Most of us have heard the expression “Speak good or be silent”. While saying nice things is normal for some people, there are people who have a hard time praising or flattering others. If you're having trouble saying nice things, take a look at some of our suggestions – you'll learn how to give good feedback so others feel good. With a little practice, you'll be confident in saying nice things sincerely to other people.
Step
Method 1 of 10: Look for the good in someone or the wisdom of a situation
Step 1. Instead of focusing on the negative, pay attention to the positive
This principle is often the backbone of positive parenting techniques, namely by emphasizing kindness through acknowledging and appreciating children.
For example, instead of waiting for someone to make a mistake before you say something, pay attention to the good things you find. For example, praising a child who behaves more politely when invited to the store or praising a friend who is used to being late when he arrives on time for dinner
Method 2 of 10: Give clear, detailed compliments
Step 1. Your comments will feel more personal and you will appear more sincere
Make compliments feel more meaningful by customizing them based on the person being complimented. Instead of saying “You look beautiful today”, say something like “That color suits you.”
To praise behavior, set a specific example. If you're a parent, instead of saying "You did well at school," say "I like the way you get along with your classmates."
Method 3 out of 10: Appreciate someone who makes you feel supported
Step 1. Thank him and let him know you care about him
Compliments are usually directed at one specific action, but don't forget that you can say thank you. Build a genuine relationship by speaking your heart out.
For example, say to your family, “Thank you for your support during this difficult time. I know you guys are always ready to help and that really helps”, or say to a coworker “Thanks for your help on this project. I can be annoying at times, but I really appreciate your help.”
Method 4 of 10: Compliment someone even if you don't know them
Step 1. Take the time to say nice things to strangers
No need to praise in detail, just convey it sincerely. Make eye contact and smile. After that, say something nice about the person's appearance or actions. Here are some examples to help you:
- "You're really kind enough to give that woman a seat."
- "Those earrings match your hair color very well."
- "You have great skin!"
- "Thank you for saving my shopping cart, you are so kind!"
Method 5 out of 10: Praise your partner's good deeds
Step 1. Make your relationship more intimate by conveying the things he likes about him
If you have a partner, it's easy to assume that your partner knows you care about them. Make her day feel better by telling her what you like about her. You can say:
- "You are really skilled at making crafts".
- "I like your sociable character to compensate for my rigidity. We complement each other!"
- "You don't realize it, you're getting more patient now."
Method 6 of 10: Comment on a person's good character, not just their appearance
Step 1. Sometimes, it is very difficult to compliment someone's physique
The person may lack confidence in their body shape or your compliments may not be appropriate for the current situation. Instead of praising the physical, praise the good things he did.
- For example, avoid small talk like “You look great!”. However, try saying “You looked very confident at the meeting yesterday. Thank you for making everyone pay attention.”
- If you really want to compliment someone on how they look, say something specific and kind. Instead of saying “You look great! You've lost weight, haven't you?", say something like "I love the color of your shirt, it looks really pretty.".
Method 7 of 10: Share how you feel about someone
Step 1. Share your surprise, pride, or happiness with the person
Build closer relationships by sharing your feelings based on what someone said or did. For example, instead of saying “Good job at yesterday's meeting”, say “Thanks for getting everyone to listen to my ideas at yesterday's meeting. You really make me feel supported."
- If you're having trouble communicating your feelings, don't beat around the bush. Just say that you really appreciate it!
- Don't say anything insincere. Most people will notice the other person's insincerity and you can actually ruin your relationship if you're not really sincere.
Method 8 out of 10: Praise someone's efforts, not just the results
Step 1. Compliment the effort someone puts into letting them know you appreciate it
When talking to a teammate or partner, convey that you really appreciate his efforts. The effort could be a challenging class, hard work on a project, or an action to improve the quality of the relationship. Say something nice about the process, not just the end result.
- For example, say, “I was really impressed by your efforts to approach your sister. I know he's hard to talk to, but you really put in the effort."
- If you are a parent, instill this principle in your children too. They may not win certain games or races, but they will be happy that their efforts to try can be rewarded.
Method 9 of 10: Ask questions to get someone to accept the compliment
Step 1. Don't let someone avoid your compliments
Sometimes, people are reluctant to accept compliments. Asking a question after complimenting someone will help them accept it and respond so that the conversation continues.
For example, if you are a parent, say to your child, "How did you know your sister wanted to borrow the toy?" or say to a coworker “Do you have any suggestions to help me become a more effective speaker?”
Method 10 out of 10: Avoid adding criticism to a compliment
Step 1. Resist the urge to make suggestions or add italics when complimenting
No one likes to receive feedback with criticism. For example, don't say "Your hair looks better today than it did yesterday", or "You looked very confident at the meeting, but you seem to be talking too much."
Think about what words make someone happy. If your comment can hurt someone, don't say it
Tips
- Leave positive comments on someone's social media pages instead of ignoring them. It's easy to leave likes or likes on someone's social media content, but to make a deeper impression, leave a good comment.
- Say good things that come to your mind. If you wait to say something nice next time, the compliment will sound insincere.
- Show sincerity by looking into the other person's eyes. Various studies show that people are more likely to trust the other person who makes direct eye contact.
