Everyone enjoys a good joke, but when the joke hits you, it's hard to know how to react, respond, and continue to have a good time. Stay calm and consider the joker's intentions. If the intent isn't malicious, you don't have to be upset about it. Laughter is often automatic, but getting offended is a choice. You can choose not to take jokes to heart.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Considering the Joke's Intent
Step 1. Assume the best in others
Try to remember that most jokes are genuine attempts to sound funny. Sometimes, we take the easiest way to sound funny, and that sometimes takes the form of a joke that attacks someone. If the attack is directed at you, try to remember that the person is just trying to sound funny-perhaps it's more about him and not you.
- The joke may be sincere, but the choice of words is not good. Or maybe the joker misjudged how sensitive you are to a topic.
- Sometimes people make jokes about sensitive topics, with the intention of showing support to those who need it most or to lighten the mood.
Step 2. Consider the situation
Pay attention to the atmosphere. If the joke is actually lighthearted (with no intention of hurting yourself or anyone else), you can reply lightly. You can tease the joker back to continue the conversation or smile and ignore him.
- Keep your jokes light when joking with the joke maker. Remember that he's trying to have fun and be silly with you.
- If the tone is cruel or threatening, you may need to show a polite joke to the joker.
Step 3. Consider the source
Some people are just being silly, or have good intentions but are not good with words. Under these circumstances, it might be best to leave it alone. A friend may have a wry sense of humor. Recognize that it's just part of his humor and that he doesn't mean anything bad.
We all have bad qualities. An overly sarcastic friend probably won't make a drastic change to their personality, so there's no point in getting upset and potentially damaging the relationship
Method 2 of 4: Decide What It Means To You
Step 1. Forgive minor insults to yourself
Realize that sometimes we all cross the line, and ignore the small annoyances. If a friend gets too excited about joking and making condescending comments, forgive him. Conclude that it was a mistake, assume that he's sorry he said it, and expect him to fulfill all of his other obligations as a friend with compassion and empathy.
If disrespectful comments or ill-intentioned jokes continue to be a problem, you might consider discussing the matter with your friend
Step 2. Smile and just follow the harmless jokes
There are several scenarios in which this response might be appropriate, such as at school when the person making the joke doesn't know you well, or doesn't realize you're bothered by them. Sometimes, if you can show yourself to be an accepting and friendly person, you can earn the respect of those who make comments, and eventually make new friends.
For example, if someone spills water on you and someone says, "Are you going for a swim?" You can say, "Damn, I left my beach towel at home!"
Step 3. Ignore offensive jokes
What constitutes the basis of humor varies greatly. Our physical maturity, emotional state, and personal situation all form part of what we consider our sense of humor. Accept that your sense of humor can be radically different from other people's.
Ignoring jokes that you don't think are funny is an easy way to show your disapproval, without creating unnecessary tension
Method 3 of 4: Laughing At Yourself
Step 1. Don't take yourself too seriously
Realize that you are human, and you can make mistakes like anyone else, and sometimes very funny. A bit of lighthearted teasing might be good to help lighten your point of view.
If you're having a hard time finding the humorous side of a joke about yourself, try using an outsider's point of view. Repeat the joke in your head, but about other people, maybe even people you don't know. This can help you reduce your defensive feelings
Step 2. Attack the joker until he loses
If someone shares something about you that you might want to keep private, take control of your story. Cut the joker's story by correcting or explaining some aspect of the story, then finish. Others may prefer to hear it from you, so they will probably place their attention on you instead of the joker.
Embarrassing moments will be less embarrassing when you make jokes, so take this as an opportunity to rid yourself of negative feelings
Step 3. Be better than the joker
Show him you're not bothered by the joke by making even better jokes about yourself. Self-deprecating humor is great for de-escalating stressful situations, because it makes you more connected to other people. Others will feel more comfortable with yourself and the situation when they see you can laugh at yourself.
- This will turn the other person's attention to you and help you take control of the situation.
- An easy way to come up with a better joke than someone else is "It's nothing, you should see when I…"
Method 4 of 4: Building Boundaries
Step 1. Calmly express your hurt feelings
Just as the joker has the freedom to make jokes, you also have the freedom to challenge and discuss the consequences. Take deep breaths, ask permission to go to the toilet if necessary, and calm yourself down. Then state the problem as clearly and politely as possible.
For a joke about an offensive subject, you can say to the joker, "Please don't make jokes about it; it's a rather sensitive topic for me."
Step 2. Do not participate in making fun of others with bad intentions
Understand that your intentions may also be misinterpreted, so be careful about involving yourself in jokes that could hurt others. Follow the behavior you want others to adopt.
If you're not sure how to come up with humor without possibly offending others, try making fun of yourself. Self-deprecating humor actually helps put the other person at ease and reduces tension
Step 3. Have a discussion to discuss polite topics for jokes
If the tone of the banter has become too negative or harsh, pause the conversation. Explain that you feel the interaction is leading to a problematic topic and propose rules to improve the direction of the conversation. You can mention topics that should not be discussed and even specify the consequences for breaking the discussion rules.
Creating a set of rules will change the direction of the conversation without making the nuances of the conversation worse
Tips
- Smiling and contemptuous expressions are good self-defense.
- Read about common jokes. Recognizing jokes will help you feel better prepared.
Warning
- When a joke is meant to make you feel bad about yourself, embarrass or put you off social position, you may have been harassed. Talk to someone you trust about the situation.
- Realize that sometimes it's better to avoid certain situations. Standing up for yourself, unfortunately, can make you an even bigger target in the event of serious abuse.
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