and learn to interact with your ex. It's not easy to learn to deal with it, but this is important so that you can rise from your inner hurt and be happy again.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Letting go of existing friendships
Step 1. Find the final moments of friendship
When your friendship ends, it's important that you accept it and work on your feelings. Write a letter to your friend expressing all your feelings (you don't need to send it), or create a ritual to symbolize the end of your friendship. In order to be happy, you have to be willing to acknowledge your feelings, process them, and move on to the next stage of your life.
- Write down that your friendship started out great, but eventually fell apart. Explain what ended your friendship, how you feel, and emphasize that the friendship is over.
- As a ritual, prepare valuables that he gave, then bury, burn, or dispose of these items.
Step 2. Let yourself be happy
Start with small changes such as eating regularly. Do not be too much or often vent your anger. Do the things you love, and give yourself the opportunity to do wise things for others. This may seem challenging, but you have to be willing to push yourself because your happiness is in your control.
- Watch movies you love, enjoy meals at your favorite restaurants, and try new things to find out what makes you happiest.
- Do not hesitate to seek comfort from others. Spend your time with your closest friends or family members.
Step 3. Make plans in case you meet him in the future
There are many reasons why a friendship ends, but it could be that your ex-best friend wants to be friends with you again. If you're not prepared, you could end up regretting the decision you made (in this case, ending the friendship). Think about what you should say to him if he says he wants to be friends again.
- Practice phrases like these in front of the mirror: "I'm touched that you want to be friends with me again, but I think we'd better not be friends again."
- Do the same on social media, and refuse friend requests. You can send a private message with a similar statement.
Part 2 of 3: Facing the Drama
Step 1. Ignore what he says about you
You may be offended by what he says about you, even though what he says may be true. The key to dealing with drama like this is to ignore it. If you tell everyone what happened, you will end up in a heated argument that continues for a long time.
- By telling what happened publicly, you risk destroying other friendships and making it difficult for yourself to recover from the hurt.
- For example, if he spreads rumors about you at school, ignore him. Don't tell him bad things to get revenge.
Step 2. Don't involve other friends in your fight
Of course, anyone will not feel comfortable when they have to take sides. Also, it's not fair to ask your friends who both know you and your ex-best friends to side with one of you. Don't talk about your ex-friends, especially to friends who also know them. Refrain from texting each other "evil" about your ex-best friend with other friends.
- Never say things like “When you meet him, tell him I think he's a liar!” to other friends.
- This applies to all friends who attend the same school, especially other friends who also know him. Gossip or rumors about it can eventually be found out by your former best friend.
Step 3. Set boundaries for yourself
Don't talk to him. Stay away from things you usually do together, and change routines that often involve them.
- Sometimes, you and your ex-best friend have to do something together (or be in the same place). However, try to limit contact with him as much as possible.
- If he goes to the same school, try explaining the situation to the teacher. Tell your teacher that you will have a hard time doing your homework if you are paired with him.
Step 4. Pretend the problem doesn't bother you
Spicy comments and mean gestures are sometimes shown so he can see your reaction. If you don't respond, he will eventually leave you sooner. Stay positive by realizing that what he says about you doesn't reflect who you really are.
- Let yourself feel proud that you managed to ignore his immaturity and let the situation end.
- Don't retaliate if he sends a cruel message or letter. Throw away the letter or message and get back to your day. Try not to get upset.
Part 3 of 3: Interacting with Him in Public
Step 1. Try to be polite
There is a possibility that you will pass or meet him at a certain moment. When this happens, you have to be calm. If you don't need to talk to him, thank goodness. If you have to talk to him, just say hello and be polite.
- If you see him at a party and he asks how you're doing, you can give him an answer like "I'm fine. I hope you are doing well."
- If you run into him at a school event, simply "recognize" him and get back to your activities.
Step 2. Keep your interactions with them brief
Just because you need to be polite, doesn't mean you have to respond for a long time. Answer the questions he asks briefly if you feel comfortable. However, don't ask questions. It will only prolong the conversation with him.
- Show a polite attitude when he tries to start a casual conversation. For example, if he asks how your mom is doing, you might say, “Oh. My mother is fine. Thank you."
- The key is not to add anything that can prolong the conversation, such as "Hope your parents are well" or "How's your mom doing?"
Step 3. Avoid things that can make him misunderstand the situation
If you don't want to be friends with him again, don't be too warm. Show a polite attitude when you meet him, and end the meeting without reflecting that he could be friends with you again. If you actually seem to miss him, this impression actually opens up the opportunity for him to be friends with you again (or even fight again).
- You don't have to say "Nice to meet you!" or “See you again, okay!”. Such remarks gave him false hope of rekindling the friendship.
- End the conversation with something like "Thank goodness you're okay. Uh, excuse me, yes! I need to talk to my boyfriend (or whoever you can think of). Bye!"
Tips
- Being happy is the best form of revenge for an evil former friend.
- Don't bump into your ex-friend.
- Don't stalk her on social media. Forget it.
- If you hear him talking about you, don't yell at him. Let it be. If he starts threatening you online or elsewhere, report his actions.
